DDG 2009 Championship–Pistolwhippers 86 vs. D-Funk Allstars 83

Posted on June 6, 2009

by Rusty Wheeler
Detroit, MI
May 30, 2009

The Pistolwhippers cruised to an easy 39 point lead at halftime over the D-Funk Allstars, then the Allstars chipped away at that lead in the 2nd half, finally taking the lead 83-82 in the penultimate jam when Polly Fester scored a 9-0 grand slam jam win. But then Sarah Hipel came right back in the game’s final jam with one of her patented “Killbox” moments with a 4-0 jam win for the Whippers, thus winning the game 86-83 and allowing the Pistolwhippers to take home the Detroit Derby Girls “Olive” trophy for the 2nd time in their history.

The Pistolwhippers were last league champs in 2007 when they defeated the Devil’s Night Dames 96-82 in the championship game. The Whippers were runners-up in 2006, losing to the Detroit Pistoffs 121-113 in the title game. The Whippers and Pistoffs have now each won two DDG titles. The Whippers also now own the best lifetime record of the four DDG teams with a 10-4 won-lost mark. The Whippers also are the highest scoring team in the DDG, scoring an average of 109 points per game over their 14 total games. The Whippers also set a new season defensive record, only allowing their 2009 season opponents 68 points per game, eclipsing the old defensive record of 69 points allowed per game by the 2008 Detroit Pistoffs.

This was the first time the D-Funk Allstars battled for the DDG championship, and they made a fine showing. The Allstars were hampered by the loss of hard-nosed blocker Roxanna Hardplace who had broken her collarbone in a recent DDG travel team game versus Grand Raggidy. Also, former D-Funk captain Black Eyed Skeez took a hard fall in pre-game warmups, although if she was skating at less than full capacity it didn’t show as she had a typical good blocking game. In any event, the Allstars still hold the single-season scoring record when they scored an average of 130 points per game in the 2006 season (they also scored 122 points/game in 2007). Although the D-Funk are now 4-9 lifetime, they appear headed up after playing for the championship.

This game was the last DDG game to be played under WFTDA 3.1 rules.

1st Half

The Pistolwhippers opened the game with captain Del Bomber at pivot, Sarah Hipel, Bytch Ryder, Kat Von D’Stroya as blockers, and Honey Suckit at jammer. The D-Funk lined up Polly Fester at pivot, blockers Black Eyed Skeez, Tiny Ninja (aka “Tinja”), and captain Fatal Femme, with jammer boo d. livers. boo d. livers got lead jammer, but on her scoring pass she got tangled up with some teammates in the back of the pack and fell down. That allowed Honey Suckit to pass, so boo called the jam off and the score remained 0-0. Black Eyed Skeez fell heavily in that pileup, and was a little slow to get up, although she skated well in the balance of the game.

Sarah Hipel got lead in jam 2, then evaded a would-be big hit from D-Funk’s Ghetto Barbie en route to a 4-0 jam win. Jam 3 was an 8-8 affair. The Funk’s boo d. livers had lead, then she played a little cat-and-mouse with Whippers’ jammer Kat Von D’Stroya. Kat then passed boo and entered the pack to score, but boo didn’t call it off. Each jammer got 4 points, then came around a second time for another 4 points each. Polly Fester got lead for D-Funk in jam 4, but couldn’t shake Honey Suckit, so called it without scoring. It was 12-8 for the Whippers after four jams.

In jam 5, D-Funk’s Sista Slit’chya was spun around in the pack, then got a fortuitous whip from Ghetto Barbie and thus became lead jammer. She called the jam after scoring just 1 point, though, as she had Sarah Hipel hard on her heels. In jam 6, D-Funk’s Black Eyed Skeez floored Kat Von D’Stroya, allowing boo d. livers to grab lead and go on to a 4-0 jam win, temporarily putting D-Funk in the lead at 13-12.

D-Funk’s Ima Wrecker fought her way through to emerge first from the pack in jam 7, but then became the game’s first jammer to get sent to the box for cutting the track. Honey Suckit then claimed lead for the Whippers and went on to an 8-0 grand slam jam win to restore the lead in the Whippers favor at 20-13. Honey’s second scoring pass was terminated prematurely when she was decked by Polly Fester to a notable crowd reaction. Ima started jam 8 in the box, but Whipper Kat Von D’Stroya couldn’t get by the effective tandem of Fatal Femme and Tinja, then got knocked down by Cat’s Meow. Kat did recover, did finally get the lead the next time around, but called the jam before anyone scored.

Honey Suckit got lead jammer in jam 9, but couldn’t shake boo d. livers. Honey called the jam after outscoring boo 4-3. boo also got belted to the floor by Del Bomber just after the whistle that ended the jam. Kat Von D’Stroya got lead in jam 10, and D-Funk’s Sista Slit’chya got trapped in the pack. Sarah Hipel put a hard shoulder into Sista, who sailed into the infield and was then banished to the box for cutting the track. DF’s Black Eyed Skeez also fended off a hard block from Hipel, but Skeez got sent to the box. At jam’s end, Kat had rang up a 10-0 double grand slam win, stretching the Whippers lead to 34-16. D-Funk called time out to try and get organized.

D-Funk jammer Sista Slit’chya started jam 11 in the box. That allowed Sarah Hipel to lap her, although Sarah only won the jam 4-0. Kat Von D’Stroya got lead in jam 12 but couldn’t shake boo d. livers, so called it with no score. Del Bomber donned the star for the Whippers in jam 13, gaining lead when she slammed on the brakes to avoid an intended block from Black Eyed Skeez; however, Polly Fester passed Del and got a 2-1 jam win which forced Del to call it off. Sarah Hipel got the lead and another 3-0 win for the Whippers in jam 14. As was typical of many of the contest’s jams, Sarah’s teammates slowed the pack which put the last D-Funk blocker, Ghetto Barbie, out of play, thus giving Sarah an easy pass-by. Both teams employed that strategy throughout the game. It was 42-18 for the Whippers, with D-Funk employing another time out.

Kat Von D’Stroya won jam 15 for the Whippers 4-1 over boo d. livers. There was some particularly good team blocking by the Whippers in this jam when Bytch Ryder slowed boo, then Del came in from the side to blast boo in pure textbook style (if there was a derby blocking textbook!). The Whippers then went on to outscore the Allstars 15-0 in the next five jams, thus stretching their lead to 61-19. Jam 16 was 3-0 for Honey Suckit, jam 17 went 4-0 for Sarah Hipel, jam 18 was scoreless, jam 19 went to Honey Suckit 4-0, then jam 20 was 4-0 for Hipel again. Bytch Ryder got a major penalty for out of play blocking on boo in jam 18. boo also had lead in jam 18 and was initially credited with scoring 4 points, but the Pistolwhippers challenged the score and then the points were taken away from boo and the Allstars.

