DDG 2009 Championship–Pistolwhippers 86 vs. D-Funk Allstars 83

Posted on June 6, 2009

by Rusty Wheeler
Detroit, MI
May 30, 2009

The Pistolwhippers cruised to an easy 39 point lead at halftime over the D-Funk Allstars, then the Allstars chipped away at that lead in the 2nd half, finally taking the lead 83-82 in the penultimate jam when Polly Fester scored a 9-0 grand slam jam win. But then Sarah Hipel came right back in the game’s final jam with one of her patented “Killbox” moments with a 4-0 jam win for the Whippers, thus winning the game 86-83 and allowing the Pistolwhippers to take home the Detroit Derby Girls “Olive” trophy for the 2nd time in their history.

The Pistolwhippers were last league champs in 2007 when they defeated the Devil’s Night Dames 96-82 in the championship game. The Whippers were runners-up in 2006, losing to the Detroit Pistoffs 121-113 in the title game. The Whippers and Pistoffs have now each won two DDG titles. The Whippers also now own the best lifetime record of the four DDG teams with a 10-4 won-lost mark. The Whippers also are the highest scoring team in the DDG, scoring an average of 109 points per game over their 14 total games. The Whippers also set a new season defensive record, only allowing their 2009 season opponents 68 points per game, eclipsing the old defensive record of 69 points allowed per game by the 2008 Detroit Pistoffs.

This was the first time the D-Funk Allstars battled for the DDG championship, and they made a fine showing. The Allstars were hampered by the loss of hard-nosed blocker Roxanna Hardplace who had broken her collarbone in a recent DDG travel team game versus Grand Raggidy. Also, former D-Funk captain Black Eyed Skeez took a hard fall in pre-game warmups, although if she was skating at less than full capacity it didn’t show as she had a typical good blocking game. In any event, the Allstars still hold the single-season scoring record when they scored an average of 130 points per game in the 2006 season (they also scored 122 points/game in 2007). Although the D-Funk are now 4-9 lifetime, they appear headed up after playing for the championship.

This game was the last DDG game to be played under WFTDA 3.1 rules.

1st Half

The Pistolwhippers opened the game with captain Del Bomber at pivot, Sarah Hipel, Bytch Ryder, Kat Von D’Stroya as blockers, and Honey Suckit at jammer. The D-Funk lined up Polly Fester at pivot, blockers Black Eyed Skeez, Tiny Ninja (aka “Tinja”), and captain Fatal Femme, with jammer boo d. livers. boo d. livers got lead jammer, but on her scoring pass she got tangled up with some teammates in the back of the pack and fell down. That allowed Honey Suckit to pass, so boo called the jam off and the score remained 0-0. Black Eyed Skeez fell heavily in that pileup, and was a little slow to get up, although she skated well in the balance of the game.

Sarah Hipel got lead in jam 2, then evaded a would-be big hit from D-Funk’s Ghetto Barbie en route to a 4-0 jam win. Jam 3 was an 8-8 affair. The Funk’s boo d. livers had lead, then she played a little cat-and-mouse with Whippers’ jammer Kat Von D’Stroya. Kat then passed boo and entered the pack to score, but boo didn’t call it off. Each jammer got 4 points, then came around a second time for another 4 points each. Polly Fester got lead for D-Funk in jam 4, but couldn’t shake Honey Suckit, so called it without scoring. It was 12-8 for the Whippers after four jams.

In jam 5, D-Funk’s Sista Slit’chya was spun around in the pack, then got a fortuitous whip from Ghetto Barbie and thus became lead jammer. She called the jam after scoring just 1 point, though, as she had Sarah Hipel hard on her heels. In jam 6, D-Funk’s Black Eyed Skeez floored Kat Von D’Stroya, allowing boo d. livers to grab lead and go on to a 4-0 jam win, temporarily putting D-Funk in the lead at 13-12.

D-Funk’s Ima Wrecker fought her way through to emerge first from the pack in jam 7, but then became the game’s first jammer to get sent to the box for cutting the track. Honey Suckit then claimed lead for the Whippers and went on to an 8-0 grand slam jam win to restore the lead in the Whippers favor at 20-13. Honey’s second scoring pass was terminated prematurely when she was decked by Polly Fester to a notable crowd reaction. Ima started jam 8 in the box, but Whipper Kat Von D’Stroya couldn’t get by the effective tandem of Fatal Femme and Tinja, then got knocked down by Cat’s Meow. Kat did recover, did finally get the lead the next time around, but called the jam before anyone scored.

