Posted on September 30, 2010
by Rusty Wheeler
Sep 26, 2010
The Tri-City Roller Girls, AKA the “Thunder,” rolled into the usual practice rink, Riverside Arena, of the Detroit Derby Girls on the evening of Sunday, September 26, and defeated the Motor City Disassembly Line 136-124. Most of the 1st half was played fairly evenly, and then in the last four jams of that 1st half the Thunder outscored the MCDL 51-2 and so the Thunder led 92-49 at the half.
During the 2nd half, the MCDL clawed back into the game, helped by 15-0 and 12-0 jams by Honey Suckit and Bytch Ryder, respectively. Finally, very late in the game, the MCDL closed the gap to only 12 points, but then on the very last jam the Thunder’s Jill Standing got lead jammer and immediately called the jam off as the game clock had expired and no doubt she did not want to take a chance at going to the penalty box and thus giving the MCDL a power jam. While the MCDL outscored the Thunder 75-44 in the 2nd half, Tri-City held on for the win.
Tri-City Thunder: 9 Anita Martini; 18 Bareleigh Legal (captain); 22 Freudian Whip; 952 Greta Garbage; over80 Gunmoll Mindy; 4i Jill Standing; 3 Kitty Krasher; 37 Lilith NoFair; 306 Sin-e-star; 10.0 Skate Pastor; 101 Stacie Jones; 33 Suzy Slam. Managers: 909 Nikki 9-doors (asscap); 15 Cleothrashya.
Motor City Disassembly Line: .40 cal Betty Beretta; 44 Bytch Ryder; 9 Cat’s Meow (captain); I-75 Diesel Doll; 724 Dizzy Devine; 1974 Honey Suckit; 35th Lady Jackie O Noyoudidn’t; 3.9 Kara Thrash; 925 Loca Lola; 10/6 Mad Hatcher; 80 Mean Streak (asscap); 42 Midnight Vulture; 55 Tara ToPieces; 17 Yo-Yo. Managers: Rock Candy; Candyman.
Honey Suckit started the game by giving the MCDL an 8-4 jam win over the Thunder’s Skate Pastor. Kitty Krasher quickly tied the game with a 4-0 win for Tri-City in jam 2. Then TC’s Freudian Whip put the Thunder into the lead with an 8-0 win in jam 3, along with the game’s first grand slam. Dizzy Devine got a 10-0 double grand slam win for MCDL in jam 4, flipping the score to 18-16 in favor of the MCDL, then in jam 5 the MCDL’s Yo-Yo outscored Kitty Krasher 8-7 to make it 26-23 for the MCDL.
After a scoreless jam 6, Mean Streak upped the lead to 30-23 with a 4-0 win in jam 7. TC got 4 points back with a 4-0 jam 8 by Sin-e-star, followed up by a 9-1 win in jam 9 by Freudian Whip over Bytch Ryder. That put the Thunder back on top, 36-31. Bytch Ryder then skated to MCDL’s best jam of the 1st half with a 14-0 double grand slam in jam 10, and the MCDL led once again at 45-36.
Tri-City’s Skate Pastor then won jam 11 by 4-0, MCDL’s Dizzy Devine won jam 12 by 2-0, and TC’s Kitty Krasher won jam 13 by 1-0 to leave the score at 47-41 for the MCDL. Tri-City then took command in the next four jams as their blockers bottled up the MCDL jammers in jams 14 and 15, and MCDL shot themselves in the skate with jammers in the penalty box in jams 16 and 17. TC’s Skate Pastor won jam 14 by 8-0 with a slam, also winning jam 15 by 10-0 with two slams. Then TC’s Freudian Whip had the highest scoring jam of the game in jam 16, a 19-0 job with three grand slams. Finishing the half was TC’s Kitty Krasher with a 14-2 win over Honey Suckit in jam 17. That late 51-2 run put the Thunder in the lead at 92-49 going into the intermission.
Leading scorers were TC’s Freudian Whip (36 pts), Kitty Krasher (26 pts), Skate Pastor (26 pts), Sin-e-star (4 pts); MCDL had a balanced attack with Bytch Ryder (15 pts), Honey Suckit (14 pts), and Dizzy Devine (12 pts). MCDL had 8 lead jammers to 7 for the Thunder in the half, and the Thunder out-grand slammed the MCDL 10-4. The MCDL lost 10 skaters to the box, five of them jammers; the Thunder had seven skaters sent to the sin bin, only three of them jammers. Defensive standouts were the MCDL’s Diesel Doll, Cat’s Meow, and Bytch Ryder with 12, 11, and 10 actions respectively; Jill Standing led the Thunder with 10 actions, 8 of them offensive blocks.
The 2nd half was just as hard-fought as the 1st, although the jams were usually shorter in average duration. Honey Suckit started things off after intermission with an 8-4 win over Skate Pastor, but then TC’s Sin-e-star got jam 2 by 5-0 (with a slam) and Freudian Whip won jam 3 by 1-0. Dizzy Devine took jam 4 by 3-0 for the home team, and then TC’s Jill Standing edged Bytch Ryder 4-3 in jam 5. The score was 106-63 for TC.
Tri-City kept piling on the points, winning jam 6 by 5-0 (Freudian Whip with the slam), jam 7 by 2-0 (Skate Pastor), and jam 8 by 5-2 (Sin-e-star with a slam over Mean Streak). It was 118-65 for TC. In jam 9, MCDL fielded a blocking lineup of Bytch Ryder, Diesel Doll, Cat’s Meow, and Yo-Yo, and they totally kept TC’s jammer Freudian Whip from making an initial pass, all while MCDL’s jammer Honey Suckit was circling the track en route to a triple grand slam 15-0 jam win to cut the lead to 118-80. Then in jam 10 TC’s Skate Pastor won by 3-0 as her blockers Greta Garbage, Anita Martini, Sin-e-star, and Bareleigh Legal returned the favor by corking MCDL’s jammer Dizzy Devine without an initial pass through the pack. MCDL was perhaps helped somewhat by Skate Pastor getting sent to the box in that jam to limit the damage. About midway through the 2nd half the score stood at 121-80.
The momentum kept trying to shift MCDL’s way late in the 2nd half. Motor City’s Yo-Yo won jam 11 by 9-0 with a slam, although jam 12 went to TC’s Freudian Whip 3-2 over Mean Streak. Bytch Ryder eked out an 8-7 win over Skate Pastor in jam 13 (with a slam for Bytch), and MCDL’s Honey Suckit also won jam 14 by 2-0. Mean Streak then won jam 15 by a 1-0 margin, and the score was 131-102 for Tri-City.
Tri-City’s Skate Pastor won jam 16 by 4-0, and that was the last jam TC would win on the night. MCDL’s Bytch Ryder took advantage of TC’s jammer, Kitty Krasher, getting sent to the box in jam 17 and grabbed a 12-0 win. How she managed to avoid getting a slam, I’ll never know (she had three 4-point scoring passes). That cut the TC lead to 135-114, and the home crowd was starting to get excited again. Jam 18 was scoreless, and then MCDL won jam 19 by 7-0 (Honey Suckit with a slam) to further cut the TC lead to 135-121. In that jam 19, once again MCDL’s Bytch Ryder, Diesel Doll, Cat’s Meow, and Yo-Yo kept the TC jammer from ever getting through the pack.
In jam 20, MCDL’s Bytch Ryder edged TC’s Sin-e-star 3-1 to cut the lead to 136-124, then with a few seconds left on the game clock, MCDL called time out so they could skate one more jam. Alas, the miraculous comeback was not to be. TC’s Jill Standing grabbed lead jammer just before Honey Suckit, and seeing that the game clock had expired, quickly called the jam off, thus ending the game and preserving Tri-City’s hard fought victory over their hosts.
In the 2nd half, MCDL’s Honey Suckit led all jammers with 32 points. Her teammates Bytch Ryder and Dizzy Devine chipped in with 26 and 10 points respectively. Skate Pastor led tri-City in the 2nd half, scoring 20 points; her only teammate who got to double-digits in scoring in that half was Sin-e-star with 11 points. In the final half, MCDL had 11 lead jammers to 9 for TC; MCDL had the edge in grand slams, six to three. Tri-City sent 16 skaters to the penalty box in the 2nd half (two jammers), while MCDL sent only nine skaters to the box (no jammers). Defensively in the half, MCDL’s Cat’s Meow tallied 23 actions, and Diesel Doll had 18 actions. The Thunder were led by Anita Martini (19 actions), Bareleigh Legal (14) and Sin-e-star (11).
Once again, power jams turned a close game in favor of one team. Tri-City outscored MCDL 32-2 in three jams where they had a power jam advantage with the MCDL jammer in the box. MCDL had a 22-3 advantage in three jams where they had a power jam advantage. There were also two jams where each team had a jammer in the box at some time during those jams; TC outscored MCDL 17-1 in those two jams. Clearly, to win derby games teams must keep their jammers out of the box! Each team depended on a limited number of blockers for most of their defense. For MCDL, Diesel Doll and Cat’s Meow each skated 24 jams (out of 38 for the game) on defense. Bytch Ryder skated only 10 jams on defense but had the 3rd-highest amount of actions for the game for her team. Yo-Yo (15 jams) and Tara ToPieces (12 jams) each also had double-digit actions. Tri-City called upon Anita Martini (27 jams or 71% of the jams in the game), Bareleigh Legal (23 jams), Jill Standing (18 jams), and Sin-e-star (16 jams) to provide their main defense.
Motor City’s Honey Suckit was named Jammer of the Game. She scored 46 points, grabbed lead jammer 7 out of 9 jams (78% average), and scored an outstanding 5.11 points per jam along with 4 grand slams. She also led all jammers with a plus 22 in the plus/minus department while jamming (plus 24 when lead jammer). Bytch Ryder also had a fine game jamming, scoring 41 points in only 6 jams (getting lead in all 6 jams) for 6.83 points per jam, and was a plus 20 while jamming (along with 3 slams). Other MCDL jammers were: Yo-Yo (17 pts, 5 jams, 1 lead, 1 slam); Dizzy Devine (15 pts, 6 jams, 4 leads, 2 slams); Mean Streak (5 pts, 4 jams, 1 lead); Cat’s Meow (0 pts, 1 jam); Diesel Doll (0 pts, 1 jam); Jackie O Noyoudidn’t (0 pts, 1 jam); Tara ToPieces (0 pts, 5 jams).
Tri-City had a pair of high-scoring jammers, too. Skate Pastor led all TC jammers with 46 points while jamming 12 times with 4 leads and 3 grand slams. She scored 3.83 pts/jam although was only a plus 1 while jamming. Freudian Whip scored 45 points while jamming 12 times with 6 leads and 6 slams, scoring 3.75 pts/jam and was a plus 10 while jamming. Other TC jammers: Kitty Krasher (26 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads, 2 slams); Sin-e-star (15 pts, 5 jams, 3 leads, 2 slams); Jill Standing (4 pts, 3 jams, 1 lead); Greta Garbage (0 pts, 1 jam).
Defensively, MCDL’s Cat’s Meow was named Defensive Blocker of the game. Cat’s had the most actions (blocks and assists) in the game with 34 (27 of them on defense, also high for the game) and tied for the MCDL lead with a plus 27 rating on defense. Cat’s also had 6 knockdowns in the game. Diesel Doll racked up 30 actions (6 knockdowns), Bytch Ryder had 18 actions (while only skating 10 jams on defense), Yo-Yo had 12 actions, and Tara ToPieces chipped in with 10 actions.