D-Funk tried to battle back late in the 1st half. boo d. livers won jam 21 by 3-0, and Polly Fester won jam 22 by 4-0. That cut the Whippers lead to 61-26, but then Kat Von D’Stroya finished off the half with a 4-0 win for the Whippers, making the halftime score 65-26.

In the first half, the Whippers had 15 lead jammers to 8 for the D-Funk, including 11 leads in a row in the middle of the half in which the Whippers outscored their foes 41-6. D-Funkers Fatal Femme, Black Eyed Skeez, and Tinja had 26, 19, and 15 blocks (respectively) in that 1st half, while Bytch Ryder, Cassie Corridor, Cold Fusion, Del Bomber, and Elle Iminator were at the top of the blocking stats for the Whippers. The Whippers scored 3 grand slams in the half to none for the D-Funk. D-Funk were shut out in 15 of the half’s 23 jams, while the Whippers couldn’t score in 9 of the jams.

At halftime, some folks were expressing disappointment. They figured the game would be close all the way, but it was looking like a romp for the Pistolwhippers.

2nd Half

The Whippers started pivot Del Bomber, blockers Bytch Ryder and Kat Von D’Stroya, and jammer Honey Suckit to start the 2nd half. D-Funk countered with blockers Tinja, Black Eyed Skeez, Polly Fester, and jammer boo d. livers. The Whippers Sarah Hipel (blocker) and the Allstars Fatal Femme (pivot) were both in the penalty box. boo d. livers for lead jammer, but Honey Suckit won the jam 1-0. The Whippers also won jam 2 by 1-0 courtesy of Sarah Hipel. Jam 3 was scoreless. Sarah zoomed through the pack to get lead, although she had to put a nice juke on Tinja to accomplish that feat. When Sarah came around to score, she was decked by Black Eyed Skeez, and before Sarah could call the jam, Polly Fester snuck around and got a 2-0 win for the Funkers. It was 67-28 for the Whippers.

The D-Funk got their big break to start to get back into the game in jam 5. The Whippers started the jam with 2 blockers in the penalty box, and they sent Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t to the jammer line, jamming for her first time in the game. D-Funk countered with Sista Slit’chya, although Sista had only scored 1 point so far in the game in 9 previous jams. Sista got lead when the Whippers Bytch Ryder was out of play blocking, then Jackie was knocked down by Fatal Femme and got trapped in the pack. Sista scored a couple of grand slams by lapping everyone, had to shake off another out of play block by Bytch, then went on to a third grand slam when Cat’s Meow took a turn at knocking down Jackie. It was a magnificent 15-0 jam win for the D-Funkers that cut the Whippers lead from 39 to 24 points at 67-43, breathing new hope into the Allstars.

Sarah Hipel came back with a 3-0 win in jam 6 for the Whippers. Whipper Cassie Corridor did a nice job containing boo d. livers in the pack. Eventually Black Eyed Skeez placed a nice offensive block on the person of Cassie and freed boo, but it was too late in the jam to matter. Polly Fester got lead for the Funk in jam 7, but had Honey Suckit right with her. It looked like a tactical error when Polly didn’t call off the jam when Honey passed her and started scoring. Honey did get 4 points, then got trapped back in the pack. In the meantime, Polly also got 4 points, but was able to escape the pack and come around for another scoring pass of 5 points as Honey was still trapped, thus winning the jam 9-4 with a slam. Overall, that jam was wild. At one point, the Whippers Del Bomber got sent to the box and overshot the box and turned and skated the wrong way back to the box, and of course that is a big no-no. That 15-0 jam cut the Whippers lead to 22 points at 74-52, triggering a time out called by the Pistolwhippers.

Jam 8 was scoreless. Sarah Hipel got lead for the Whippers, but was passed by Sista Slit’chya and so called off the jam. Both jammers took some hard shots (as in hard hits, not hard liquor) in the pack. The Allstars then put on a burst of scoring in the next three jams. Jam 9 was won by boo d. livers 3-0 over Hipel. boo got the lead, then Hipel got in front of boo and seemed to be mostly interested in just wasting time and blocking. But the pack slowed even more and both jammers approached the back of the pack. boo passed Hipel, then Hipel elbowed boo down from behind, getting a major penalty for her efforts. boo got her 3 quick points and just as quickly called the jam so to have as much time as possible in the next jam without a Pistolwhipper jammer on the track.

Polly Fester got her 2nd grand slam of the game with a 5-0 win in jam 10, aided by the Whippers jammer, Sarah Hipel, starting the jam in the penalty box. That cut the Whippers lead to 74-60. Sista Slit’chya got lead jammer in jam 11 and the D-Funk fans were going wild. Sista had the Whippers jammer Del Bomber with her but didn’t call the jam. Del got 3 points, then got trapped in the pack and eventually was sent to the penalty box. Sista got an outside whip from Tinja to score 4 points, then came around again, getting another 3 points including a point for the Whippers jammer in the box. It was a down to a 10 point lead for the Whippers at 77-67.

The D-Funk kept chipping away. boo d. livers took advantage of Del Bomber starting jam 12 in the box, boo getting lead and a 2-0 jam win, although boo had to survive getting knocked down by Sarah Hipel in the jam. Polly Fester got lead jam narrowly over Honey Suckit in jam 13, and called it off with a 1-0 jam win. It was a 7 point lead at 77-70.

The next several jams went back and forth. Sista Slit’chya made a nice move to slip by Del Bomber on the outside and gain lead jam, but then got passed by the Whippers Kat Von D’Stroya and Kat won jam 14 by 1-0. In jam 15, Sarah Hipel got the lead, then slowed to block D-Funk’s jammer boo d. livers. Eventually, Hipel won the jam 2-0. In jam 16, the Whippers Polly Fester had to dodge a hard hit from Elle Iminator, and that allowed Honey Suckit to get by and get the lead. Polly stayed right with Honey, though, and even managed to sneak by for a 1-0 jam win for the D-Funk. Kat Von D’Stroya had to work her way past a hard blocking Fatal Femme, then went on to a 2-0 jam win to restore the Whippers lead to 11 points at 82-71. Kat was helped by some hard blocking teammates who contained the D-Funk jammer Sista Slit’chya.

Jam 18 started with 4:06 remaining on the game clock. boo d. livers went around the outside of the pack to get the lead, and went on to a 3-0 jam win. boo’s teammate, Ima Wrecker, did a nice job holding back Sarah until Ima was called for being out of play, too far in front of the pack. it was 82-74 for the Whippers, merely an 8 point lead.

In jam 19, what could have been the pivotal jam of the game, Polly Fester got lead jammer for the Allstars when her teammate Black Eyed Skeez floored the Whippers jammer Kat Von D’Stroya. When Kat got back up, she was skating a bit slowly and looked as if maybe she had hurt her left arm. Polly went on to lap the pack twice, including a grand slam on one of the passes, winning the jam 9-0 and putting the D-Funk in the lead at 83-82. The Pistolwhippers called time out; there were 57 seconds left to play.