Honey Suckit got lead jammer in jam 9, but couldn’t shake boo d. livers. Honey called the jam after outscoring boo 4-3. boo also got belted to the floor by Del Bomber just after the whistle that ended the jam. Kat Von D’Stroya got lead in jam 10, and D-Funk’s Sista Slit’chya got trapped in the pack. Sarah Hipel put a hard shoulder into Sista, who sailed into the infield and was then banished to the box for cutting the track. DF’s Black Eyed Skeez also fended off a hard block from Hipel, but Skeez got sent to the box. At jam’s end, Kat had rang up a 10-0 double grand slam win, stretching the Whippers lead to 34-16. D-Funk called time out to try and get organized.

D-Funk jammer Sista Slit’chya started jam 11 in the box. That allowed Sarah Hipel to lap her, although Sarah only won the jam 4-0. Kat Von D’Stroya got lead in jam 12 but couldn’t shake boo d. livers, so called it with no score. Del Bomber donned the star for the Whippers in jam 13, gaining lead when she slammed on the brakes to avoid an intended block from Black Eyed Skeez; however, Polly Fester passed Del and got a 2-1 jam win which forced Del to call it off. Sarah Hipel got the lead and another 3-0 win for the Whippers in jam 14. As was typical of many of the contest’s jams, Sarah’s teammates slowed the pack which put the last D-Funk blocker, Ghetto Barbie, out of play, thus giving Sarah an easy pass-by. Both teams employed that strategy throughout the game. It was 42-18 for the Whippers, with D-Funk employing another time out.

Kat Von D’Stroya won jam 15 for the Whippers 4-1 over boo d. livers. There was some particularly good team blocking by the Whippers in this jam when Bytch Ryder slowed boo, then Del came in from the side to blast boo in pure textbook style (if there was a derby blocking textbook!). The Whippers then went on to outscore the Allstars 15-0 in the next five jams, thus stretching their lead to 61-19. Jam 16 was 3-0 for Honey Suckit, jam 17 went 4-0 for Sarah Hipel, jam 18 was scoreless, jam 19 went to Honey Suckit 4-0, then jam 20 was 4-0 for Hipel again. Bytch Ryder got a major penalty for out of play blocking on boo in jam 18. boo also had lead in jam 18 and was initially credited with scoring 4 points, but the Pistolwhippers challenged the score and then the points were taken away from boo and the Allstars.

D-Funk tried to battle back late in the 1st half. boo d. livers won jam 21 by 3-0, and Polly Fester won jam 22 by 4-0. That cut the Whippers lead to 61-26, but then Kat Von D’Stroya finished off the half with a 4-0 win for the Whippers, making the halftime score 65-26.

In the first half, the Whippers had 15 lead jammers to 8 for the D-Funk, including 11 leads in a row in the middle of the half in which the Whippers outscored their foes 41-6. D-Funkers Fatal Femme, Black Eyed Skeez, and Tinja had 26, 19, and 15 blocks (respectively) in that 1st half, while Bytch Ryder, Cassie Corridor, Cold Fusion, Del Bomber, and Elle Iminator were at the top of the blocking stats for the Whippers. The Whippers scored 3 grand slams in the half to none for the D-Funk. D-Funk were shut out in 15 of the half’s 23 jams, while the Whippers couldn’t score in 9 of the jams.

At halftime, some folks were expressing disappointment. They figured the game would be close all the way, but it was looking like a romp for the Pistolwhippers.

2nd Half

The Whippers started pivot Del Bomber, blockers Bytch Ryder and Kat Von D’Stroya, and jammer Honey Suckit to start the 2nd half. D-Funk countered with blockers Tinja, Black Eyed Skeez, Polly Fester, and jammer boo d. livers. The Whippers Sarah Hipel (blocker) and the Allstars Fatal Femme (pivot) were both in the penalty box. boo d. livers for lead jammer, but Honey Suckit won the jam 1-0. The Whippers also won jam 2 by 1-0 courtesy of Sarah Hipel. Jam 3 was scoreless. Sarah zoomed through the pack to get lead, although she had to put a nice juke on Tinja to accomplish that feat. When Sarah came around to score, she was decked by Black Eyed Skeez, and before Sarah could call the jam, Polly Fester snuck around and got a 2-0 win for the Funkers. It was 67-28 for the Whippers.

