Detroit Derby Girls 357 vs. Tallahassee Capital Punishment 73

Posted on May 14, 2013

– By Rusty Wheeler

In a closed bout played in Detroit, the visiting Tallahassee Capital Punishment roared out to a 47-16 lead after 4 jams.

Detroit then chipped away until they took a 55-53 lead in jam 10.

Tallahassee could only score 4 more points in the last jam of the 1st half, while Detroit ended the half leading 201-57.

Detroit amassed another 156 points in the final half while allowing the visitors only 16 points of their own, and Detroit ended up skating to a rather easy 357-73 victory. That was the most points ever scored by the Detroit Derby Girls in a bout. The two halves were also the two highest scoring halves in DDG history.

The bout started off with each team’s jammer, Detroit’s Racer McChaseHer and Tallahassee’s Stone Her, exchanging quick trips to the penalty box after which Racer lost lead jammer. Each jammer scored three 4-point passes, then Racer got sent back to the box for cutting the track and Stone Her managed to score two grand slams to win the jam 22-12. Racer started the 2nd jam in the box, and Tallahassee’s low maim racked up two grand slams of her own in a 10-4 jam win.

DDG’s aNOMaly got boxed in jam 3 for a track cut which allowed T-see’s Stone Her to win that jam 5-0. Then in jam 4 with aNOMaly still doing time in the Sin Bin, T-see’s low maim added two more slams in a 10-0 jam win.

Although the hometown Detroiters were heavily favored going into the bout, the gals from Florida were leading 47-16.

Roxanna Hardplace got Detroit on track with a 20-0 win in jam 5, with DDG’s blocking line of Racer McChaseHer, U.S.S. DentHerPrize, Spanish Ass’assin, and Ghetto Barbie totally keeping the T-see jammer confined in the pack and so unable to complete an initial pass.

Detroit outscored Tallahassee 19-6 in the next 5 jams to take a 55-53 lead, then in jam 11 DDG’s aNOMaly busted loose for a 35-0 jam win, aided by T-see’s jammer Great Wall of Gina heading to the box with a track-cutting major of her own. After that Detroit kept piling up the points en route to a 201-57 advantage at the intermission.

In the 2nd half, Detroit kept on scoring at will, while limiting the visitors to 16 points. When all was said and done, DDG had a 357-73 victory.

There was one entertaining moment in the 2nd half when T-see’s jammer, low maim, skated right out of her left skate at the beginning of jam 8. low maim sat at the edge of the track, furiously trying to get her skate back on and tied securely while Detroit’s aNOMaly lapped low maim twice. low maim was able to recover to score 1 point of her own on the jam.

Top scorer in the game was Detroit’s aNOMaly (also game MVP) with 131 points. Her teammate Doom Shakalaka added 86 more points, and other scorers were Racer McChaseHer (49 pts), Roxanna Hardplace (47 pts), Swift Justice (32 pts), and Feta Sleeze (12 pts.) Tallahassee’s scorers were Stone Her (38 pts), low maim (27 points), and Fem Venomous and LaVoodoo each had 4 points.

Detroit’s Racer McChaseHer was the most active blocker in the game with 43 total actions (blocks and assists, for those who don’t know what derby actions are). Teammates boo d. livers and Spanish Ass’assin each had 30 actions, Roxanna Hardplace had 27, Fatal Femme had 25, Feta Sleeze 22, U.S.S. DentHerPrize 16, and Ghetto Barbie had 12 actions. Tallahassee’s blocking was led by captain Wargasm with 18 actions, followed by Pixie Pounder with 16, LaVoodoo and Trailer Thrash each with 15, and Vaginamite had 11 actions.

Championship teams ready to bout

Posted on May 11, 2013

The final and most high-stakes bout of the derby season is about to take place.

The Detroit Pistoffs 3-1 take on the Grand Prix Madonnas 4-0 for the Championship title at 7 p.m. May 18.

The Pistoffs have won the championship bout for the last two seasons – including last year against the Grand Prix Madonnas.

Pistoffs Caption Cookie Rumble said this will be the rematch.

“I’m pretty sure the hits will be harder, the jams will be faster and the jam-line dancing … a billion times more awkward,” Cookie said. “It’s important to work hard, play hard and to give it all.”

GPM Captain Spanish Ass’assin said that winning is the only option for GPMs this year.

“Our team has something to prove to all the nay-sayers who said we could never take a team full of newbies, teach them to play derby, and win a championship. We’ve spent three hard years training to end up on top and we are ready to claim our prize,” Spanish said

GPM Co-captain Rocky Brawlboa said that it’s been a season of hard work and dedication to get to this point. She said if fans see only one bout this season it should be this one.

“Seeing the Pistoffs’ Cookie Rumble and the Grand Prix Madonnas Racer McChaseHer is like seeing the Jordan vs. Bird of roller derby. Both are extraordinary athletes who have been helping their teams prepare for this moment. It’s going to be an intense competition on a lot of levels and that’s going to make for a very exciting experience for our fans,” Rocky said.