In what was a bad omen for the D-Funk, the Pistolwhippers lined up Sarah Hipel to jam for the final jam. Sarah, when skating under the name “Killbox” back in 2007, broke a 96-96 tie with the D-Funk by pulling out a 2-0 jam win in a jam that only had 43 seconds in it (jams ended at the end of the game clock back then). Well, Killbox, I mean Sarah, did it again this time. Sarah got the lead when her teammates slowed the main body of the pack so that the lead D-Funk blockers had to let Sarah go by. At the same time, the Whippers blockers trapped the D-Funk jammer, Sista Slit’chya, in the pack. Then Sista got sent to the box, then so did her teammate Black Eyed Skeez. That was all that Sarah needed as she went on to a 4-0 jam win, also restoring the Whippers on top with a score of 86-83 as time finally ran out on a game D-Funk Allstars team.

Afterthoughts

In the 2nd half, the D-Funk outscored the Pistolwhippers by a 57-21 margin. The D-Funk had 11 leads to 9, and had 6 leads in a row midway through the half where they outscored the Whippers 18-4. While the Whippers shut out the D-Funk in 9 of the 2nd half’s 20 jams, the D-Funk returned the favor by dealing goose-eggs to the Whippers in 11 jams. The Whippers could only score a single grand slam in the 2nd half, that by Sarah Hipel in the final jam as she was credited with passing the other jammer who was in the box. The D-Funk tallied 7 slams in the 2nd half.

While most of the 2nd half’s jams were low-scoring, the D-Funk did take advantage of 15-0, 9-4, 5-0, 7-3, and 9-0 jam wins to pull themselves back into the game. It only goes to show how a few key jams can quickly turn a derby game around.

Also, in the 2d half, it must have been difficult to manage the team’s lineups as each team had a constant parade of skaters to and from the penalty box. Hats off to Scarlette Fever and Bettie Two-Guns of the Pistolwhippers and Howie Rollson and Fanny Pack of the D-Funk for managing to keep skaters on the track during a frenzied game! Congrats also to Scarlette for managing her team to their second championship.

Statistics

D-Funk’s Polly Fester led all scorers in the game with 33 points in 10 jams with 6 leads and 3 grand slams. Other Allstars jammers were: boo d. livers (27 points, 15 jams, 9 leads); Sista Slit’chya (23 pts, 15 jams, 4 leads, 4 slams); Ima Wrecker (0 pts, 3 jams).

The Pistolwhippers were led in scoring by the duo of Kat Von D’Stroya (29 pts, 12 jams, 6 leads, 2 slams) and Sarah Hipel (29 pts, 15 jams, 11 leads, 2 slams). Other Whippers jammers were: Honey Suckit (24 pts, 12 jams, 6 leads, 1 slam); Del Bomber (4 pts, 3 jams, 1 lead); Jackie O. Noyoudidn’t (0 pts, 1 jam).

Sarah Hipel of the Pistolwhippers was named MVP of the game.

Future

The Detroit Derby Girls send their travel team to Seattle to play Rat City on June 6. Detroit is looking for revenge having lost in the 2007 WFTDA national tournament to Rat City by a 160-50 margin.

Detroit Pistoffs 116 vs. Devil’s Night Dames 71

Posted on May 12, 2009

by Rusty Wheeler
Detroit, MI
May 9, 2009

The Detroit Pistoffs concluded their 2009 season by overcoming a 13 point deficit to defeat the Devil’s Night Dames 116-71, thereby winning the Consolation Game for 3rd place in the Detroit Derby Girls league. The game was close throughout the 1st half with the Dames holding a 43-39 lead at the intermission. About a third of the way through the 2nd half, the Pistoffs went on a 57-4 scoring tear, helped by 7 grand slams, and ran away with the game. The Pistoffs won the 2nd half by a 77-28 count, and the Pistoffs defense shut out the Dames in 12 of the half’s 18 jams.

The Pistoffs were league champions in 2006 and 2008. The Dames were runner-up to the Pistolwhippers in 2007.

1st Half

The Dames jammed Muffy Mafioso vs. the Pistoffs Effin’ Money to start the game, but the jam was scoreless. The Dames struck first in jam 2 when Racer McChaseHer won it 2-0. Although the Dames Yo-Yo got lead in jam 3, the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble won the jam 4-3. Effin’ Money got the Pistoffs first lead in jam 4 and won the jam 4-0 to give the Pistoffs their first lead at 8-5. Muffy Mafioso came right back with a 4-0 win in jam 5 to put the Dames back on top, 9-8.

Racer McChaseHer got another 2-0 win in jam 6, then jam 7 was scoreless. The two captains, Racer & Cookie, skated to a 4-4 tie in jam 8. Muffy won jam 9 by 4-0 for the Dames, then Goodnight Gracie got a 2-0 win for the Pistoffs in jam 10 to cut the Dames lead to 19-14.

The Dames lost their jammer Rock Candy to the box in jam 11 for cutting the track, and that allowed Effin’ Money to win the jam 3-0. With Rock Candy still in the box to start jam 12, the Pistoffs’ Combat Cat recovered from a very nice block applied to her by the Dames Vicious Vixen and went on to score a grand slam and a 9-6 jam win to put the Pistoffs back in front by 26-25. Elle McFearsome then donned the star for the Pistoffs and pitched a 4-0 shutout in jam 13, upping the lead to 30-25. Summers Eve-L tied the game at 30 by winning jam 14 by 5-0 (with a slam), but was bounced around in the pack by Pistoffs blockers Mexi-Go, Bruisie Siouxxx, and Devil Kitty and had to earn the points the hard way. Jam 15 was scoreless.

Yo-Yo grabbed lead jammer for the Dames in jam 16, but was belted by Elle McFearsome. Elle continued the hit out of bounds and so was banished to the place where derby skaters have to sit for a minute when they’ve been naughty. But that block allowed Elle’s sister, Cookie Rumble, to skate by and win the jam 3-2, so the Pistoffs again led, 33-32. Summers Eve-L emerged first from the pack in jam 17 but was not awarded lead as she swam through the enemy blockers. Devil Kitty eventually did get lead and called the jam, but Summers won it 4-3, resulting in another tie score at 36-36. Muffy won jam 18 by 4-3 over the Pistoffs Vega Vendetta, and Racer McChaseHer ended the half with a 3-0 shutout for the Dames.

At the intermission, the Dames led 43-39. Amazingly, the Dames had 13 lead jammers to only 4 leads for the Pistoffs, although the Pistoffs defense prevented the Dames from fully taking advantage of those leads. Each team had only one grand slam. The Dames lost two jammers to the penalty box, the Pistoffs only had one jammer sent to the sin bin. The half was played fairly even blocking wise, although there were lots of easy “pass throughs” for the jammers going through the packs. Also, in four different jams in the 1st half, one team or the other employed the “Sarah Hipel” strategy of lining up a blocker behind the jammers to start jams so they could quickly get their 4th minor and thus skate directly to the penalty box without having to skate all the way around the track on their way to the box.