Tri-City’s Anita Martini was named Offensive Blocker of the Game as she led her team with 25 total actions (8 on offense) and led all blockers and skaters in the game with an outstanding plus 48 as a blocker. Her Teammate Bareleigh Legal had 20 actions, including 7 total knockdowns to lead all skaters in that category. Sin-e-star registered 15 actions, and Jill Standing contributed 14 actions.
While no skater was named MVP of the bout at the game, strong consideration should go to Tri-City’s Anita Martini and MCDL’s Cat’s Meow for that honor.
The Detroit Derby Girls upcoming home schedule has not yet been finalized; however, come on out to their 2011 Season Draft Party on Saturday, October 16, as they draft players to fill out team rosters, including expanding to a 5th team. The party is at the Masonic Temple in downtown Detroit. More info athttp://www.detroitderbygirls.com/.
The Tri-City Roller Girls next action is also on October 16, versus their (sort of) neighbors the CN Power of Toronto Roller Derby.
Posted on May 3, 2010
by Rusty Wheeler
Apr 24, 2010
The Pistolwhippers skated their final game as 2009 Detroit Derby Girls Champions, but it’s doubtful they enjoyed the game as they were bested by the Detroit Pistoffs by a 131-63 score. The Pistoffs held a 26-12 margin in lead jammers and took advantage of that and of their ability to stay out of the penalty box. The Pistoffs only sent 10 skaters to the penalty box in the game (only three in the 1st half) versus 19 penalty minutes for the game for the Pistolwhippers. This game was the “Grudge Match” to settle 3rd and 4th place for the 2010 DDG season. Each of these teams has won two DDG Championships, but this year neither team qualified for the league championship game. The Pistolwhippers were 4-0 in 2009; in 2010 they dropped to 0-4.
The Whippers drew first blood with a 4-0 jam to start the game by their long time mainstay jammer Honey Suckit, but then the Pistoffs came right back with a 4-0 jam by the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble. Midway through the 1st half the Pistoffs had a 31-7 lead; they led 62-21 at the half. The Pistoffs blanked the Whippers in 14 of the half’s 20 jams. The only scoring highlight of the 1st half for the Whippers was a 10-0 win in jam 17 by Sarah Hipel. The Pistoffs had an 11-0 jam 14 win by Cookie Rumble, and an 8-0 win in jam 16 by Vega Vendetta.
The 2nd half was more of the same with the Pistoffs outscoring the Whippers 29-7 through the first half of the last half to lead 91-28. The Whippers finally scored 25 of their points in the game’s final 4 jams to make the score somewhat more respectful, not to mention avoiding setting a low-scoring record for the DDG. The Pistoffs were able to shut out the Whippers in 11 of the final half’s 20 jams.
Pistoff Effin Money was MVP and Jammer of the Game. She scored 38 points to lead all jammers, and led all jammers with a plus 27 plus/minus rating. Her teammates Elle McFearsome and Cookie Rumble were named Offensive and Defensive Blockers of the Game, respectively. Elle had 21 assists and 63 total actions in the game, while Cookie had 39 attacks (aka “blocks”) and 55 total actions. The Whippers were led offensively by Sarah Hipel with 35 points, and defensively by Del Bomber (44 actions) and Elle Iminator (39 actions).
Pistolwhippers: 27 A.O. Lesgo; MC5 Cassie Corridor; N2O Cool Whip; 76 Del Bomber; I-75 Diesel Doll; 11 Elle Iminator; 1974 Honey Suckit (asscap); 35th Lady Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t; 3.9 Kara Thrash; .357 Karma Shootya; 29 Mega Bloxx; 42 Midnight Vulture; 989 Sarah Hipel; 55 Tara ToPieces; 499 Young Gunz.
Detroit Pistoffs: 303 Bruisie Siouxxx; 728 Combat Cat; 33.3 Cookie Rumble; 20 Devil Kitty; $ Effin Money; 6 Elle McFearsome; 428 Freakin’ Rican; 82.4 Jenn Ann Tonic; 669 Maim West; 80 Mean Streak; 1821 Mexi-Go (captain); 181 Vega Vendetta; Thunderkiss ’65 Yin.
The Detroit Derby Girls conclude the 2010 home season on Saturday, May 22, with the D-Funk Allstars and the Devil’s Night Dames battling for the Championship. A new champion will be crowned as neither the Funk nor the Dames have yet won a title. Note that the game is at a new venue–the game is at Cobo Arena in downtown Detroit. Doors at 6pm, game at 7pm. More info at http://www.detroitderbygirls.com/.
Posted on April 12, 2010
by Rusty Wheeler
Apr 10, 2010
The D-Funk Allstars continued their winning ways in the 2010 season by grinding out an 86-62 defensive victory over the Detroit Pistoffs on April 10. The Funk led all the way, but never by a comfortable margin, leading by 18 points at halftime (at 39-21) and leading by 11 to 30 points in the 2nd half. Most jams were low scoring. The Funk scored 5 or more points in only 4 of the game’s 44 jams, the Pistoffs scored 5 or more points in only 3 jams. The Funk were shutout in 20 jams, the Pistoffs were blanked in 26 jams. There were only 8 grand slams in the game, 5 of those by the Funk.
D-Funk led 13-0 after 5 jams to start the game, then the Pistoffs cut the lead to 16-14 after the 11th jam of the 1st half. The Funk then slowly built the lead back to 39-21 at the half. The highest scoring jam of the half went to the Pistoff’s Cookie Rumble with an 8-0 win in jam 10. In the 2nd half, the closest the Pistoffs could get was to trail by 42-31 after 3 jams. The Funk led by 30 points at 65-35 after 9 jams, but their lead the rest of the way was around 20 points. The Funk’s Sista Slit’chya had the highest scoring jam of the night, 10-0, in jam 8.
When the wheels stopped turning, D-Funk’s Roxanna Hardplace earned MVP, plus Offensive and Defensive Blocker of the Game awards, racking up 76 total actions (blocks and assists) for the game. Her teammate, Sista Slit’chya, was awarded jammer of the game. Sista had 36 points and a plus/minus rating of +10 as a jammer, just edging out her teammate boo d. livers who had 31 points and a +9 jammer plus/minus. High scorer for the Pistoffs was Cookie Rumble with 24 points and a +5 jammer plus/minus; the Pistoffs most effective blocker was Elle McFearsome with 44 actions.
Detroit Pistoffs: 303 Bruisie Siouxxx; 728 Combat Cat; 33.3 Cookie Rumble; 20 Devil Kitty; $ Effin Money; 6 Elle McFearsome; 428 Freakin’ Rican; 669 Maim West; 80 Mean Streak; 1821 Mexi-Go (captain); 181 Vega Vendetta; Thunderkiss ’65 Yin.
D-Funk Allstars: 313 Black Eyed Skeez; 24/7 boo d. livers; 9 Cat’s Meow; 46 Fatal Femme (captain); Section 8 Ghetto Barbie; 23 Ima Wrecker; 925 Loca Lola; 10/6 The Mad Hatcher; 100% Polly Fester; 3cc Roxanna Hardplace (asscap); CH4 Seoul Slayer; 5” Blade Sista Slit’chya; 813 Tiny Ninja.
The Detroit Derby Girls finish out their 2010 home season with the Grudge Match between the Detroit Pistoffs and the Pistolwhippers to determine 3rd and 4th place on Saturday, April 24, then on Saturday, May 22, the D-Funk Allstars and the Devil’s Night Dames will battle for the Championship. A new champion will be crowned as neither the Funk nor the Dames have yet won a title. The games are at the historic Masonic Temple in downtown Detroit, doors at 6pm, game at 7pm. More info at http://www.detroitderbygirls.com/.
Posted on February 15, 2010
by Rusty Wheeler
Feb 13, 2010
The D-Funk Allstars funked up the Devil’s Night Dames on February 13, totally extinguishing the Dames jammers, en route to a 102-59 victory. D-Funk limited the Dames to just 15 points in the 1st half; the Allstars led 53-15 at the halftime break. The 2nd half was much closer in score, although the Funk still won that half by a 49-44 tally. The Funk had more lead jammers in the opening half, 13-6, and held the Dames scoreless in 13 of the half’s 19 jams. D-Funk played mostly defensively in the half, although they enjoyed two big jams where the Funk’s Ghetto Barbie scored a 10-0 power jam win with the Dames jammer in the penalty box and when Polly Fester reeled off a 14-0 double grand slam win. The Funk got 45% if their 1st-half points in those two jams.
Play was fairly even in the 2nd half. The Dames had a slight edge in lead jammers, 9-8, but could never get any closer than 30 points behind in the half. The offensive highlight of the game for the Dames came when Formosa Fury scored a 10-0 double grand slam power jam win in jam 9. The D-Funk kept their jammers out of penalty trouble in the half, though, only losing two jammers to the box, and only allowing 12 points against by way of power jams, so the Dames were never able to catch up.
I had expected this game to be a shootout between the two star jammers, Racer McChaseHer for the Dames and Sista Slit’chya for the Funk; surprisingly, Racer only scored 21 points while jamming only 8 times, and Sista scored a mere 25 points in 10 jams. Formosa Fury was the only other Dames jammer to score in double-digits, and she had 16 points. The Funk were bolstered by Ghetto Barbie with 21 points, boo d. livers with 18, and Polly Fester with 17 pts. D-Funk’s Black Eyed Skeez also scored 6 points as a pivot when Roxanna Hardplace passed her the star in the 2nd half.
Several skaters had outstanding blocking efforts. For the Funk, Roxanna Hardplace led the way with a total of 46 actions (blocks, assists, and knockdowns). Her teammates Black Eyed Skeez had 35 actions, Fatal Femme had 30 (and was named game MVP), and Polly Fester had 25 actions. For the Dames, it seemed Racer McChaseHer was concentrating more on blocking than jamming as Racer had a fine total of 38 actions to lead her team. The Dames’ Vicious Vixen had 35 actions, Rock Candy had 31, Spanish Ass’assin and Summers Eve-L each had 23, and Whiskey Soured had 22 actions, including a game-high 10 knockdowns.
D-Funk Allstars: 313 Black Eyed Skeez; 24/7 boo d. livers; 9 Cat’s Meow; 102 Eight Mile Rose; 46 Fatal Femme (captain); Section 8 Ghetto Barbie; 45 rpm Holly Hitsville; 23 Ima Wrecker; 925 Loca Lola; 10/6 The Mad Hatcher; 100% Polly Fester; 3cc Roxanna Hardplace (asscap); CH4 Seoul Slayer; 5” Blade Sista Slit’chya; 813 Tiny Ninja; Crazy88 Zooma Thurman.
Devil’s Night Dames: U-235 Ann Atomic; .40 cal Betty Beretta; 724 Dizzy Devine; 886 Formosa Fury; tat2 Inky Gash; 187 Lady MacDeath; 9mm Muffy Mafioso; 2.8 Racer McChaseHer; 10¢ Rock Candy; .223 Spanish Ass’assin; 68 Summers Eve-L; ? Tess Tackles; -0 Vicious Vixen (captain); 31 Whiskey Soured (asscap); 17 Yo-Yo.
MVP – Fatal Femme (D-Funk)
Jammer of the Game – Ghetto Barbie (D-Funk)
Offensive Blocker of the Game – Roxanna Hardplace (D-Funk)
Defensive Blocker of the Game – Racer McChaseHer (Dames)
The Detroit Derby Girls next intraleague game is Saturday, March 13, with last year’s defending champs the Pistolwhippers entertaining the Devil’s Night Dames. The game is at the historic Masonic Temple in downtown Detroit, doors at 6pm, game at 7pm. More info at http://www.detroitderbygirls.com.