The D-Funk got their big break to start to get back into the game in jam 5. The Whippers started the jam with 2 blockers in the penalty box, and they sent Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t to the jammer line, jamming for her first time in the game. D-Funk countered with Sista Slit’chya, although Sista had only scored 1 point so far in the game in 9 previous jams. Sista got lead when the Whippers Bytch Ryder was out of play blocking, then Jackie was knocked down by Fatal Femme and got trapped in the pack. Sista scored a couple of grand slams by lapping everyone, had to shake off another out of play block by Bytch, then went on to a third grand slam when Cat’s Meow took a turn at knocking down Jackie. It was a magnificent 15-0 jam win for the D-Funkers that cut the Whippers lead from 39 to 24 points at 67-43, breathing new hope into the Allstars.

Sarah Hipel came back with a 3-0 win in jam 6 for the Whippers. Whipper Cassie Corridor did a nice job containing boo d. livers in the pack. Eventually Black Eyed Skeez placed a nice offensive block on the person of Cassie and freed boo, but it was too late in the jam to matter. Polly Fester got lead for the Funk in jam 7, but had Honey Suckit right with her. It looked like a tactical error when Polly didn’t call off the jam when Honey passed her and started scoring. Honey did get 4 points, then got trapped back in the pack. In the meantime, Polly also got 4 points, but was able to escape the pack and come around for another scoring pass of 5 points as Honey was still trapped, thus winning the jam 9-4 with a slam. Overall, that jam was wild. At one point, the Whippers Del Bomber got sent to the box and overshot the box and turned and skated the wrong way back to the box, and of course that is a big no-no. That 15-0 jam cut the Whippers lead to 22 points at 74-52, triggering a time out called by the Pistolwhippers.

Jam 8 was scoreless. Sarah Hipel got lead for the Whippers, but was passed by Sista Slit’chya and so called off the jam. Both jammers took some hard shots (as in hard hits, not hard liquor) in the pack. The Allstars then put on a burst of scoring in the next three jams. Jam 9 was won by boo d. livers 3-0 over Hipel. boo got the lead, then Hipel got in front of boo and seemed to be mostly interested in just wasting time and blocking. But the pack slowed even more and both jammers approached the back of the pack. boo passed Hipel, then Hipel elbowed boo down from behind, getting a major penalty for her efforts. boo got her 3 quick points and just as quickly called the jam so to have as much time as possible in the next jam without a Pistolwhipper jammer on the track.

Polly Fester got her 2nd grand slam of the game with a 5-0 win in jam 10, aided by the Whippers jammer, Sarah Hipel, starting the jam in the penalty box. That cut the Whippers lead to 74-60. Sista Slit’chya got lead jammer in jam 11 and the D-Funk fans were going wild. Sista had the Whippers jammer Del Bomber with her but didn’t call the jam. Del got 3 points, then got trapped in the pack and eventually was sent to the penalty box. Sista got an outside whip from Tinja to score 4 points, then came around again, getting another 3 points including a point for the Whippers jammer in the box. It was a down to a 10 point lead for the Whippers at 77-67.

The D-Funk kept chipping away. boo d. livers took advantage of Del Bomber starting jam 12 in the box, boo getting lead and a 2-0 jam win, although boo had to survive getting knocked down by Sarah Hipel in the jam. Polly Fester got lead jam narrowly over Honey Suckit in jam 13, and called it off with a 1-0 jam win. It was a 7 point lead at 77-70.

The next several jams went back and forth. Sista Slit’chya made a nice move to slip by Del Bomber on the outside and gain lead jam, but then got passed by the Whippers Kat Von D’Stroya and Kat won jam 14 by 1-0. In jam 15, Sarah Hipel got the lead, then slowed to block D-Funk’s jammer boo d. livers. Eventually, Hipel won the jam 2-0. In jam 16, the Whippers Polly Fester had to dodge a hard hit from Elle Iminator, and that allowed Honey Suckit to get by and get the lead. Polly stayed right with Honey, though, and even managed to sneak by for a 1-0 jam win for the D-Funk. Kat Von D’Stroya had to work her way past a hard blocking Fatal Femme, then went on to a 2-0 jam win to restore the Whippers lead to 11 points at 82-71. Kat was helped by some hard blocking teammates who contained the D-Funk jammer Sista Slit’chya.