2nd Half

The Dames jammed relatively new skater Yo-Yo vs. the Pistoffs experienced Devil Kitty to start the 2nd half, resulting in a 4-4 tie. Yo-Yo got lead jammer, scored, but didn’t call the jam soon enough and so DK was also able to score. Summers Eve-L stretched the Dames lead to 51-43 with a 4-0 win in jam 2. The Pistoffs Cookie Rumble jammed vs. Muffy Mafioso in jam 3. Cookie blocked Muffy into the infield, and then stopped. Muffy was ahead of Cookie in track position, but couldn’t re-enter without getting a cutting the track penalty. Cookie did eventually start skating again, though, and went on to a 4-0 jam win. That jam reminded me of some old “classic” derby match races. Then the Dames Racer McChaseHer scored a 9-0 win with a slam in jam 4, although there was no lead jammer. The Dames led 50-47, their biggest, and as it turned out, last lead of the evening.

The Pistoffs totally turned the game around in jams 5-10, outscoring the Dames 57-4 and shutting out the Dames in 5 of those 6 jams. First, Vega Vendetta tied the score at 60-60 with a 13-0 rout in jam 5. Vega got two slams in that jam, and was helped by two huge knockdowns of the Dames’ jammer Yo-Yo by teammate Bruisie Siouxxx. Summers Eve-L got lead for the Dames in jam 6, but could only manage a 4-4 tie with Effin’ Money. The Pistoffs Combat Cat won jam 7 by 14-0 with two slams, followed by a 4-0 win by Cookie Rumble, then jam 9 went to Effin’ Money 8-0 with a slam, then Vega Vendetta won jam 10 by 14-0 with two more slams. Suddenly, the Pistoffs were leading by 40 points at 104-64, and there were less than 9 minutes remaining on the game clock.

The Dames tried hard to get back into the game, but only mustered 7 more points the rest of the way. Racer McChaseHer won jam 12 by 4-0, then called it quickly to save time. But that time-saving was countered by the Pistoffs finding ways to waste time, such as Cookie Rumble taking her sweet old time to cross the blocker start line when lined up as a blocker, which meant the jammers couldn’t start until that last blocker crossed the blocker start line. The Pistoffs, themselves, only scored 12 points in the game’s last 8 jams, but with a 40 point lead and tremendous blocking they didn’t have to worry much about scoring.

While there wasn’t much scoring in the final 8 jams, there was still lots of hitting. One hit that really stood out was a floor-wiping knockdown of Dames jammer Muffy Mafioso by the Pistoffs Goodnight Gracie in scoreless jam 15. There was an interesting play in jam 14 when Dames jammer Vicious Vixen lost her helmet cover. She made a great move to slide in front of a couple of Pistoffs blockers to retrieve the cover from its resting place on the track. After the game, Vicious admitted she hadn’t known she had lost the cover except for hearing the announcers on the PA saying “Vicious has lost her helmet cover and so can’t score until she retrieves it!”

Also, late in the game, the Dames lined up Whiskey Soured against Mexi-Go. Both skaters are usually blockers, and they skated to a scoreless draw. Mexi-Go did get lead, and called the jam. She called it too soon, however, as the Dames Racer McChaseHer then called time out with only 3 seconds left on the game clock. That timeout allowed one more jam to take place. While the score was out of reach, the Dames were able to jam usual blocker Dizzy Devine, perhaps to give her some experience jamming. But the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble got the lead in that last jam, and just called the jam off right away to end the game.

In the 2nd half, the Pistoffs totally took charge. They had 8 lead jammers to the Dames 7 leads, but the Pistoffs scored 8 grand slams in the period (9 in the game), while holding the Dames to just 2 slams in the entire game. The Pistoffs also outscored the Dames 77-28 in the half, and won the game by 116-71.

Afterthoughts

This was the 6th meeting between these two teams, and the Pistoffs continued their mastery of the Dames as the Pistoffs have now won five of those contests. While the Pistoffs ultimately prevailed in this game, it was a very close and exciting game for the first 40 minutes. Even the stretch of the game in the 2nd half where the Pistoffs went on their 57-4 surge was exciting, if not for Dames fans. The Pistoffs had four different jammers score 19 or more points, while the Dames had Racer McChaseHer with 27 points but nobody else with more than 17 points.

The Pistoffs used to have a dominating defense in previous years, and although their defense let them down a little earlier this season, their “D” played up to the standards of their championship seasons in this game. Roller derby leagues and teams are always “rebuilding” by having to replace players who leave for various reasons. It seems the Pistoffs have finally gotten their new players up to snuff, although it occurred too late in the DDG season and so they miss the championship game this year. However, the Pistoffs are still technically league champs until there is a winner in the D-Funk Allstars vs. Pistolwhippers game on May 30, and the Pistoffs played like champions vs. the Devil’s Night Dames.

The Pistoffs also now have a lifetime overall record of 9-4 (tied with the Pistolwhippers for best in the DDG), while the Dames have fallen to a 4-10 overall mark.

Statistics

The Detroit Pistoffs were led in scoring by Effin’ Money with 31 points in 12 jams with 4 leads and 2 grand slams. Close behind was Vega Vendetta with 30 points in 6 jams with 2 leads and 4 slams, Other jammers were: Combat Cat (23 points, 5 jams, 1 lead, 3 slams); Cookie Rumble (19 pts, 6 jams, 2 leads); Devil Kitty (7 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Elle McFearsome (4 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Goodnight Gracie (2 pts, 2 jams); Mexi-Go (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead); Justass (0 pts, 1 jam).

The Devil’s Night Dames were paced by Racer McChaseHer with 27 points in 10 jams with 7 leads and 1 grand slam. Other jammers were: Summers Eve-L (17 points, 6 jams, 3 leads, 1 slam); Muffy Mafioso (12 pts, 9 jams, 4 leads); Yo-Yo (9 pts, 5 jams, 4 leads); Rock Candy (6 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Master Braider (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead); Dizzy Devine (0 pts, 1 jam); Inky Gash (0 pts, 1 jam); Vicious Vixen (0 pts, 1 jam); Whiskey Soured (0 pts, 1 jam).

The Pistoffs’ Bruisie Siouxxx was awarded game MVP. Bruisie had a total of 19 defensive “actions” which are blocks & knockdowns, plus 5 offensive actions (blocks, whips, etc). Other standouts for the Pistoffs were Elle McFearsome with a total of 39 actions, Cookie Rumble with 32 actions, Mexi-Go (21), and Combat Cat (15).