Posted on December 14, 2009
by Rusty Wheeler
Dec 12, 2009
Detroit derby fans were treated to a highly entertaining, back-and-forth derby match until finally, the Devil’s Night Dames “reignited the flame” and outlasted the Detroit Pistoffs, 122-115. The Dames led by as much as 17 points early in each half, while the Pistoffs claimed a 13 point lead late in the 1st half. Racer McChaseHer (Dames) and Cookie Rumble (Pistoffs) were named co-MVPs of the game. Racer, who scored 60 points and delivered 7 grand slams, was also a plus 47 as a jammer and plus 54 overall. She also contributed 20 “actions” (assists and blocks) along the way. Cookie led her team with 42 points, scoring 6 grand slams of her own, and was a plus 36 as a jammer and plus 41 overall. She also led the Pistoffs defense with 26 actions.
The Pistoffs led 70-65 at halftime, but then both teams got defensive in the 2nd half. Most of the 2nd half scoring occurred in the first 8 jams. Then in the final 12 jams of the half, the Dames scored 12 points to the Pistoffs 7 points. Six of those jams were 0-0 deadlocks. After the Dames regained the lead for good in jam 6, on the strength of Racer McChaseHer’s 19-0 jam, they turned up the defense the rest of the way. Altogether, the Dames outscored the Pistoffs 57-45 in the 2nd half, en route to their victory.
There were some high-scoring jams in this game, though Effin’ Money and Cookie Rumble each had 20-0 jams for the Pistoffs. Racer McChaseHer had her aforementioned 19-0 jam as well as another 15-0 jam, and teammate Muffy Mafioso chipped in with a 13-0 jam of her own.
Coming into this game, the Pistoffs were 5-1 lifetime vs. the Dames, including victories in the 2008 DDG Championship game and the 2009 DDG consolation game. This victory augurs well for the Dames, as they tend to either go winless in a season, or make it to the league championship.
Detroit Pistoffs: 754 Anne T. Orthodox; 303 Bruisie Siouxxx; 728 Combat Cat; 33-1/3 Cookie Rumble; 20 Devil Kitty; $ Effin’ Money; 6 Elle McFearsome; 428 Freakin’ Rican; 2012 Goodnight Gracie; 82.4 proof Jenn Ann Tonic; 669 Maim West; 80 Mean Streak; 1821 Mexi-Go (captain); 181 Vega Vendetta; 213 Violet-N-Deed (asscap); Thunderkiss ’65 Yin. Managers: Butz; Wanda Throwdown.
Devil’s Night Dames: .40 cal Betty Beretta; 724 Dizzy Devine; 886 Formosa Fury; tat2 Inky Gash; 187 Lady MacDeath; 9mm Muffy Mafioso; 2.8 Racer McChaseHer; 1337 Riot Nrrrd; 10¢ Rock Candy; .223 Spanish Ass’assin; 68 Summers Eve-L; ? (infinity) Tess Tackles; – 0 Vicious Vixen; 31 Whiskey Soured; 17 Yo-Yo. Managers: Candy Man; Uncle Bodybagz.
The Pistoffs started Elle McFearsome at pivot, Mexi-Go, Freakin’ Rican, and Violet-N-Deed at blocker, and Effin’ Money at jammer. The Dames countered with pivot Whiskey Soured, blockers Summers Eve-L, Rock Candy, and Vicious Vixen, and jammer Racer McChaseHer, and it was Racer winning the jam 3-1. The Dames Yo-Yo squared off against Cookie Rumble in jam 2, and it was a 4-4 draw. Muffy Mafioso added a 3-0 win for the Dames in jam 3, and the Dames were off to a quick 10-5 lead. Formosa Fury got lead for the Dames in jam 4, but Effin’ Money eked out a 3-2 win for the Pistoffs. Combat Cat then tied the score at 12-12 with a 4-0 win for the Pistoffs in jam 5.
Yo-Yo edged the Dames back out in front in jam 6 with a 3-0 win, then Muffy Mafioso scored a double grand slam 10-0 win for the Dames in jam 7, jumping their lead to 25-12. Racer McChaseHer and Combat Cat managed a 2-2 tie next, followed by a 4-0 win for Formosa Fury in jam 9. Effin’ Money got those last four points back for the Pistoffs with a 4-0 win in jam 10. It was 31-18 for the Dames.
Vega Vendetta got the first big jam for the Pistoffs in jam 11, getting two slams in a 10-0 win. Vega took advantage of the Dames jammer, Yo-Yo, getting sent to the box for a major track cut. That cut the Dames lead to 31-28. Goodnight Gracie followed that up with a 9-3 (including a slam) win over Muffy Mafioso, and the Pistoffs were on top, 37-34. That lead didn’t last long as on the very next jam Formosa Fury rang up a 4-0 win, restoring the Dames lead at 38-37.
Racer McChaseHer then ripped off a 15-0 triple grand slam win in jam 14 to extend the Dames lead to 53-37. Her blockers, Whiskey Soured, Summers Eve-L, Rock Candy, and Vicious Vixen (derby veterans all), contained Pistoffs jammer Vega Vendetta within the pack for the entire jam with some excellent blocking. While Summers started that jam in the box, the Pistoffs had three blockers, Elle McFearsome, Combat Cat, and Bruisie Siouxxx, all spend time in the box during that jam as well.
The Pistoffs proved their resiliency in jams 15 and 16 with Cookie Rumble and Effin’ Money skating to 4-0 and 20-0 wins, respectively. Effin’ had four grand slams in the jam, aided by Dames jammer Yo-Yo going to the penalty box twice, as well as Dames blockers Rock Candy and Spanish Ass’assin each getting sent off once. That jumped the Pistoffs from being down by 16 points to leading by 8. Elle McFearsome then took advantage of a still boxed Yo-Yo by notching a 5-0 slam win for the Pistoffs in jam 17, giving her squad a 66-53 lead, the largest margin they were to lead by for the evening.
The Dames chopped into the Pistoffs lead in the final two jams of the half. Racer McChaseHer got another slam in a 9-3 win over Goodnight Gracie in jam 18, then Muffy Mafioso edged Effin’ Money 3-1 to close out the half with the Pistoffs in front, 70-65.
The Dames had the edge in lead jammers in the half, 11-8, although the Pistoffs scored more grand slams, 8-6. The Dames lost 12 skaters to the sin bin in the half (only two jammers), while the Pistoffs had 15 skaters sent off, although no jammers were amongst those penalized. Pack play was fairly even. The Pistoffs blockers generated 58 actions (blocks & assists), while the Dames blockers contributed 53 actions.
Racer McChaseHer further cut into the Pistoffs lead by opening the 2nd half with a 6-3 victory over Effin’ Money. Effin’ got a minor for cutting the track, then was sent to the box for a major back block. The Pistoffs defense of Elle McFearsome, Mexi-Go, Freakin’ Rican, and Vega Vendetta did well to limit the damage. Formosa Fury then put the Dames back on top, 75-73, with a 4-0 win in jam 2. Dizzy Devine helped the Dames cause with a 3-0 win in jam 3 to stretch the Dames lead to 78-73.
The next several jams were the wildest of the game. Muffy Mafioso got a big 13-0 double slam win in jam 4, and the Dames led by 91-73, their largest lead of the night. Then Cookie Rumble came right back with a 20-0, quadruple grand slam power jam, and the Pistoffs were back in front, 93-91. Then it was Racer’s turn again as she racked up a 19-0 jam for the Dames. The Pistoffs had two blockers in the box at times during the jam, but the Dames also had three skaters in the box at times. But the Dames lead was restored at 110-93. Cookie came right back with another 10-0 double slam win for the Pistoffs in jam 7, cutting the Dames lead to 110-103, then in jam 8 Vega Vendetta got a 5-0 slam win for the Pistoffs, cutting the lead to 110-108.
Muffy Mafioso took a 4-0 win for the Dames in jam 9, helped by Pistoffs jammer Combat Cat going to the box for a 4th minor. That put the Dames up by 114-108, and then the game went into total defense mode. Yo-Yo got a 1-0 win for the Dames in jam 10, then her teammate Dizzy Devine skated to a 1-1 tie with Vega Vendetta in jam 11. Jam 12 was scoreless. Racer McChaseHer worked her way to a 4-0 win in jam 13, then jams 14 through 16 were scoreless. The Dames benefited from the Pistoffs would-be jammer, Combat Cat, getting sent off the track at the start of jam 16 because she was too late getting on the track. In spite of that, the Dames couldn’t score in that jam due to excellent D put up by Pistoffs blockers Bruisie Siouxxx, Elle McFearsome, Cookie Rumble, and Effin’ Money. It was still the Dames leading, but only by 120-109.
Vega Vendetta got a 2-0 win for the Pistoffs in jam 17, cutting the lead to 120-111. Then the final three jams of the night were the Cookie vs. Racer show, as those two skaters jammed for their respective teams in each of those jams. Racer got lead jammer in jam 18, slowed down, keeping Cookie behind her, then called off the jam. Then the Dames called their last time-out in order to rest Racer so as to get her out there for one last jam. Of course, that meant the Pistoffs also got to rest Cookie.
Then in that jam 19, Racer got sent to the box, but recovered in time so that Cookie was only able to win the jam 4-2, cutting the lead to 122-115. As time was winding down in that jam, it appeared that it just might be the final jam of the night. But no! Dames pivot skater, Whiskey Soured, fell heavily in the middle of the track, and was definitely shaken up, so the referees called off the jam for an injury time-out with 21 seconds remaining on the game clock. That left time for yet one more jam. In somewhat of an anti-climax, Racer grabbed lead, and just as the game clock ticked down to 0:00 she called the jam off, securing the Dames hard-fought win over the Pistoffs, 122-115.
In the 2nd half, the Dames managed to outscore the Pistoffs 57-45 to overcome the Pistoffs 5-point halftime lead. Thirty-five of the Pistoffs points came in only 3 jams, meaning they only scored 10 points in the other 17 jams of the half. The Pistoffs were shut-out in 13 of the half’s 20 jams, and the Dames were goose-egged in 10 jams. The Dames once again had more lead jammers, 11-7, and once again the Pistoffs had more grand slams, 7-5. Eleven Pistoffs skaters went to the penalty box, while the Dames lost 13 skaters to the box. Each team lost two jammers to the box. Pistoffs blockers tabulated 43 actions to 38 for the Dames in the 2nd half.
Experience really counted in this game, as it was each team mostly playing their high-experience players, and those same players thus gathered most of the stats generated on the night. Of the games 39 total jams, the Pistoffs skated Cookie Rumble and Elle McFearsome in 24 jams each, then Bruisie Siouxxx in 21 jams, Mexi-Go in 20, and Vega Vendetta in 16 jams. The Dames top five most-used skaters were Summers Eve-L (28 jams), Whiskey Soured (26), Rock Candy (25), Vicious Vixen (24), and Racer McChaseHer in 23 jams. Each team did also get some experience for their rookies. Perhaps if the game had turned into a blow-out for either team the newer skaters would have seen more track time.
The game featured a high-scoring 1st half, followed by a mostly defensive 2nd-half, so there was something for fans of each style of play. Most Detroit derby matches in the past have featured all-out fast packs, but there was more of slow, really slow packs in this game at times, although they never quite played the “stop” game that was evidenced at the recent WFTDA National Championship tourney.