Tickets are available at brownpapertickets.com for $15 each for adults – including up to two children twelve and under free with each adult admission.

The bout will take place at the Masonic Temple Drill Hall, 500 Temple Street, Detroit, MI 48201.

The after party will be at the Woodward Avenue Brewers, 22646 Woodward.

For more information, visit www.DetroitDerbyGirls.com.

Bacon + Derby = LOVE

Posted on May 4, 2013

Come hang out with the Detroit Derby Girls at BACONFEST Michigan  2013 from 4 p.m. to 11 p.m. June 1 at the Royal Oak Farmer’s Market, 316 East 11 Mile Road.

Looking to settle a grudge

Posted on April 24, 2013

There are times for everyone when a do over would be welcome. For the Devil’s Night Dames, this is their chance.

Michigan’s premier female roller derby league takes to the flat track at 7 p.m. May 4 and will feature a rematch of the two teams tied for third place – a.k.a. the Grudge Match.

In this bout, the D-Funk Allstars will battle the Devil’s Night Dames.

“It feels awesome to be in the Grudge Match,” said Dames Co-captain Feta Sleeze. “The Dames have been developing the skills of our players and we’re beginning to see improvement in gameplay and teamwork on the track. Win or lose, it is something we will keep developing and hopefully we will be one of the teams in the championship next year.

The two teams faced off against each other less than a month ago with the D-Funk coming out as victors.

“We took many mental notes on the bench during the last bout, and we are watching footage to determine how we can become stronger as a team by May 4,” said D-Funk co-captain The Mad Hatcher. “We are implementing drills at practice to help us enhance our strengths and improve on any weaknesses.”

Tickets are available at brownpapertickets.com for $12 each through April 28. After that, or at the door, are $15.

The bout will take place at the Masonic Temple Drill Hall, 500 Temple Street, Detroit, MI 48201.

Halftime entertainment will be by Amy Gore and Her Valentines.

The after party will be at the Majestic Cafe, 4140 Woodward.

Double Your Derby Pleasure

Posted on April 8, 2013

Michigan’s nationally ranked, premier female roller derby league takes to the flat track at 6 p.m. April 13 at the Detroit Masonic Temple and will feature four of the league’s five teams.

“It’s a great opportunity to see the wide range of talent Detroit has and see four of our five home teams in action,” said D-Funk Allstars jammer and league President Tiny Ninja (aka Tinja). “It’s also a great deal to get two bouts and still have enough time to grab dinner, drinks, or a show downtown.”

In the first bout, the Detroit Pistoffs will go up against the Pistolwhippers. The Detroit Pistoffs, last year’s champs, have handily won their last two bouts, while the Pistolwhippers haven’t won a bout yet this season – which could make this a very interesting bout.

“We need this win or we will be winless this season,” said Pistolwhippers Captain Lazer Beam.

In the second bout, the D-Funk Allstars will battle the Devil’s Night Dames. Both teams won their bouts against the Pistolwhippers, but have yet to secure any other wins this season.

Dames Co-Captain Feta Sleeze said double header bouts are among the best to attend.

“Double the action! Double the knockdowns! These double headers are really competitive, but on a lively and energetic level,” Feta said.

And the best derby action in Michigan is in Detroit.

“Aside from being the premier league in Michigan, with a number of talented skaters and friendly volunteers and staff, Detroit probably has one of the coolest skate venues. There is something about being in the Masonic Drill Hall with a sold out crowd, dimmed lights and fans cheering that feels high-spirited yet intimate at the same time,” Feta said.

The Detroit Derby Girls Allstars travel team is ranked 11th in the international Women’s Flat Track Derby Association. Skaters live throughout southeastern Michigan.

Tickets are available at brownpapertickets.com for $18.

Halftime will feature live music and games for kids.

The bout will take place at the Masonic Temple Drill Hall, 500 Temple Street, Detroit, MI 48201.

Halftime entertainment will be by local band Bars of Gold.

The after party will be at the Northern Lights Lounge, 660 W. Baltimore, Detroit, with a performance by Bars of Gold and French band Papier Tigre. Entry is free with a derby ticket stub, otherwise $5 at the door.

For more information, visit www.DetroitDerbyGirls.com.

Unbiased Excitement

Posted on April 2, 2013

By Pitzy
Non-Skating Official

There’s an “official” side to roller derby charged with keeping those wily derby girls in check – the STAT Army.

Just like any legitimate sport there are rules and regulations in roller derby and the Detroit Derby Girls are kept in line by their home crew of NSOs and Referees known as the Stat Army.

Officials with the Stat Army come to practice, train with skaters, and are considered members of the league. We’re proud to call DDG our home.

 

As officials, however, we are trained to remain professional, and not show bias toward any team.

We do not clap and we do not cheer, which is especially important when we are hosting other leagues.