The Dames were led defensively by Racer McChaseHer with a total of 24 actions, proving once again that Racer is a top two-way player who plays defense as well as offense. Rock Candy had a solid game with 21 actions. Other notable blockers were Vicious Vixen (20) and Summers Eve-L (13).

Future

The Detroit Derby Girls will conclude their 2009 season on May 30 with their Championship Game featuring the 2007 champion Pistolwhippers versus an up-and-coming D-Funk Allstars. The Pistolwhippers defeated D-Funk 102-84 in the opening game of the 2009 season, but D-Funk has matured since then and it’s anybody’s game. The Allstars will be without experienced blocker Roxanna Hardplace, though, as she was injured in a game against Grand Raggidy on May 2. The Pistolwhippers’ Sarah Hipel also has an injury, but it would be extremely surprising if she doesn’t play in spite of the injury.

Detroit 179 vs Grand Raggidy 35

Posted on May 5, 2009

by Rusty Wheeler
Grandville, MI
May 2, 2009

The Detroit Derby Girls made it four wins in a row over the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls, but unlike the last time these two teams played, where Detroit squeaked out a 94-82 victory, this time Detroit thrashed Grand Raggidy 179-35. Detroit dominated the game in every way, and it made for a long night for the hosts and fans of Grand Raggidy.

Rather then recap this game jam by jam as is my usual fashion, I will instead write more in generalities due to the game’s lopsided nature.

1st Half

Perhaps the highlight of the game from the Grand Raggidy standpoint was the game’s opening jam which Jackie Daniels won for the home squad 3-0 to give GR an early lead. In jam 2 Sarah Hipel (formerly known as Killbox) got a 2-0 win for Detroit, and that was the last jam that saw Grand Raggidy leading on the scoreboard. In jam 3, Detroit’s boo d. livers put up a 13-0 win with a grand slam, followed by DDG’s Sista Slitchya winning jam 4 by 8-0 with a slam, and suddenly it was 23-3 for the DDG. It was off to the races for the rest of the night. Detroit outscored Grand Raggidy 77-12 in the 1st half with DDG scoring 7 grand slams. Lead jammers were evenly distributed at 10 apiece, but Detroit’s defense only allowed GR to score 5 points in those 10 jams in which GR had lead jammer.

The game was marred in jam 11 when Roxanna Hardplace was injured. I didn’t see what occurred, but the referees called off the scoreless jam when Roxanna was down on both knees on the floor outside the track and in front of the penalty boxes. After a somewhat lengthy delay in which the EMTs attended to Roxanna, she was able to walk off the floor with minimal assistance on her way to get further medical attention for what appeared to be a left shoulder injury. Both teams then received ample time to warm up again after taking a knee for the injury time. When the injury occurred, Detroit was leading it 39-7. It was looking like a repeat of the Minnesota-Grand Raggidy game of a week earlier, although Detroit never let up, and Grand Raggidy was not able to mount a comeback this time.

There was also an interesting ploy in the last jam of the 1st half. Many times blockers will line up deliberately with a skate in front of the blocker start line in order to get called for their 4th minor penalty so they can go to the penalty box early in a jam and “get it over with.” But for this jam, DDG’s Sarah Hipel instead lined up behind the jammers. That way when the jam started she was called for illegal procedure (or would it be a false start?), which was her 4th minor. But instead of having to skate all the way around the track to the penalty box from the usual blocker start line, from where she lined up behind the jammer start line she could skate directly to the box without having to pass Go, and also without presumably collecting $200. No doubt there will be a future WFTDA rule to prevent such shenanigans! By the way, this game was played under WFTDA 3.1 rules.

2nd Half

Detroit continued the pressure in the 2nd half, starting out by winning the 1st three jams by 4-2, 9-5, and 3-1 scores. Detroit scored more points in the 2nd half (102) than in the 1st, and both teams were still whacking each other pretty good. Grand Raggidy’s Jackie Daniels appeared to get roughed up a couple of times in the half. In jam 15, Jackie got knocked down in the pack and a teammate fell heavily on top of her. Play was stopped, and Jackie looked a bit shaken. Another time Jackie skated around holding her hand to her face after it appeared she caught either a finger or an elbow in her eye. Since I was recording stats I couldn’t note all of the big hits by both teams, but there were many. The hitting continued until about jam 17 (out of 19 in the half) when both teams reverted to just cruising around the track like they were at an open skate. There was no scoring in the last two jams of the game.

Detroit particularly dominated the lead jammer stats in the 2nd half, getting lead in the first 15 jams in the half, and 16 overall. Grand Raggidy were only able to get lead in 3 of the half’s last four jams.

Afterthoughts

What to say about this game, except it was sort of uncomfortable watching Detroit pound Grand Raggidy. Many skaters on both teams are friends, but in spite of that, both teams skated hard and didn’t hold back on the hitting until the very end. Grand Raggidy seems to have gotten disorganized ever since the Fall Brawl in Ft. Wayne in 2008 where they lost to an upstart Arch Rivals squad.

Grand Raggidy was once again without star jammer Mira Maheiney who has had to at least temporarily withdraw from derby due to life circumstances. I’m sure she would be welcomed back, if and when she can return to derby. I don’t believe GR has recovered from losing experienced blockers Javelin, Battleaxe, and Letha Venom to the nearby Killamazoo Derby Darlins when that league was formed in Kalamazoo a couple of years ago. Those three players lived closer to Kalamazoo than Grand Rapids, and so they decided to skate nearer to home. They do make up a deadly blocking trio, not to mention that Javelin and Letha are also quite effective jammers. One could also throw in Terrorhawk as an effective blocker that went from GR to Kzoo.

Bette Mangler was unavailable for this game for Grand Raggidy, and that also hurt as she is a blocker who likes to hit people. And I kept forgetting to ask where Angie Warhaul is as she’s not listed on the GR team web pages any more. Another good blocker that is missed.

This game was the 2nd game of a double-header between the two cities, and Grand Raggidy had to use several players in both games, in particular Disarmin’ Darlin, Keisha Mei Ash, Lindsay Blowhan, Lucy Morals, Shutter Speed, and Tone Loco. Having just skated 60 minutes versus the Motor City Disassembly Line and then having to skate another 60 against the Detroit Derby Girls All-Stars has got to be tiring!

Statistics

Detroit was led by boo d. livers with 50 points in 11 jams with 8 leads and 3 grand slams. Other Detroit jammers: Kat Von D’Stroya (43 points, 9 jams, 6 leads, 4 slams); Sarah Hipel (35 pts, 9 jams, 5 leads, 3 slams); Sista Slitchya (31 pts, 8 jams, 4 leads, 3 slams); Racer McChaseHer (20 pts, 2 jams, 2 leads, 2 slams); Elle McFearsome (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead).

Grand Raggidy was paced by Dot Matrix’s 12 points in 11 jams with 4 leads and GR’s only grand slam. Other scorers: Viva La Boom (11 pts, 8 jams, 3 leads); Jackie Daniels (8 pts, 13 jams, 4 leads); Hot New Girl (4 pts, 8 jams, 2 leads).