Returning to her “phenom” days, the Dames Racer McChaseHer led all scorers with 60 points while jamming 10 times with 8 leads and 7 grand slams. Other Dames jammers were: Muffy Mafioso (36 points, 8 jams, 6 leads, 4 slams); Formosa Fury (14 pts, 4 jams, 4 leads); Yo-Yo (8 pts, 9 jams, 3 leads); Dizzy Devine (4 pts, 7 jams, 1 lead); Inky Gash (0 pts, 1 jam).
Cookie Rumble led the way for the Pistoffs with 42 points in 8 jams with 5 leads and 6 grand slams. Also contributing for the Pistoffs: Effin’ Money (32 pts, 10 jams, 2 leads, 4 slams); Vega Vendetta (18 pts, 10 jams, 4 leads, 3 slams); Goodnight Gracie (12 pts, 4 jams, 1 lead, 1 slam); Combat Cat (6 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads); Elle McFearsome (5 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead, 1 slam).
Leading all defenders was the Dames Vicious Vixen with 27 actions, including 3 knockdowns. The rest of the Dames defense was led by Racer McChaseHer (20 actions, also with 3 KDs), Summers Eve-L (14) and Rock Candy (13 actions).
The Pistoffs were led by Cookie Rumble with 26 actions, followed by Elle McFearsome (22), Bruisie Siouxxx (19), and Combat Cat with 19 actions (including 3 KDs).
Racer McChaseHer led the plus/minus ratings with an overall plus 54 (plus 47 as a jammer). She was followed by teammates Rock Candy with plus 35, Muffy Mafioso with plus 29, and Vicious Vixen and Whiskey Soured each with plus 17.
Cookie Rumble led the Pistoffs defense with a plus 41 overall (plus 36 as a jammer), followed by Maim West (plus 40), Bruisie Siouxxx (plus 21) and Anne T. Orthodox and Devil Kitty each with plus 15.
The Detroit Derby Girls return to action on Saturday, January 9, when it’s the Pistolwhippers up against the Detroit Pistoffs. Each team is 0-1 this season, and 2-2 lifetime versus each other. The loser will be effectively eliminated from championship contention this season, so the game is sure to be fought down to the last ball bearing! The game is at the Masonic Temple in downtown Detroit, doors at 6pm, game at 7pm. More info at http://www.detroitderbygirls.com/.
Posted on December 4, 2009
by Rusty Wheeler
Nov 28, 2009
The 7th time was the charm for the D-Funk Allstars as they finally defeated their nemesisters, the Pistolwhippers, 175 to 69. The ‘Whippers had won the first six games by an average margin of victory of 13 points in each game; the D-Funkers got their payback in this game, winning by 106 points. In three of the previous meetings between these two squads, the Pistolwhippers had broken the hearts of the “Green Machine” by winning on the very last jam of the game (one of those games in overtime). This time, though, the D-Funk didn’t leave a chance of a late ‘Whippers victory, as last year’s 2nd place team jumped out to a 23-0 lead after 5 jams, and led 92-25 at halftime.
Coming into this game, the Pistolwhippers were 6-0 versus the D-Funk, but only 4-4 overall against the other two Detroit Derby Girls teams. The D-Funk were 4-3 versus the other two teams in the league, but 0-6 against the Pistolwhippers. The Pistolwhippers are the reigning DDG Champions (2009, undefeated) and have garnered three trips to the big show and two victories (in 2007 also) in the league’s four year history.
D-Funk All Stars: 313 Black Eyed Skeez; 24/7 boo d. livers; 9 Cat’s Meow; 46 Fatal Femme (captain); Section 8 Ghetto Barbie; 45 rpm Holly Hitsville; 23 Ima Wrecker; 925 Loca Lola; 10/6 The Mad Hatcher; 100% Polly Fester; 3cc Roxanna Hardplace (ass cap); CH4 Seoul Slayer; 5″ Blade Sista Slit’chya; 813 Tinja; Crazy88 Zooma Thurman.
PistolWhippers: 27 A.O. Lesgo; 44 Bytch Ryder (captain); MC5 Cassie Corridor; 01 Cold Fusion; N2O Cool Whip; 76 Del Bomber; I-75 Diesel Doll; 11 Elle Iminator; 1974 Honey Suckit (ass cap); 35th Lady Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t; 3.9 Kara Thrash; .357 Karma Shoot’Ya; 29 Mega Bloxx; 42 Midnight Vulture; 989 Sarah Hipel.
The D-Funk came on strong right out of the gate. They opened with their top jammer, Sista Slit’chya (Jammer of the Game), who tallied a 4-0 jam. That was followed up by Polly Fester’s 10-0 double grand slam in jam 2. Sista topped her maroon-clad opponents 3-0 and 2-0 in jams 3 and 5, sandwiched around boo d. livers 4-0 run in jam 4. It was 23-0 for the D-Funk. Where D-Funk jammed their star jammer Sista Slit’chya three times in those first five jams, the ‘Whippers elected to jam skaters historically known for their blocking in the first four jams, waiting until jam 5 to place the star on Sarah Hipel (2008 Jammer of the Year), one of their best.
After a scoreless jam 6, Hipel finally got the Whippers on the board with a 6-0 grand slam run in jam 7. That momentarily cut the D-Funk lead to 23-6, but after a scoreless eighth jam, the Funk came right back with a 14-0 jam. boo d. livers scored all 14 of the D-Funk points before passing the star to her pivot skater, Fatal Femme, whose time was cut short by the whistle. Jam 10 was a 2-2 deadlock between Sista Slit’chya and Honey Suckit, making the score 39-8 for the D-Funk after ten. Honey’s points marked only the 2nd jam of 10 where the ‘Whippers could score.
The Whippers did score 17 more points in the last eight jams of the opening half, while getting shut out by the machine-like defense of the D-Funk five times. Diesel Doll put up the best effort of the 1st half for the ‘Whippers by scoring 9 points in jam 13, and earning a grand slam along the way. Honey Suckit and Sarah Hipel each scored 4 more points in those last eight jams.
But while the ‘Whippers were scoring their 17 points, the D-Funk posted 53 more of their own. They were shut out in half of those jams, but they posted a 14-0 run (with two slams) in jam 11 by Sista Slit’chya, followed by a superb 25 point jam! The ‘Whippers two blockers (Bytch Ryder and Cold Fusion) and their jammer (Cool Whip) were sent to the penalty box during that jam, and the D-Funk played a smart slow game allowing Sista to rack up 5 power-jam grand slams. Tinja chipped in with a 9 point jam, and boo d. livers closed out the half with a grand slam. At the half it was 92-25 for the D-Funk, and it seemed the crowd was a little stunned as most folks were figuring this would be another close game, as history would have led us to believe.
In the 1st half’s 18 jams, D-Funk held an edge of 10-7 in lead jammers, but posted 13 grand slams to only 2 for the Pistolwhippers. Overall, the ‘Whippers lost jammers to the box four times, while the D-Funk Allstars only had one jammer boxed for a minute.
D-Funk’s Roxanna Hardplace led all blockers with a combined 16 Actions in the first half, 11 Attacks (or defensive maneuvers) and 5 offensive Assists. Her teammates Black Eyed Skeez had 11 Actions, and Fatal Femme had 8. The Pistolwhippers were led defensively by Del Bomber and Sarah Hipel with 9 actions, followed by Bytch Ryder with 8. The Whippers did not record any offensive actions in the half.
Honey Suckit won the opening jam of the 2nd half for the ‘Whippers over Roxanna Hardplace, but only by a 5-4 margin. Diesel Doll took the 2nd jam 2-0 for the ‘Whippers, but then D-Funk got a 15-0 jam. boo d. livers scored a 5-0 grand slam, then passed the star to her pivot, Polly Fester, who went on to score two more slams for another 10 points. Ghetto Barbie added another 9 points for the Funk in jam 4 (with a slam), but Sarah Hipel was able to get 4 points back for the ‘Whippers in that jam after the star was passed to her from sophomore jammer Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t. It was 120-36 in favor of the Funk.
Honey Suckit eked out a 1-0 jam for the Whippers in jam 5, even with Sista Slit’chya in possession of lead status. Honey snuck by and got the point just before Sista could call the jam. But then D-Funk came right back with 4-0 and 5-0 jams by boo d. livers and Black Eyed Skeez. Sista got lead in jam 8, but Sarah Hipel put up 9 points to her 2 after Sista was sent to the sin bin. Sista Slit’chya came back strong with a 14-2 jam 9 when the Whippers jammer, Honey Suckit, took a turn in the box. After a scoreless jam 10, it was D-Funk leading 145-48.
The Funk remained in control the rest of the way with a 9-0 jam by Black Eyed Skeez, a 9-0 by pivot Sista Slit’chya after taking a star pass from boo d. livers. Sista had a 4-1 jam over Diesel Doll, boo took jam 16 with 3 points to a ‘Whippers goose egg, and Polly Fester closed out the scoring for the D-Funk Allstars with a 5-0 slam. Sarah Hipel put up 2 for the Whippers in jam 14, then she closed out the game in jam 19 with a 14-0 jam with two grand slams to leave the final score at 175 to 69 for the D-Funk Allstars.
The D-Funk once again had an edge in lead jammers, this time 11-6, and outscored the ‘Whippers by 83-44 in the final half. D-Funk also had the edge in grand slams, 10 to 3. As far as can be determined, the ‘Whippers lost the only jammer to the box in the final half. Although the score was lopsided, there was still some hard hitting going on in the half. The ‘Whippers had two excellent defensive efforts by Elle Iminator (Defensive Player of the Game) with 19 defensive blocks and Del Bomber with 15 blocks. Their teammates Cool Whip and Karma Shootya chipped in with 6 defensive blocks each in the half. Fatal Femme led the D-Funk 2nd half defense with 5 defensive blocks, also contributing 3 assists.
The D-Funk Allstars took out some serious built-up frustration on the Pistolwhippers on Saturday night, winning for the first time versus the ‘Whippers in their history, as was mentioned above. The Funk featured solid blocking from every one of their skaters who laced up skates, their jammers skated determinedly, and they were not to be denied on this night. Strong defensive performances went all the way down the bench for the returning skaters including a strong sophomore support performance by Zooma Thurman (Offensive Player of the Game) who earned a 5.86 +/- average (2nd in league behind teammate Seoul Slayer), 5 assists in 7 jams (a stunning 0.7 per jam average), a crowd-rousing double offensive block, and a league-leading pair of offensive knockdowns. This game, as is the usual Detroit tradition to open a new season, was a rematch of the Championship game from 2009. The D-Funk showed in this game they are a force to reckon with for this new season, but don’t count out the Pistolwhippers just yet!
Last season, the Pistolwhippers set an all-time defensive record for the DDG, allowing an average of only 68 points per game (edging the Detroit Pistoffs previous record of an average of 69 points allowed per game in the 2008 season), although they will now have a tough time approaching that level in defense this season after allowing 175 points. The Pistolwhippers are now 10-5 overall and the D-Funk Allstars are now 5-9. In spite of their losing record, the D-Funk still average outscoring their opponents 105 to102 in all of their games since 2006 with a couple huge wins, and a series of tight losses.