Jam 18 started with 4:06 remaining on the game clock. boo d. livers went around the outside of the pack to get the lead, and went on to a 3-0 jam win. boo’s teammate, Ima Wrecker, did a nice job holding back Sarah until Ima was called for being out of play, too far in front of the pack. it was 82-74 for the Whippers, merely an 8 point lead.

In jam 19, what could have been the pivotal jam of the game, Polly Fester got lead jammer for the Allstars when her teammate Black Eyed Skeez floored the Whippers jammer Kat Von D’Stroya. When Kat got back up, she was skating a bit slowly and looked as if maybe she had hurt her left arm. Polly went on to lap the pack twice, including a grand slam on one of the passes, winning the jam 9-0 and putting the D-Funk in the lead at 83-82. The Pistolwhippers called time out; there were 57 seconds left to play.

In what was a bad omen for the D-Funk, the Pistolwhippers lined up Sarah Hipel to jam for the final jam. Sarah, when skating under the name “Killbox” back in 2007, broke a 96-96 tie with the D-Funk by pulling out a 2-0 jam win in a jam that only had 43 seconds in it (jams ended at the end of the game clock back then). Well, Killbox, I mean Sarah, did it again this time. Sarah got the lead when her teammates slowed the main body of the pack so that the lead D-Funk blockers had to let Sarah go by. At the same time, the Whippers blockers trapped the D-Funk jammer, Sista Slit’chya, in the pack. Then Sista got sent to the box, then so did her teammate Black Eyed Skeez. That was all that Sarah needed as she went on to a 4-0 jam win, also restoring the Whippers on top with a score of 86-83 as time finally ran out on a game D-Funk Allstars team.

Afterthoughts

In the 2nd half, the D-Funk outscored the Pistolwhippers by a 57-21 margin. The D-Funk had 11 leads to 9, and had 6 leads in a row midway through the half where they outscored the Whippers 18-4. While the Whippers shut out the D-Funk in 9 of the 2nd half’s 20 jams, the D-Funk returned the favor by dealing goose-eggs to the Whippers in 11 jams. The Whippers could only score a single grand slam in the 2nd half, that by Sarah Hipel in the final jam as she was credited with passing the other jammer who was in the box. The D-Funk tallied 7 slams in the 2nd half.

While most of the 2nd half’s jams were low-scoring, the D-Funk did take advantage of 15-0, 9-4, 5-0, 7-3, and 9-0 jam wins to pull themselves back into the game. It only goes to show how a few key jams can quickly turn a derby game around.

Also, in the 2d half, it must have been difficult to manage the team’s lineups as each team had a constant parade of skaters to and from the penalty box. Hats off to Scarlette Fever and Bettie Two-Guns of the Pistolwhippers and Howie Rollson and Fanny Pack of the D-Funk for managing to keep skaters on the track during a frenzied game! Congrats also to Scarlette for managing her team to their second championship.

Statistics

D-Funk’s Polly Fester led all scorers in the game with 33 points in 10 jams with 6 leads and 3 grand slams. Other Allstars jammers were: boo d. livers (27 points, 15 jams, 9 leads); Sista Slit’chya (23 pts, 15 jams, 4 leads, 4 slams); Ima Wrecker (0 pts, 3 jams).

The Pistolwhippers were led in scoring by the duo of Kat Von D’Stroya (29 pts, 12 jams, 6 leads, 2 slams) and Sarah Hipel (29 pts, 15 jams, 11 leads, 2 slams). Other Whippers jammers were: Honey Suckit (24 pts, 12 jams, 6 leads, 1 slam); Del Bomber (4 pts, 3 jams, 1 lead); Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t (0 pts, 1 jam).

Sarah Hipel of the Pistolwhippers was named MVP of the game.

Future

The Detroit Derby Girls send their travel team to Seattle to play Rat City on June 6. Detroit is looking for revenge having lost in the 2007 WFTDA national tournament to Rat City by a 160-50 margin.

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