Don’t have any blocking stats, although Roxanna Hardplace of DDG was awarded MVP of the game.

Future

The Detroit Derby Girls All Stars next skate at Seattle on June 6.

The Grand Raggidy Roller Girls next travel to Cincinnati on May 30.

Motor City Disassembly Line 105 vs. G-Rap Attack! 92

Posted on May 5, 2009

by Rusty Wheeler
Grandville, MI
May 2, 2009

In the first half of a double-header between the “B” teams of the Detroit Derby Girls and the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls, Detroit’s Motor City Disassembly Line overcame a 16 point halftime deficit to defeat the host G-Rap Attack! by 105-92. G-Rap led 51-35 at the half, but the MCDL outscored G-Rap 70-41 in the 2nd half to rally for the win. MCDL was led by experienced jammer Effin’ Money with 48 points, 31 of those points in the 2nd half.

These two teams exist as a way for each league to have newer skaters gain experience playing against other leagues, although MCDL’s Effin’ Money, Cold Fusion, and Whiskey Soured already had beaucoup experience coming into this game. It appeared it was just the right amount of seasoning needed to help out the less experienced skaters on the squad. G-Rap also had some experienced players, namely Keisha Mei Ash, Lindsay Blowhan, Lucy Morals, Shutter Speed, and Tone Loco, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the MCDL.

1st Half

The G-Rap Attack struck first. After a scoreless opening jam, G-Rap’s Tamara Hurtsworse won jam 2 by 3-0, then GR’s Disarmin’ Darlin added a 4-0 win in jam 3. After GR got lead jammer in those first three jams, MCDL came back with 5 straight leads, but could only cut two points off GR’s lead in those jams 4-8. Combat Cat got MCDL’s first points in jam 5 with a 4-4 tie vs. Disarmin’ Darlin. Disarmin’ started that jam in the box, and Cat ended the jam in the box. After a scoreless jam 5, MCDL’s Effin’ Money edged Tamara Hurtsworse in jam 6, followed by a 4-2 jam win for Disarmin’ over Ghetto Barbie in jam 7, followed by a 3-0 win by Effin’ in jam 8. It was 17-12 for G-Rap.

G-Rap then proceeded to gain lead jammer in 6 of the next 7 jams, and outscore MCDL 26-6 in those jams. After a scoreless jam 9, Tamara Hurtsworse got a 4-0 win for GR in jam 10. Disarmin’ got the first of her two grand slams on the night in a 5-0 win in jam 11. Effin’ Money got the lead for MCDL in jam 12, but the best she could do was a 3-3 draw with Lucy Morals. GR’s Keisha Mei Ash got a 5-0 win in jam 13 (not a slam), then Disarmin’ won jam 14 by 4-3 over Combat Cat, then Keisha got a 5-0 slam win in jam 15 to extend G-Rap’s lead to 43-18. G-Rap had their largest lead of the game at 25 points.

Motor City called time out after jam 15, and must have had some energy drinks during the short break, because their Dizzy Devine skated to a 4-4 tie in jam 16 versus Lucy Morals, in spite of Dizzy starting that jam in the box. Dizzy did get lead on that jam. Dizzy had a toe-stop malfunction when she was jamming in jam 15, and she skated to the infield and tried to get the referees to stop the jam, but that was not to be. Then she skated on to the track and was sort of stationary, and was eventually sent to the box. I’m not sure what the penalty call was, and I forgot to ask afterwards or to check the penalty sheets, but that’s probably the real reason MCDL called a time-out - so they could repair her toe stop before she had to leave the box in the following jam.

In any event, MCDL’s Effin’ Money grabbed lead and quickly scored 4 points in jam 17. She could have called the jam, but instead kept going. That allowed GR’s Keisha Mei Ash to also score 4 points, but then Effin’ came around for another 4 point scoring pass and then called the jam with an 8-4 jam win. The final jam of the period was a 5-0 grand slam win by MCDL’s Combat Cat. It was sort of a strange jam as Cat went to the box early, but MCDL’s blockers were able to stymie GR’s Tamara Hurtsworse. Tamara was then sent to the box, Cat came out and was able to score her 5 points. That late rally by MCDL shaved 9 points off the GR lead and so G-Rap only led 51-35 at the half. GR had the edge in lead jammers 9-8 in the period’s 18 jams, and also controlled most of the blocking. Somehow, though, MCDL was able to stay close on the scoreboard.

2nd Half

The pace picked up to start the 2nd half, with GR’s Tamara Hurtsworse starting the half in the penalty box, MCDL’s Effin’ Money took full advantage with lead jammer, two slams, and a 14-0 jam win to cut the GR lead to 51-49. Jam 2 was without result (i.e., no scoring), and jam 3 was a 4-4 tie between Effin’ Money and Disarmin’ Darlin (Effin’ had lead). Keisha Mei Ash secured lead and a 4-2 win in jam 4 for GR, then Tamara got another lead and a 4-0 win for GR in jam 5. That put the GR lead at 63-55. That was to be the last jam in which they led, but nobody knew it then.

MCDL got lead in jams 6-8 and outscored GR 29-0 in those three jams. Ghetto Barbie started it rolling for MCDL with a 9-0 slam win in jam 6, followed by Dizzy Devine’s two slams in a 10-0 jam, capped by Effin’s 10-0 twin slam jam in jam 8. Suddenly, MCDL led by 21 at 84-63.

The Attack! didn’t just sit back, they struck back. MCDL’s Ghetto Barbie got sent to the box early in jam 9, so GR’s Disarmin’ Darlin scored a slam and 8 points before she too was sent to the box with a major for a back block on a play in which Disarmin’ was knocked down by MCDL’s Zooma Thurman. That did trim the MCDL lead to 84-71. Needless to say, jam 9 was one of the last “jammerless jams” we will see (this game was played under WFTDA 3.1 rules), and so each team had to select a new jammer from among the skaters who were remaining on the track. GR picked Lindsay Blowhan to wear the star, and MCDL countered with Whiskey Soured. Now, let’s just say that Whiskey does not sport a typical jammer’s physique–it can safely be said that Whiskey is “large and in charge.” Nonetheless, Whiskey got the lead and a 4-3 jam win, and the MCDL fans were loving it. I especially loved watching Whiskey skating for a short time with her tongue sticking out; it reminded me of old-time hockey player Eddie “the Entertainer” Shack who would frequently skate like that.

MCDL upped their lead to 92-74 when Goodnight Gracie got lead and a 4-0 win in jam 11. Jam 12 was scoreless. Tamara Hurtsworse got lead for GR but MCDL’s Combat Cat caught her and so Tamara called the jam. The Attack! edged a bit closer in jams 13-15, gaining all three lead jammers but could only outscore MCDL 8-2 in those jams. Disarmin’ Darlin won jam 13 by 2-0, then Tamara Hurtsworse won jam 14 by 4-0. Keisha Mei Ash skated to a 2-2 deadlock with Effin’ Money in jam 15. MCDL’s lead was down to 12 points at 94-82.