As is becoming her habit, the D-Funk’s Sista Slit’chya led all jammers with 68 points in 11 jams with 8 leads and 9 grand slams. Other Funk jammers were: boo d. livers (35 pts, 11 jams, 7 leads, 4 slams); Polly Fester (25 pts [10 as a pivot], 2 jams, 2 leads, 5 slams); Roxanna Hardplace (15 pts [9 as a pivot], 3 jams, 1 lead, 1 slam); Black Eyed Skeez (14 pts, 2 jams, 2 leads, 2 slams); Tinja (9 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead, 1 slam); Ghetto Barbie (9 pts, 2 jams, 1 slam); Cat’s Meow (0 pts, 1 jam); Fatal Femme (0 pts, 1 jam); Ima Wrecker (0 pts, 2 jams).
Overshadowed in the Pistolwhippers loss was a fine jamming performance by Sarah Hipel who scored 43 points (4 as a pivot) in 11 jams with 6 leads and 4 grand slams. Only two other Whippers managed to score: Honey Suckit (14 pts, 8 jams, 4 leads); Diesel Doll (12 pts, 6 jams, 2 leads, 1 slam). Other jammers were: Cool Whip (0 pts, 1 jam); Elle Iminator (0 pts, 2 jams); A.O. Lesgo (0 pts, 3 jams); Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t (0 pts, 6 jams, 1 lead).
The Pistolwhippers Elle Iminator and Del Bomber turned in the strongest defensive performances with 26 and 24 total actions, respectively. Other teammates were Cool Whip (12 total actions), Sarah Hipel (11), and Bytch Ryder, Cassie Corridor, and Cold Fusion, each with 10 actions.
Roxanna Hardplace led the D-Funk defense with 20 total actions. She was followed by Fatal Femme (17), Black Eyed Skeez (15), Cat’s Meow (9), Polly Fester, and Zooma Thurman.
D-Funk’s Polly Fester led the overall plus/minus rating with a plus 78, followed closely by teammates Cat’s Meow (+73) and Sista Slit’chya (+72). For the Pistolwhippers, Sarah Hipel turned in an excellent plus/minus effort, tallying a minus 4 overall (although plus 27 as a jammer) while skating in about half of her team’s jams, all in spite of her team losing by 106 points. Another good effort was by the Whippers Diesel Doll, only a minus 6 while skating in 12 jams. It should be mentioned that the Whippers Kara Thrash did record a plus 6 overall, skating in only three jams.
The Detroit Derby Girls continue their home season on Saturday, December 12, featuring a rematch of last season’s grudge match game for 3rd place between the Detroit Pistoffs and the Devil’s Night Dames. The game is at the Masonic Temple in downtown Detroit, doors at 6pm, game at 7pm. More info at detroitderbygirls.com.
Posted on June 6, 2009
by Rusty Wheeler
May 30, 2009
The Pistolwhippers cruised to an easy 39 point lead at halftime over the D-Funk Allstars, then the Allstars chipped away at that lead in the 2nd half, finally taking the lead 83-82 in the penultimate jam when Polly Fester scored a 9-0 grand slam jam win. But then Sarah Hipel came right back in the game’s final jam with one of her patented “Killbox” moments with a 4-0 jam win for the Whippers, thus winning the game 86-83 and allowing the Pistolwhippers to take home the Detroit Derby Girls “Olive” trophy for the 2nd time in their history.
The Pistolwhippers were last league champs in 2007 when they defeated the Devil’s Night Dames 96-82 in the championship game. The Whippers were runners-up in 2006, losing to the Detroit Pistoffs 121-113 in the title game. The Whippers and Pistoffs have now each won two DDG titles. The Whippers also now own the best lifetime record of the four DDG teams with a 10-4 won-lost mark. The Whippers also are the highest scoring team in the DDG, scoring an average of 109 points per game over their 14 total games. The Whippers also set a new season defensive record, only allowing their 2009 season opponents 68 points per game, eclipsing the old defensive record of 69 points allowed per game by the 2008 Detroit Pistoffs.
This was the first time the D-Funk Allstars battled for the DDG championship, and they made a fine showing. The Allstars were hampered by the loss of hard-nosed blocker Roxanna Hardplace who had broken her collarbone in a recent DDG travel team game versus Grand Raggidy. Also, former D-Funk captain Black Eyed Skeez took a hard fall in pre-game warmups, although if she was skating at less than full capacity it didn’t show as she had a typical good blocking game. In any event, the Allstars still hold the single-season scoring record when they scored an average of 130 points per game in the 2006 season (they also scored 122 points/game in 2007). Although the D-Funk are now 4-9 lifetime, they appear headed up after playing for the championship.
This game was the last DDG game to be played under WFTDA 3.1 rules.
The Pistolwhippers opened the game with captain Del Bomber at pivot, Sarah Hipel, Bytch Ryder, Kat Von D’Stroya as blockers, and Honey Suckit at jammer. The D-Funk lined up Polly Fester at pivot, blockers Black Eyed Skeez, Tiny Ninja (aka “Tinja”), and captain Fatal Femme, with jammer boo d. livers. boo d. livers got lead jammer, but on her scoring pass she got tangled up with some teammates in the back of the pack and fell down. That allowed Honey Suckit to pass, so boo called the jam off and the score remained 0-0. Black Eyed Skeez fell heavily in that pileup, and was a little slow to get up, although she skated well in the balance of the game.
Sarah Hipel got lead in jam 2, then evaded a would-be big hit from D-Funk’s Ghetto Barbie en route to a 4-0 jam win. Jam 3 was an 8-8 affair. The Funk’s boo d. livers had lead, then she played a little cat-and-mouse with Whippers’ jammer Kat Von D’Stroya. Kat then passed boo and entered the pack to score, but boo didn’t call it off. Each jammer got 4 points, then came around a second time for another 4 points each. Polly Fester got lead for D-Funk in jam 4, but couldn’t shake Honey Suckit, so called it without scoring. It was 12-8 for the Whippers after four jams.
In jam 5, D-Funk’s Sista Slit’chya was spun around in the pack, then got a fortuitous whip from Ghetto Barbie and thus became lead jammer. She called the jam after scoring just 1 point, though, as she had Sarah Hipel hard on her heels. In jam 6, D-Funk’s Black Eyed Skeez floored Kat Von D’Stroya, allowing boo d. livers to grab lead and go on to a 4-0 jam win, temporarily putting D-Funk in the lead at 13-12.
D-Funk’s Ima Wrecker fought her way through to emerge first from the pack in jam 7, but then became the game’s first jammer to get sent to the box for cutting the track. Honey Suckit then claimed lead for the Whippers and went on to an 8-0 grand slam jam win to restore the lead in the Whippers favor at 20-13. Honey’s second scoring pass was terminated prematurely when she was decked by Polly Fester to a notable crowd reaction. Ima started jam 8 in the box, but Whipper Kat Von D’Stroya couldn’t get by the effective tandem of Fatal Femme and Tinja, then got knocked down by Cat’s Meow. Kat did recover, did finally get the lead the next time around, but called the jam before anyone scored.
Honey Suckit got lead jammer in jam 9, but couldn’t shake boo d. livers. Honey called the jam after outscoring boo 4-3. boo also got belted to the floor by Del Bomber just after the whistle that ended the jam. Kat Von D’Stroya got lead in jam 10, and D-Funk’s Sista Slit’chya got trapped in the pack. Sarah Hipel put a hard shoulder into Sista, who sailed into the infield and was then banished to the box for cutting the track. DF’s Black Eyed Skeez also fended off a hard block from Hipel, but Skeez got sent to the box. At jam’s end, Kat had rang up a 10-0 double grand slam win, stretching the Whippers lead to 34-16. D-Funk called time out to try and get organized.
D-Funk jammer Sista Slit’chya started jam 11 in the box. That allowed Sarah Hipel to lap her, although Sarah only won the jam 4-0. Kat Von D’Stroya got lead in jam 12 but couldn’t shake boo d. livers, so called it with no score. Del Bomber donned the star for the Whippers in jam 13, gaining lead when she slammed on the brakes to avoid an intended block from Black Eyed Skeez; however, Polly Fester passed Del and got a 2-1 jam win which forced Del to call it off. Sarah Hipel got the lead and another 3-0 win for the Whippers in jam 14. As was typical of many of the contest’s jams, Sarah’s teammates slowed the pack which put the last D-Funk blocker, Ghetto Barbie, out of play, thus giving Sarah an easy pass-by. Both teams employed that strategy throughout the game. It was 42-18 for the Whippers, with D-Funk employing another time out.
Kat Von D’Stroya won jam 15 for the Whippers 4-1 over boo d. livers. There was some particularly good team blocking by the Whippers in this jam when Bytch Ryder slowed boo, then Del came in from the side to blast boo in pure textbook style (if there was a derby blocking textbook!). The Whippers then went on to outscore the Allstars 15-0 in the next five jams, thus stretching their lead to 61-19. Jam 16 was 3-0 for Honey Suckit, jam 17 went 4-0 for Sarah Hipel, jam 18 was scoreless, jam 19 went to Honey Suckit 4-0, then jam 20 was 4-0 for Hipel again. Bytch Ryder got a major penalty for out of play blocking on boo in jam 18. boo also had lead in jam 18 and was initially credited with scoring 4 points, but the Pistolwhippers challenged the score and then the points were taken away from boo and the Allstars.
D-Funk tried to battle back late in the 1st half. boo d. livers won jam 21 by 3-0, and Polly Fester won jam 22 by 4-0. That cut the Whippers lead to 61-26, but then Kat Von D’Stroya finished off the half with a 4-0 win for the Whippers, making the halftime score 65-26.
In the first half, the Whippers had 15 lead jammers to 8 for the D-Funk, including 11 leads in a row in the middle of the half in which the Whippers outscored their foes 41-6. D-Funkers Fatal Femme, Black Eyed Skeez, and Tinja had 26, 19, and 15 blocks (respectively) in that 1st half, while Bytch Ryder, Cassie Corridor, Cold Fusion, Del Bomber, and Elle Iminator were at the top of the blocking stats for the Whippers. The Whippers scored 3 grand slams in the half to none for the D-Funk. D-Funk were shut out in 15 of the half’s 23 jams, while the Whippers couldn’t score in 9 of the jams.
At halftime, some folks were expressing disappointment. They figured the game would be close all the way, but it was looking like a romp for the Pistolwhippers.
The Whippers started pivot Del Bomber, blockers Bytch Ryder and Kat Von D’Stroya, and jammer Honey Suckit to start the 2nd half. D-Funk countered with blockers Tinja, Black Eyed Skeez, Polly Fester, and jammer boo d. livers. The Whippers Sarah Hipel (blocker) and the Allstars Fatal Femme (pivot) were both in the penalty box. boo d. livers for lead jammer, but Honey Suckit won the jam 1-0. The Whippers also won jam 2 by 1-0 courtesy of Sarah Hipel. Jam 3 was scoreless. Sarah zoomed through the pack to get lead, although she had to put a nice juke on Tinja to accomplish that feat. When Sarah came around to score, she was decked by Black Eyed Skeez, and before Sarah could call the jam, Polly Fester snuck around and got a 2-0 win for the Funkers. It was 67-28 for the Whippers.
The D-Funk got their big break to start to get back into the game in jam 5. The Whippers started the jam with 2 blockers in the penalty box, and they sent Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t to the jammer line, jamming for her first time in the game. D-Funk countered with Sista Slit’chya, although Sista had only scored 1 point so far in the game in 9 previous jams. Sista got lead when the Whippers Bytch Ryder was out of play blocking, then Jackie was knocked down by Fatal Femme and got trapped in the pack. Sista scored a couple of grand slams by lapping everyone, had to shake off another out of play block by Bytch, then went on to a third grand slam when Cat’s Meow took a turn at knocking down Jackie. It was a magnificent 15-0 jam win for the D-Funkers that cut the Whippers lead from 39 to 24 points at 67-43, breathing new hope into the Allstars.