We volunteer as officials because we love the sport; if we didn’t we wouldn’t be as committed as we are.  We still enjoy good derby as much as anyone else.

We cringe when we see hard hits. Our eyes get wide and our jaws drop when we see amazing plays. And worst of all, we’re disappointed when we miss something the crowd reacts to because  we were busy …  but our focus must remain on our jobs; watching the track, recording the points, timing the penalties.

 

March 23, the Detroit Derby Girls Allstars took on Steel City’s Steel Hurtin in a close fought bout that came down to a one-point win for Detroit (158-157).

The Masonic Drill Hall where we play was roaring with excitement as the lead changed quickly between the teams and eventually came down to the last full two-minute jam without lead jammer. It was neck and neck, between DDG’s Racer McChaseHer and Steel Hurtin’s Hard Times, with both teams scoring points until the last four whistle blasts.

When a game is played as close and as hard-fought as that one, you can only imagine how hard it can be to contain our excitement.

For me, when the game is being played as intense as it was, it only makes me focus more and make sure that I am doing everything I can to keep the game going. And when it does come down to that last point, you better believe we’re checking our math three times over.

Last season, I had the honor of traveling with DDG when we played against Kansas City in Lincoln, NE.  Once again it was a back and forth game coming down to only a handful of points in the last few jams. I was penalty tracking. Trying to keep my focus on the pack of referees encircling me, and off the score was starting to get harder to resist.

As soon as Cookie Rumble placed her hands on her hips, I allowed myself a glance at the scoreboard, Detroit had won. And I let out the littlest of eeks! I promptly shook it off, and went back to my clipboard and started tallying my penalties, but I hadn’t escaped being noticed by the Head NSO.

Even the littlest bit of excitement can be picked up, especially by those used to holding it back themselves.  Trying to contain the excitement isn’t always easy. There will always be bouts that really get your attention, thankfully for me, there’s always a blast from a whistle to pull me back in.

In all reality though, as an official, unless you take the time to look, you never know who is winning. You’re focused on your job at hand and that’s it. Even score keeping, unless I look or ask, I usually have no idea what the other team’s score is.

As much as I enjoyed being a fan, I love being involved even more. The teams, the skaters, my family of officials, and especially the fans are all what makes this more than a hobby. It’s my passion.

DDG’s Stat Army is always accepting new volunteers.  Contact hr@detroitderbygirls.com to and like our Facebook page to stay informed of new Ref! U courses starting soon!

Steel City Falls in the Motor City

Posted on March 25, 2013

By Rusty Wheeler

Steel City’s Steel Hurtin’ ventured to Detroit (March 23, 2013) and in a wild finish, the Detroit Derby Girls came from behind in the game’s final jam to take a 158-157 victory.

Detroit had a 24-13 edge in lead jammers out of the game’s 40 jams, but what very nearly did Detroit in was the fact they lost their jammer to the box nine times to only three times for Steel City. Steel City outscored Detroit 116-24 in the 11 jams in which a Detroit jammer spent at least part of a jam in the box; Detroit outscored Steel City 40-14 in the four jams in which an SC jammer spent some time in the box.

In the other jams, in which both teams had their jammer on the track for the entire jam, Detroit held the scoring edge 110-41.

Read more about how this bout ended at Derby News Network.

Tiny Ninja Voted Detroit’s Favorite Amateur Athlete

Posted on March 21, 2013

Congrats to The D-Funk Allstars  Tiny Ninja for being voted Metro Times Detroit  Favorite Amateur Athlete in Detroit for the 2nd year in a row!

 

The Detroit Derby Girls were voted as most overlooked story of 2012.

“We have to admit, the world of local roller derby hasn’t gotten much ink from us over the past year — although a bevy of these hard-rolling gals did form the pictorial core of our Best of Detroit issue two years ago. Please accept our mea culpa for the oversight in 2012, ladies.”

That’s alright,  Metro Times. We’re sure you’re going to make up for it this year

Skate-A-Thon

Posted on March 20, 2013

Ever wanted to dust off your old wheels and skate with a real live derby girl? Here’s your chance!

The Detroit Derby Girls Allstars and Motor City Disassembly Line travel teams have a lot of great derby planned for this season and they are trying to raise money to get that traveling done.

The event takes place from 6 to 8 pm Sunday, April 14 at Riverside Arena, 36635 Plymouth Road, Livonia.

The cost is $6 at the door and include rental skates.

The night will start with skaters and officials competing against each other to see who can skate the most laps in an hour from 6 to 7 pm.

You can pledge money to your favorite derby girl or guy to win! Pledges can be in lump sums or per lap amounts (ex. $.20 or $.50 per lap skated). Your average travel team skater can complete about 5 laps per minute!

After the competition, all guests are invited to skate with ALL Travel Team Skaters and Officials from 7pm to 8pm! (Hip checks by request only

There will also be baked goods and Detroit Derby Girls merchandise for sale.

Contact your favorite players for more information and to make donations.

Derby! U?

Posted on March 19, 2013

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