Jam 16 was huge for MCDL and Combat Cat as she got lead and scored 2 grand slams in a 10-0 win to put MCDL up by 104-82. It had the feeling of salting away the game, but there was still enough time for a couple more jams. MCDL’s Effin’ Money was able to eke out a 1-0 jam win over Disarmin’ Darlin in jam 17, more importantly using up some time. For the final jam of the game, MCDL lost their jammer Goodnight Gracie to the box about 30 seconds into the jam. G-Rap’s Keisha Mei Ash skated hard, earning two grand slams, but ran out of time in a 10-0 jam win that left MCDL with the 105-92 win.

Besides doubling their 1st half scoring and holding G-Rap to 10 fewer points than Half One, MCDL had more lead jammers in the 2nd half, 10-8.

Afterthoughts

This was an entertaining game. Each team led by 20 plus points at different times, although MCDL led at the end when it counted. While G-Rap had the blocking edge in the 1st half, MCDL evened that in the 2nd. This game was also played in streaks where one team would get several lead jammers in a row and outscore the opponent by a margin. The biggest of those streaks went to MCDL in jams 6-8 of the 2nd half when they outscored GR 29-0. Take away those three jams and GR wins instead. But, you must count all jams skated, and thus Motor City hangs on for the win.

I was helping out with stats-keeping in this game, and I have to say I had a little confusion at times. At least two different G-Rap skaters had large stickers on the right sides of their helmets that looked very much like the jammer’s star, although of course those stickers were visible only when those skaters weren’t wearing any helmet covers. A couple time I was about to credit Motor City blockers with a jammer knockdown, only to check to see it was instead a blocker on blocker knockdown. I would like to point out that WFTDA 4.0 rule 3.6.5.1 says: “Only the Jammer’s helmet cover may have stars on it or any marks that might be confused with stars.” Also, rule 3.6.4.1 says: “Only the Pivot’s helmet cover may have stripes on it that run the length of the helmet in any direction or any marks that might be confused with stripes.”

Statistics

Motor City’s Effin’ Money was high scorer in the game with 48 points while jamming 10 times with 8 leads (an outstanding 80% lead percentage), also scoring 4 grand slams, all in the 2nd half. Effin’ also was high in the game with a + 20 in plus/minus as a jammer. Other Motor City scorers were: Combat Cat (22 points, 11 jams, 4 leads, 3 slams); Dizzy Devine (14 pts, 3 jams, 2 leads, 2 slams); Ghetto Barbie (11 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads, 1 slam); Goodnight Gracie (6 pts, 6 jams, 1 lead); and Whiskey Soured (4 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead). I’m not certain, but that may have been the first career jam for Ms. Soured.

The G-Rap Attack! were led by a nice 1-2 combo of Disarmin’ Darlin (35 points, 10 jams, 5 leads, 2 slams, also +12 in plus/minus as a jammer) and Keisha Mei Ash (30 pts, 12 jams, 7 leads, 3 slams). Other GR scorers: Tamara Hurtsworse (17 pts, 10 jams, 5 leads); Lucy Morals (7 pts, 3 jams); and Lindsay Blowhan (3 pts, 1 jam).

Sorry, don’t yet have any blocking stats.

Future

The Motor City Disassembly Line next returns to action on July 18 at the Chicago Outfit.

The G-Rap Attack!’s next game is May 30 at Cincinnati.

D-Funk Allstars Defeat Detroit Pistoffs 112-57

Posted on March 22, 2009

by AK-40 oz. - March 14, 2009

“boo, how does it feel to be going to the Championship?”
“It’s about time!”
No other sentiment could have better capped the action as the D-Funk All Stars defeated the reigning Champion Detroit Pistoffs 112-57 at the Masoic Temple Drill Hall for the first time in their 4 seasons.  The much-beleaguered D-Funkers had struggled for 3 years, and until now were the only team not to make a Championship game.  After going 0-4 last season, they shrugged it off, changed their jerseys and added some new talent.  The Pistoffs have seen their fortune reversed, losing veteran skaters Bikini Killer, Rude Awakening, Smashing Darling (out for season), and Effin’ Money who made her return against the D-Funk.  The Funkers started the bout just like they had finished the previous one (victory over the Dames), controlling lead jammer and racking up points.

boo d. livers (MVP, Jammer of the Game) kicked off the night with a devastating double-grand slam and they kept coming until the last whistle blew.  All said, boo d. put up 60 points, both a personal best and the watermark for a epic jamming performance accomplished only by a handful of the finest jammers.  Rookie Sista Slit’chya (25 points) and vet Ima Wrecker (23) contributed to the D-Funk total, which was capped off by Roxanna Hardplace’s (4) second half-opening jam.  Roxanna (Offensive Player of the Game), Polly Fester (Defensive Player oft of the Game), Black Eyed Skeez (31 attacks, +60), and captain Fatal Femme (15 assists/14 attacks) led the pack to completely dominate the Pistoffs.  D-Funk had solid performances deep into their bench including standouts Cat’s Meow, Tinja, and rookie ZOOMa Thurman who all put up excellent numbers in the pack.  D-Funk tallied 60 more attacks than the ladies in blue, and had 19 shutout jams of the 35 in the game.  After the first half it was 70-18 in favor of the “green machine.”

The Pistoffs more than doubled their scoring in the second half but the Funk held them to the lowest score in DDG history.  The Pistoffs scoring was led by Elle McFearsome (24 points) who looked 100% back from her injury, and augmented by the returning Effin’ Money (13), Cookie Rumble (10), and Vega Vendetta (10).  Combat Cat and Devil Kitty combined for 8 jams but 0 points against the green wall of Funk.  Pack standouts for the Pistoffs were Bruisie Siouxxx, Cookie Rumble and Elle McFearsome on both offense and defense (30 assists and 63 attacks altogether), and they got some solid help on defense from Maim West (12 attacks, 2 knockdowns) and promising performances from rookies Lottie Guts (6 assists/6 attacks) and Mexi-Go (6/7).  The Pistoffs showed they’ve got up and coming talent, they just won’t have their names engraved on the trophy this year.  As captain Cookie Rumble has been heard to say “Oh, that’s okay we only win Championships on even years!”

The Pistoffs will head to the Race for Third Place against the favorite foes - The Devil’s Night Dames.  The defending Champs defeated the Dames 3 bouts in a row to finish 2008 and open 2009, but with all the roster changes, this one’s anyone’s game!  Grudge match time, and it’s always fun to see these two foes go at it.  Come down and check out the rematch of the 2008 Championship, this time for braggin’ rights, on May 9th.