Sarah Hipel came back with a 3-0 win in jam 6 for the Whippers. Whipper Cassie Corridor did a nice job containing boo d. livers in the pack. Eventually Black Eyed Skeez placed a nice offensive block on the person of Cassie and freed boo, but it was too late in the jam to matter. Polly Fester got lead for the Funk in jam 7, but had Honey Suckit right with her. It looked like a tactical error when Polly didn’t call off the jam when Honey passed her and started scoring. Honey did get 4 points, then got trapped back in the pack. In the meantime, Polly also got 4 points, but was able to escape the pack and come around for another scoring pass of 5 points as Honey was still trapped, thus winning the jam 9-4 with a slam. Overall, that jam was wild. At one point, the Whippers Del Bomber got sent to the box and overshot the box and turned and skated the wrong way back to the box, and of course that is a big no-no. That 15-0 jam cut the Whippers lead to 22 points at 74-52, triggering a time out called by the Pistolwhippers.
Jam 8 was scoreless. Sarah Hipel got lead for the Whippers, but was passed by Sista Slit’chya and so called off the jam. Both jammers took some hard shots (as in hard hits, not hard liquor) in the pack. The Allstars then put on a burst of scoring in the next three jams. Jam 9 was won by boo d. livers 3-0 over Hipel. boo got the lead, then Hipel got in front of boo and seemed to be mostly interested in just wasting time and blocking. But the pack slowed even more and both jammers approached the back of the pack. boo passed Hipel, then Hipel elbowed boo down from behind, getting a major penalty for her efforts. boo got her 3 quick points and just as quickly called the jam so to have as much time as possible in the next jam without a Pistolwhipper jammer on the track.
Polly Fester got her 2nd grand slam of the game with a 5-0 win in jam 10, aided by the Whippers jammer, Sarah Hipel, starting the jam in the penalty box. That cut the Whippers lead to 74-60. Sista Slit’chya got lead jammer in jam 11 and the D-Funk fans were going wild. Sista had the Whippers jammer Del Bomber with her but didn’t call the jam. Del got 3 points, then got trapped in the pack and eventually was sent to the penalty box. Sista got an outside whip from Tinja to score 4 points, then came around again, getting another 3 points including a point for the Whippers jammer in the box. It was a down to a 10 point lead for the Whippers at 77-67.
The D-Funk kept chipping away. boo d. livers took advantage of Del Bomber starting jam 12 in the box, boo getting lead and a 2-0 jam win, although boo had to survive getting knocked down by Sarah Hipel in the jam. Polly Fester got lead jam narrowly over Honey Suckit in jam 13, and called it off with a 1-0 jam win. It was a 7 point lead at 77-70.
The next several jams went back and forth. Sista Slit’chya made a nice move to slip by Del Bomber on the outside and gain lead jam, but then got passed by the Whippers Kat Von D’Stroya and Kat won jam 14 by 1-0. In jam 15, Sarah Hipel got the lead, then slowed to block D-Funk’s jammer boo d. livers. Eventually, Hipel won the jam 2-0. In jam 16, the Whippers Polly Fester had to dodge a hard hit from Elle Iminator, and that allowed Honey Suckit to get by and get the lead. Polly stayed right with Honey, though, and even managed to sneak by for a 1-0 jam win for the D-Funk. Kat Von D’Stroya had to work her way past a hard blocking Fatal Femme, then went on to a 2-0 jam win to restore the Whippers lead to 11 points at 82-71. Kat was helped by some hard blocking teammates who contained the D-Funk jammer Sista Slit’chya.
Jam 18 started with 4:06 remaining on the game clock. boo d. livers went around the outside of the pack to get the lead, and went on to a 3-0 jam win. boo’s teammate, Ima Wrecker, did a nice job holding back Sarah until Ima was called for being out of play, too far in front of the pack. it was 82-74 for the Whippers, merely an 8 point lead.
In jam 19, what could have been the pivotal jam of the game, Polly Fester got lead jammer for the Allstars when her teammate Black Eyed Skeez floored the Whippers jammer Kat Von D’Stroya. When Kat got back up, she was skating a bit slowly and looked as if maybe she had hurt her left arm. Polly went on to lap the pack twice, including a grand slam on one of the passes, winning the jam 9-0 and putting the D-Funk in the lead at 83-82. The Pistolwhippers called time out; there were 57 seconds left to play.
In what was a bad omen for the D-Funk, the Pistolwhippers lined up Sarah Hipel to jam for the final jam. Sarah, when skating under the name “Killbox” back in 2007, broke a 96-96 tie with the D-Funk by pulling out a 2-0 jam win in a jam that only had 43 seconds in it (jams ended at the end of the game clock back then). Well, Killbox, I mean Sarah, did it again this time. Sarah got the lead when her teammates slowed the main body of the pack so that the lead D-Funk blockers had to let Sarah go by. At the same time, the Whippers blockers trapped the D-Funk jammer, Sista Slit’chya, in the pack. Then Sista got sent to the box, then so did her teammate Black Eyed Skeez. That was all that Sarah needed as she went on to a 4-0 jam win, also restoring the Whippers on top with a score of 86-83 as time finally ran out on a game D-Funk Allstars team.
In the 2nd half, the D-Funk outscored the Pistolwhippers by a 57-21 margin. The D-Funk had 11 leads to 9, and had 6 leads in a row midway through the half where they outscored the Whippers 18-4. While the Whippers shut out the D-Funk in 9 of the 2nd half’s 20 jams, the D-Funk returned the favor by dealing goose-eggs to the Whippers in 11 jams. The Whippers could only score a single grand slam in the 2nd half, that by Sarah Hipel in the final jam as she was credited with passing the other jammer who was in the box. The D-Funk tallied 7 slams in the 2nd half.
While most of the 2nd half’s jams were low-scoring, the D-Funk did take advantage of 15-0, 9-4, 5-0, 7-3, and 9-0 jam wins to pull themselves back into the game. It only goes to show how a few key jams can quickly turn a derby game around.
Also, in the 2d half, it must have been difficult to manage the team’s lineups as each team had a constant parade of skaters to and from the penalty box. Hats off to Scarlette Fever and Bettie Two-Guns of the Pistolwhippers and Howie Rollson and Fanny Pack of the D-Funk for managing to keep skaters on the track during a frenzied game! Congrats also to Scarlette for managing her team to their second championship.
D-Funk’s Polly Fester led all scorers in the game with 33 points in 10 jams with 6 leads and 3 grand slams. Other Allstars jammers were: boo d. livers (27 points, 15 jams, 9 leads); Sista Slit’chya (23 pts, 15 jams, 4 leads, 4 slams); Ima Wrecker (0 pts, 3 jams).
The Pistolwhippers were led in scoring by the duo of Kat Von D’Stroya (29 pts, 12 jams, 6 leads, 2 slams) and Sarah Hipel (29 pts, 15 jams, 11 leads, 2 slams). Other Whippers jammers were: Honey Suckit (24 pts, 12 jams, 6 leads, 1 slam); Del Bomber (4 pts, 3 jams, 1 lead); Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t (0 pts, 1 jam).
Sarah Hipel of the Pistolwhippers was named MVP of the game.
The Detroit Derby Girls send their travel team to Seattle to play Rat City on June 6. Detroit is looking for revenge having lost in the 2007 WFTDA national tournament to Rat City by a 160-50 margin.
Posted on May 12, 2009
by Rusty Wheeler
May 9, 2009
The Detroit Pistoffs concluded their 2009 season by overcoming a 13 point deficit to defeat the Devil’s Night Dames 116-71, thereby winning the Consolation Game for 3rd place in the Detroit Derby Girls league. The game was close throughout the 1st half with the Dames holding a 43-39 lead at the intermission. About a third of the way through the 2nd half, the Pistoffs went on a 57-4 scoring tear, helped by 7 grand slams, and ran away with the game. The Pistoffs won the 2nd half by a 77-28 count, and the Pistoffs defense shut out the Dames in 12 of the half’s 18 jams.
The Pistoffs were league champions in 2006 and 2008. The Dames were runner-up to the Pistolwhippers in 2007.
The Dames jammed Muffy Mafioso vs. the Pistoffs Effin’ Money to start the game, but the jam was scoreless. The Dames struck first in jam 2 when Racer McChaseHer won it 2-0. Although the Dames Yo-Yo got lead in jam 3, the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble won the jam 4-3. Effin’ Money got the Pistoffs first lead in jam 4 and won the jam 4-0 to give the Pistoffs their first lead at 8-5. Muffy Mafioso came right back with a 4-0 win in jam 5 to put the Dames back on top, 9-8.
Racer McChaseHer got another 2-0 win in jam 6, then jam 7 was scoreless. The two captains, Racer & Cookie, skated to a 4-4 tie in jam 8. Muffy won jam 9 by 4-0 for the Dames, then Goodnight Gracie got a 2-0 win for the Pistoffs in jam 10 to cut the Dames lead to 19-14.
The Dames lost their jammer Rock Candy to the box in jam 11 for cutting the track, and that allowed Effin’ Money to win the jam 3-0. With Rock Candy still in the box to start jam 12, the Pistoffs’ Combat Cat recovered from a very nice block applied to her by the Dames Vicious Vixen and went on to score a grand slam and a 9-6 jam win to put the Pistoffs back in front by 26-25. Elle McFearsome then donned the star for the Pistoffs and pitched a 4-0 shutout in jam 13, upping the lead to 30-25. Summers Eve-L tied the game at 30 by winning jam 14 by 5-0 (with a slam), but was bounced around in the pack by Pistoffs blockers Mexi-Go, Bruisie Siouxxx, and Devil Kitty and had to earn the points the hard way. Jam 15 was scoreless.
Yo-Yo grabbed lead jammer for the Dames in jam 16, but was belted by Elle McFearsome. Elle continued the hit out of bounds and so was banished to the place where derby skaters have to sit for a minute when they’ve been naughty. But that block allowed Elle’s sister, Cookie Rumble, to skate by and win the jam 3-2, so the Pistoffs again led, 33-32. Summers Eve-L emerged first from the pack in jam 17 but was not awarded lead as she swam through the enemy blockers. Devil Kitty eventually did get lead and called the jam, but Summers won it 4-3, resulting in another tie score at 36-36. Muffy won jam 18 by 4-3 over the Pistoffs Vega Vendetta, and Racer McChaseHer ended the half with a 3-0 shutout for the Dames.
At the intermission, the Dames led 43-39. Amazingly, the Dames had 13 lead jammers to only 4 leads for the Pistoffs, although the Pistoffs defense prevented the Dames from fully taking advantage of those leads. Each team had only one grand slam. The Dames lost two jammers to the penalty box, the Pistoffs only had one jammer sent to the sin bin. The half was played fairly even blocking wise, although there were lots of easy “pass throughs” for the jammers going through the packs. Also, in four different jams in the 1st half, one team or the other employed the “Sarah Hipel” strategy of lining up a blocker behind the jammers to start jams so they could quickly get their 4th minor and thus skate directly to the penalty box without having to skate all the way around the track on their way to the box.
The Dames jammed relatively new skater Yo-Yo vs. the Pistoffs experienced Devil Kitty to start the 2nd half, resulting in a 4-4 tie. Yo-Yo got lead jammer, scored, but didn’t call the jam soon enough and so DK was also able to score. Summers Eve-L stretched the Dames lead to 51-43 with a 4-0 win in jam 2. The Pistoffs Cookie Rumble jammed vs. Muffy Mafioso in jam 3. Cookie blocked Muffy into the infield, and then stopped. Muffy was ahead of Cookie in track position, but couldn’t re-enter without getting a cutting the track penalty. Cookie did eventually start skating again, though, and went on to a 4-0 jam win. That jam reminded me of some old “classic” derby match races. Then the Dames Racer McChaseHer scored a 9-0 win with a slam in jam 4, although there was no lead jammer. The Dames led 50-47, their biggest, and as it turned out, last lead of the evening.
The Pistoffs totally turned the game around in jams 5-10, outscoring the Dames 57-4 and shutting out the Dames in 5 of those 6 jams. First, Vega Vendetta tied the score at 60-60 with a 13-0 rout in jam 5. Vega got two slams in that jam, and was helped by two huge knockdowns of the Dames’ jammer Yo-Yo by teammate Bruisie Siouxxx. Summers Eve-L got lead for the Dames in jam 6, but could only manage a 4-4 tie with Effin’ Money. The Pistoffs Combat Cat won jam 7 by 14-0 with two slams, followed by a 4-0 win by Cookie Rumble, then jam 9 went to Effin’ Money 8-0 with a slam, then Vega Vendetta won jam 10 by 14-0 with two more slams. Suddenly, the Pistoffs were leading by 40 points at 104-64, and there were less than 9 minutes remaining on the game clock.
The Dames tried hard to get back into the game, but only mustered 7 more points the rest of the way. Racer McChaseHer won jam 12 by 4-0, then called it quickly to save time. But that time-saving was countered by the Pistoffs finding ways to waste time, such as Cookie Rumble taking her sweet old time to cross the blocker start line when lined up as a blocker, which meant the jammers couldn’t start until that last blocker crossed the blocker start line. The Pistoffs, themselves, only scored 12 points in the game’s last 8 jams, but with a 40 point lead and tremendous blocking they didn’t have to worry much about scoring.
While there wasn’t much scoring in the final 8 jams, there was still lots of hitting. One hit that really stood out was a floor-wiping knockdown of Dames jammer Muffy Mafioso by the Pistoffs Goodnight Gracie in scoreless jam 15. There was an interesting play in jam 14 when Dames jammer Vicious Vixen lost her helmet cover. She made a great move to slide in front of a couple of Pistoffs blockers to retrieve the cover from its resting place on the track. After the game, Vicious admitted she hadn’t known she had lost the cover except for hearing the announcers on the PA saying “Vicious has lost her helmet cover and so can’t score until she retrieves it!”
Also, late in the game, the Dames lined up Whiskey Soured against Mexi-Go. Both skaters are usually blockers, and they skated to a scoreless draw. Mexi-Go did get lead, and called the jam. She called it too soon, however, as the Dames Racer McChaseHer then called time out with only 3 seconds left on the game clock. That timeout allowed one more jam to take place. While the score was out of reach, the Dames were able to jam usual blocker Dizzy Devine, perhaps to give her some experience jamming. But the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble got the lead in that last jam, and just called the jam off right away to end the game.
In the 2nd half, the Pistoffs totally took charge. They had 8 lead jammers to the Dames 7 leads, but the Pistoffs scored 8 grand slams in the period (9 in the game), while holding the Dames to just 2 slams in the entire game. The Pistoffs also outscored the Dames 77-28 in the half, and won the game by 116-71.
This was the 6th meeting between these two teams, and the Pistoffs continued their mastery of the Dames as the Pistoffs have now won five of those contests. While the Pistoffs ultimately prevailed in this game, it was a very close and exciting game for the first 40 minutes. Even the stretch of the game in the 2nd half where the Pistoffs went on their 57-4 surge was exciting, if not for Dames fans. The Pistoffs had four different jammers score 19 or more points, while the Dames had Racer McChaseHer with 27 points but nobody else with more than 17 points.
The Pistoffs used to have a dominating defense in previous years, and although their defense let them down a little earlier this season, their “D” played up to the standards of their championship seasons in this game. Roller derby leagues and teams are always “rebuilding” by having to replace players who leave for various reasons. It seems the Pistoffs have finally gotten their new players up to snuff, although it occurred too late in the DDG season and so they miss the championship game this year. However, the Pistoffs are still technically league champs until there is a winner in the D-Funk Allstars vs. Pistolwhippers game on May 30, and the Pistoffs played like champions vs. the Devil’s Night Dames.
The Pistoffs also now have a lifetime overall record of 9-4 (tied with the Pistolwhippers for best in the DDG), while the Dames have fallen to a 4-10 overall mark.
The Detroit Pistoffs were led in scoring by Effin’ Money with 31 points in 12 jams with 4 leads and 2 grand slams. Close behind was Vega Vendetta with 30 points in 6 jams with 2 leads and 4 slams, Other jammers were: Combat Cat (23 points, 5 jams, 1 lead, 3 slams); Cookie Rumble (19 pts, 6 jams, 2 leads); Devil Kitty (7 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Elle McFearsome (4 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Goodnight Gracie (2 pts, 2 jams); Mexi-Go (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead); Justass (0 pts, 1 jam).
The Devil’s Night Dames were paced by Racer McChaseHer with 27 points in 10 jams with 7 leads and 1 grand slam. Other jammers were: Summers Eve-L (17 points, 6 jams, 3 leads, 1 slam); Muffy Mafioso (12 pts, 9 jams, 4 leads); Yo-Yo (9 pts, 5 jams, 4 leads); Rock Candy (6 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Master Braider (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead); Dizzy Devine (0 pts, 1 jam); Inky Gash (0 pts, 1 jam); Vicious Vixen (0 pts, 1 jam); Whiskey Soured (0 pts, 1 jam).
The Pistoffs’ Bruisie Siouxxx was awarded game MVP. Bruisie had a total of 19 defensive “actions” which are blocks & knockdowns, plus 5 offensive actions (blocks, whips, etc). Other standouts for the Pistoffs were Elle McFearsome with a total of 39 actions, Cookie Rumble with 32 actions, Mexi-Go (21), and Combat Cat (15).
The Dames were led defensively by Racer McChaseHer with a total of 24 actions, proving once again that Racer is a top two-way player who plays defense as well as offense. Rock Candy had a solid game with 21 actions. Other notable blockers were Vicious Vixen (20) and Summers Eve-L (13).
The Detroit Derby Girls will conclude their 2009 season on May 30 with their Championship Game featuring the 2007 champion Pistolwhippers versus an up-and-coming D-Funk Allstars. The Pistolwhippers defeated D-Funk 102-84 in the opening game of the 2009 season, but D-Funk has matured since then and it’s anybody’s game. The Allstars will be without experienced blocker Roxanna Hardplace, though, as she was injured in a game against Grand Raggidy on May 2. The Pistolwhippers’ Sarah Hipel also has an injury, but it would be extremely surprising if she doesn’t play in spite of the injury.
Posted on May 5, 2009
by Rusty Wheeler
May 2, 2009
The Detroit Derby Girls made it four wins in a row over the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls, but unlike the last time these two teams played, where Detroit squeaked out a 94-82 victory, this time Detroit thrashed Grand Raggidy 179-35. Detroit dominated the game in every way, and it made for a long night for the hosts and fans of Grand Raggidy.
Rather then recap this game jam by jam as is my usual fashion, I will instead write more in generalities due to the game’s lopsided nature.
Perhaps the highlight of the game from the Grand Raggidy standpoint was the game’s opening jam which Jackie Daniels won for the home squad 3-0 to give GR an early lead. In jam 2 Sarah Hipel (formerly known as Killbox) got a 2-0 win for Detroit, and that was the last jam that saw Grand Raggidy leading on the scoreboard. In jam 3, Detroit’s boo d. livers put up a 13-0 win with a grand slam, followed by DDG’s Sista Slitchya winning jam 4 by 8-0 with a slam, and suddenly it was 23-3 for the DDG. It was off to the races for the rest of the night. Detroit outscored Grand Raggidy 77-12 in the 1st half with DDG scoring 7 grand slams. Lead jammers were evenly distributed at 10 apiece, but Detroit’s defense only allowed GR to score 5 points in those 10 jams in which GR had lead jammer.
The game was marred in jam 11 when Roxanna Hardplace was injured. I didn’t see what occurred, but the referees called off the scoreless jam when Roxanna was down on both knees on the floor outside the track and in front of the penalty boxes. After a somewhat lengthy delay in which the EMTs attended to Roxanna, she was able to walk off the floor with minimal assistance on her way to get further medical attention for what appeared to be a left shoulder injury. Both teams then received ample time to warm up again after taking a knee for the injury time. When the injury occurred, Detroit was leading it 39-7. It was looking like a repeat of the Minnesota-Grand Raggidy game of a week earlier, although Detroit never let up, and Grand Raggidy was not able to mount a comeback this time.
There was also an interesting ploy in the last jam of the 1st half. Many times blockers will line up deliberately with a skate in front of the blocker start line in order to get called for their 4th minor penalty so they can go to the penalty box early in a jam and “get it over with.” But for this jam, DDG’s Sarah Hipel instead lined up behind the jammers. That way when the jam started she was called for illegal procedure (or would it be a false start?), which was her 4th minor. But instead of having to skate all the way around the track to the penalty box from the usual blocker start line, from where she lined up behind the jammer start line she could skate directly to the box without having to pass Go, and also without presumably collecting $200. No doubt there will be a future WFTDA rule to prevent such shenanigans! By the way, this game was played under WFTDA 3.1 rules.
Detroit continued the pressure in the 2nd half, starting out by winning the 1st three jams by 4-2, 9-5, and 3-1 scores. Detroit scored more points in the 2nd half (102) than in the 1st, and both teams were still whacking each other pretty good. Grand Raggidy’s Jackie Daniels appeared to get roughed up a couple of times in the half. In jam 15, Jackie got knocked down in the pack and a teammate fell heavily on top of her. Play was stopped, and Jackie looked a bit shaken. Another time Jackie skated around holding her hand to her face after it appeared she caught either a finger or an elbow in her eye. Since I was recording stats I couldn’t note all of the big hits by both teams, but there were many. The hitting continued until about jam 17 (out of 19 in the half) when both teams reverted to just cruising around the track like they were at an open skate. There was no scoring in the last two jams of the game.
Detroit particularly dominated the lead jammer stats in the 2nd half, getting lead in the first 15 jams in the half, and 16 overall. Grand Raggidy were only able to get lead in 3 of the half’s last four jams.
What to say about this game, except it was sort of uncomfortable watching Detroit pound Grand Raggidy. Many skaters on both teams are friends, but in spite of that, both teams skated hard and didn’t hold back on the hitting until the very end. Grand Raggidy seems to have gotten disorganized ever since the Fall Brawl in Ft. Wayne in 2008 where they lost to an upstart Arch Rivals squad.
Grand Raggidy was once again without star jammer Mira Maheiney who has had to at least temporarily withdraw from derby due to life circumstances. I’m sure she would be welcomed back, if and when she can return to derby. I don’t believe GR has recovered from losing experienced blockers Javelin, Battleaxe, and Letha Venom to the nearby Killamazoo Derby Darlins when that league was formed in Kalamazoo a couple of years ago. Those three players lived closer to Kalamazoo than Grand Rapids, and so they decided to skate nearer to home. They do make up a deadly blocking trio, not to mention that Javelin and Letha are also quite effective jammers. One could also throw in Terrorhawk as an effective blocker that went from GR to Kzoo.
Bette Mangler was unavailable for this game for Grand Raggidy, and that also hurt as she is a blocker who likes to hit people. And I kept forgetting to ask where Angie Warhaul is as she’s not listed on the GR team web pages any more. Another good blocker that is missed.
This game was the 2nd game of a double-header between the two cities, and Grand Raggidy had to use several players in both games, in particular Disarmin’ Darlin, Keisha Mei Ash, Lindsay Blowhan, Lucy Morals, Shutter Speed, and Tone Loco. Having just skated 60 minutes versus the Motor City Disassembly Line and then having to skate another 60 against the Detroit Derby Girls All-Stars has got to be tiring!
Detroit was led by boo d. livers with 50 points in 11 jams with 8 leads and 3 grand slams. Other Detroit jammers: Kat Von D’Stroya (43 points, 9 jams, 6 leads, 4 slams); Sarah Hipel (35 pts, 9 jams, 5 leads, 3 slams); Sista Slitchya (31 pts, 8 jams, 4 leads, 3 slams); Racer McChaseHer (20 pts, 2 jams, 2 leads, 2 slams); Elle McFearsome (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead).
Grand Raggidy was paced by Dot Matrix’s 12 points in 11 jams with 4 leads and GR’s only grand slam. Other scorers: Viva La Boom (11 pts, 8 jams, 3 leads); Jackie Daniels (8 pts, 13 jams, 4 leads); Hot New Girl (4 pts, 8 jams, 2 leads).
Don’t have any blocking stats, although Roxanna Hardplace of DDG was awarded MVP of the game.
The Detroit Derby Girls All Stars next skate at Seattle on June 6.
The Grand Raggidy Roller Girls next travel to Cincinnati on May 30.
Posted on May 5, 2009
by Rusty Wheeler
May 2, 2009
In the first half of a double-header between the “B” teams of the Detroit Derby Girls and the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls, Detroit’s Motor City Disassembly Line overcame a 16 point halftime deficit to defeat the host G-Rap Attack! by 105-92. G-Rap led 51-35 at the half, but the MCDL outscored G-Rap 70-41 in the 2nd half to rally for the win. MCDL was led by experienced jammer Effin’ Money with 48 points, 31 of those points in the 2nd half.
These two teams exist as a way for each league to have newer skaters gain experience playing against other leagues, although MCDL’s Effin’ Money, Cold Fusion, and Whiskey Soured already had beaucoup experience coming into this game. It appeared it was just the right amount of seasoning needed to help out the less experienced skaters on the squad. G-Rap also had some experienced players, namely Keisha Mei Ash, Lindsay Blowhan, Lucy Morals, Shutter Speed, and Tone Loco, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the MCDL.
The G-Rap Attack struck first. After a scoreless opening jam, G-Rap’s Tamara Hurtsworse won jam 2 by 3-0, then GR’s Disarmin’ Darlin added a 4-0 win in jam 3. After GR got lead jammer in those first three jams, MCDL came back with 5 straight leads, but could only cut two points off GR’s lead in those jams 4-8. Combat Cat got MCDL’s first points in jam 5 with a 4-4 tie vs. Disarmin’ Darlin. Disarmin’ started that jam in the box, and Cat ended the jam in the box. After a scoreless jam 5, MCDL’s Effin’ Money edged Tamara Hurtsworse in jam 6, followed by a 4-2 jam win for Disarmin’ over Ghetto Barbie in jam 7, followed by a 3-0 win by Effin’ in jam 8. It was 17-12 for G-Rap.
G-Rap then proceeded to gain lead jammer in 6 of the next 7 jams, and outscore MCDL 26-6 in those jams. After a scoreless jam 9, Tamara Hurtsworse got a 4-0 win for GR in jam 10. Disarmin’ got the first of her two grand slams on the night in a 5-0 win in jam 11. Effin’ Money got the lead for MCDL in jam 12, but the best she could do was a 3-3 draw with Lucy Morals. GR’s Keisha Mei Ash got a 5-0 win in jam 13 (not a slam), then Disarmin’ won jam 14 by 4-3 over Combat Cat, then Keisha got a 5-0 slam win in jam 15 to extend G-Rap’s lead to 43-18. G-Rap had their largest lead of the game at 25 points.
Motor City called time out after jam 15, and must have had some energy drinks during the short break, because their Dizzy Devine skated to a 4-4 tie in jam 16 versus Lucy Morals, in spite of Dizzy starting that jam in the box. Dizzy did get lead on that jam. Dizzy had a toe-stop malfunction when she was jamming in jam 15, and she skated to the infield and tried to get the referees to stop the jam, but that was not to be. Then she skated on to the track and was sort of stationary, and was eventually sent to the box. I’m not sure what the penalty call was, and I forgot to ask afterwards or to check the penalty sheets, but that’s probably the real reason MCDL called a time-out – so they could repair her toe stop before she had to leave the box in the following jam.
In any event, MCDL’s Effin’ Money grabbed lead and quickly scored 4 points in jam 17. She could have called the jam, but instead kept going. That allowed GR’s Keisha Mei Ash to also score 4 points, but then Effin’ came around for another 4 point scoring pass and then called the jam with an 8-4 jam win. The final jam of the period was a 5-0 grand slam win by MCDL’s Combat Cat. It was sort of a strange jam as Cat went to the box early, but MCDL’s blockers were able to stymie GR’s Tamara Hurtsworse. Tamara was then sent to the box, Cat came out and was able to score her 5 points. That late rally by MCDL shaved 9 points off the GR lead and so G-Rap only led 51-35 at the half. GR had the edge in lead jammers 9-8 in the period’s 18 jams, and also controlled most of the blocking. Somehow, though, MCDL was able to stay close on the scoreboard.
The pace picked up to start the 2nd half, with GR’s Tamara Hurtsworse starting the half in the penalty box, MCDL’s Effin’ Money took full advantage with lead jammer, two slams, and a 14-0 jam win to cut the GR lead to 51-49. Jam 2 was without result (i.e., no scoring), and jam 3 was a 4-4 tie between Effin’ Money and Disarmin’ Darlin (Effin’ had lead). Keisha Mei Ash secured lead and a 4-2 win in jam 4 for GR, then Tamara got another lead and a 4-0 win for GR in jam 5. That put the GR lead at 63-55. That was to be the last jam in which they led, but nobody knew it then.
MCDL got lead in jams 6-8 and outscored GR 29-0 in those three jams. Ghetto Barbie started it rolling for MCDL with a 9-0 slam win in jam 6, followed by Dizzy Devine’s two slams in a 10-0 jam, capped by Effin’s 10-0 twin slam jam in jam 8. Suddenly, MCDL led by 21 at 84-63.
The Attack! didn’t just sit back, they struck back. MCDL’s Ghetto Barbie got sent to the box early in jam 9, so GR’s Disarmin’ Darlin scored a slam and 8 points before she too was sent to the box with a major for a back block on a play in which Disarmin’ was knocked down by MCDL’s Zooma Thurman. That did trim the MCDL lead to 84-71. Needless to say, jam 9 was one of the last “jammerless jams” we will see (this game was played under WFTDA 3.1 rules), and so each team had to select a new jammer from among the skaters who were remaining on the track. GR picked Lindsay Blowhan to wear the star, and MCDL countered with Whiskey Soured. Now, let’s just say that Whiskey does not sport a typical jammer’s physique–it can safely be said that Whiskey is “large and in charge.” Nonetheless, Whiskey got the lead and a 4-3 jam win, and the MCDL fans were loving it. I especially loved watching Whiskey skating for a short time with her tongue sticking out; it reminded me of old-time hockey player Eddie “the Entertainer” Shack who would frequently skate like that.
MCDL upped their lead to 92-74 when Goodnight Gracie got lead and a 4-0 win in jam 11. Jam 12 was scoreless. Tamara Hurtsworse got lead for GR but MCDL’s Combat Cat caught her and so Tamara called the jam. The Attack! edged a bit closer in jams 13-15, gaining all three lead jammers but could only outscore MCDL 8-2 in those jams. Disarmin’ Darlin won jam 13 by 2-0, then Tamara Hurtsworse won jam 14 by 4-0. Keisha Mei Ash skated to a 2-2 deadlock with Effin’ Money in jam 15. MCDL’s lead was down to 12 points at 94-82.
Jam 16 was huge for MCDL and Combat Cat as she got lead and scored 2 grand slams in a 10-0 win to put MCDL up by 104-82. It had the feeling of salting away the game, but there was still enough time for a couple more jams. MCDL’s Effin’ Money was able to eke out a 1-0 jam win over Disarmin’ Darlin in jam 17, more importantly using up some time. For the final jam of the game, MCDL lost their jammer Goodnight Gracie to the box about 30 seconds into the jam. G-Rap’s Keisha Mei Ash skated hard, earning two grand slams, but ran out of time in a 10-0 jam win that left MCDL with the 105-92 win.
Besides doubling their 1st half scoring and holding G-Rap to 10 fewer points than Half One, MCDL had more lead jammers in the 2nd half, 10-8.
This was an entertaining game. Each team led by 20 plus points at different times, although MCDL led at the end when it counted. While G-Rap had the blocking edge in the 1st half, MCDL evened that in the 2nd. This game was also played in streaks where one team would get several lead jammers in a row and outscore the opponent by a margin. The biggest of those streaks went to MCDL in jams 6-8 of the 2nd half when they outscored GR 29-0. Take away those three jams and GR wins instead. But, you must count all jams skated, and thus Motor City hangs on for the win.
I was helping out with stats-keeping in this game, and I have to say I had a little confusion at times. At least two different G-Rap skaters had large stickers on the right sides of their helmets that looked very much like the jammer’s star, although of course those stickers were visible only when those skaters weren’t wearing any helmet covers. A couple time I was about to credit Motor City blockers with a jammer knockdown, only to check to see it was instead a blocker on blocker knockdown. I would like to point out that WFTDA 4.0 rule 184.108.40.206 says: “Only the Jammer’s helmet cover may have stars on it or any marks that might be confused with stars.” Also, rule 220.127.116.11 says: “Only the Pivot’s helmet cover may have stripes on it that run the length of the helmet in any direction or any marks that might be confused with stripes.”
Motor City’s Effin’ Money was high scorer in the game with 48 points while jamming 10 times with 8 leads (an outstanding 80% lead percentage), also scoring 4 grand slams, all in the 2nd half. Effin’ also was high in the game with a + 20 in plus/minus as a jammer. Other Motor City scorers were: Combat Cat (22 points, 11 jams, 4 leads, 3 slams); Dizzy Devine (14 pts, 3 jams, 2 leads, 2 slams); Ghetto Barbie (11 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads, 1 slam); Goodnight Gracie (6 pts, 6 jams, 1 lead); and Whiskey Soured (4 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead). I’m not certain, but that may have been the first career jam for Ms. Soured.
The G-Rap Attack! were led by a nice 1-2 combo of Disarmin’ Darlin (35 points, 10 jams, 5 leads, 2 slams, also +12 in plus/minus as a jammer) and Keisha Mei Ash (30 pts, 12 jams, 7 leads, 3 slams). Other GR scorers: Tamara Hurtsworse (17 pts, 10 jams, 5 leads); Lucy Morals (7 pts, 3 jams); and Lindsay Blowhan (3 pts, 1 jam).
Sorry, don’t yet have any blocking stats.
The Motor City Disassembly Line next returns to action on July 18 at the Chicago Outfit.
The G-Rap Attack!’s next game is May 30 at Cincinnati.