When it was all over tears and beers (of joy) followed, but the party was short-lived because now the D-Funk All Stars prepare to face their most difficult opponent in the Pistolwhippers.  They’ve never beaten the ‘Whippers, but this time they’re on fire and it’s for the DDG Championship!  Only one step remains in both their journeys to the RS Cup.  Who will stand victorious and see their name hanging from the rafters on the 2009 Championship banner?  Who will be knocked into the suicide seats and lose their hopes of hoisting the martini girl?  Come find out May 30th - tickets on sale now!

Detroit Derby Girls Bout IV and Mid-Season Draft Recap

Posted on February 27, 2009

By  AK-40 oz.Saturday night the Drill Hall shook with excitement as the largest and loudest crowd Detroit derby has ever experienced witnessed the D-Funk All Stars break their losing streak with a 103-91 victory over the Devil’s Night Dames.  The D’s Fire Marshall opened up 100 more tickets (which sold promptly) to the Masonic Temple’s derby den and it was filled with rowdy fans who roared from roster announcements to the last whistle.  The downtrodden Funkers came in with the same record as the Dames, 0-1 so far in ‘09, but also bore the weight of a winless 2008 season.  In fact the D-Funk hadn’t won since their first bout of Season 2 back in 2007.  Their only 2 recorded wins were against the Dames in ’06 and ’07, and since had gone winless in 7 bouts and nearly 2 full years.  Both teams surged strong in the beginning and a back and forth battle lasted the initial jams until the D-Funkers gained their bearings and started to pull away.  Frustration and early penalty trouble snowballed for the Devil’s Night Dames into a hefty deficit by the end of the first half and they found the Funk up 63-31 in what looked like a possible runaway victory.  A last-jam push gained them only a pair of points, but also a nice little spark of momentum going into the locker room.

      Twenty minutes of New Orlean’s style zydeco music and hoola-hooping kids later the teams were back, and though the Dames were skating with only 11 bodies, they showed great endurance and that signature flame as they started wearing down the lead.  Slowly but surely they made progress against a wide rotation of D-Funk jammers, and once the penalty troubles shifted to the Funk, the Dames pushed hard, and Racer McChaseHer put up a 15-point jam to decimate the D-Funk lead.  The Dames were within striking distance but the D-Funk pack play wowed the crowd and ensured that they wouldn’t give up that edge.  Captains Fatal Femme and Roxanna Hardplace looked every bit the all-star duo of blockers up front, and when working with original DDG skaters Tinja, Cat’s Meow, Black Eyed Skeez and a number of other “Green Machine” blockers they shut down the Dames’ jammers when they were down by 10 with three jams to go.  The D-Funk dominated lead jammer and though the Dames got close to tying it up, they couldn’t penetrate the wall of neon green and shimmer silver.  In the last two, the penalty troubles put the D-Funk All Stars in a tough spot and with a chance at tying or winning in the last jam (albeit a long shot of a chance), Racer McChaseHer simply couldn’t pull it out after a stunning game and what was assuredly a tiring effort to carry her team.  The Dames fell just short of keeping a chance to head to the Championship for a third straight year alive.  The Funk exploded as soon as the jam ended, and with the weight of 3 losing seasons lifted in one night, they were ready to head to that long awaited victory afterparty.

     Outstanding individual performances abounded on both sides that night.  The Dames’ rookie core showed great promise and coupled with their strong mid-season draft on Monday, it’s evident they’re looking to 2010 and not going to let their current 0-4 streak get them down.  Captain Racer McChaseHer said “Yeah, we’re definitely looking at next year.  The Pistoffs better watch out, because we’re taking it next season!”  Racer was referring to the oft-told joke in Detroit that the Pistoffs win every even-numbered year (undefeated Champs in ’06 and ’08), and take the subsequent one off.  Rookies Fifi La Foe, Dizzy Devine and Spanish Ass’assin looked like seasoned vets in the pack.  Muffy Mafioso, though brutalized by the massive Funk attack, showed great resolve and visibly improved her strategy throughout the game.  The Dames also had a standout performance from Vicious Vixen (lead all blockers in both offense and defensive averages, earned Offensive Blocker of the Game), as well as Racer who rocked on both sides of the jammer line (4.11 points per jam, 1.63 actions/jam).

The D-Funk All Stars all showed up in great form, but special attention is deserved by MVP Polly Fester who’s speedy jamming and great strategic blocking backed up the impressive team play by the Funk (31 points, 11 attacks).  Roxanna Hardplace, flag skater and MVP of the most recent Detroit vs Arch Rival game, wowed again with huge hits (7 knockdowns) and great awareness (32 attacks).  boo d. livers, who was heard to say afterwards that she was unhappy with her performance, as the Dames targeted her especially when she sported the star, still put up great numbers with a 4.0 ppj (40 points) and 70% lead as well as a +21 jamming.  When told she was named Jammer of the Game she was shocked, and could only smile when a nearby teammate commented “yeah, just think how high her numbers will be when she has a GOOD game!”

The gray clouds over them finally cleared out the D-Funkers are seeing only blue, but that blue is of a dreaded hue.  On March 14th their next hurdle comes as they shift from devils to blue dresses and face the defending Champion Detroit Pistoffs.  They’ll fight the Funk for the chance to face the 2-0 Pistolwhippers in the Championship going down in May.  The Pistoffs, of course, are no strangers to the big dance and with the additions of mid-season re-acquisition Effin’ Money and new blocker Jen Ann Tonic to their injury-depleted lineup, it could be the shot they need to beat the amped up Funk.  The D-Funk All Stars are hungry for the win and a chance to take on the Pistolwhippers (who edged them out by only 18 points in their first bout of the season) again, and because they have never beaten Captain Cookie Rumble’s Pistoffs.  D-Funk’s full bench and 2nd place seeding only garnered them one draft pick, third overall, but shored up their defense with the pick of promising blocker Holly Hitsville.  The D-Funk All Stars will lose vet blocker Fanny Pack for the rest of the season (injury) and the Pistoffs retire rookie SnapHer.  Longtime Pistoffs Soldier Doll and Wanda Throwdown join Smashing Darling on long-term reserve, and will sit the rest of the season.

The Devil’s Night Dames may be out of the running for the RS Cup, but with only 11 skaters and a last place standing they got the first overall draft pick in the speedy Yo-Yo, and a handful of other exciting additions.  Their new blood includes San Diego transfer Ann Atomic and pure rookies Inky Gash, Master Braider, and Tess Tackles.  Altogether their rookies total 11 of their 16 skaters for the rest of the season.  The Dames bid adieu to retiring vet and defensive presence Loretta Synn who spent her 3 ½ seasons as a core player for the team. They’ll be taking on the “Maroon Monsoon,” the dreaded and currently undefeated Pistolwhippers, in April.  The ‘Whippers are a team of serious vets and monster Travel Teamers, with a few hard-hitting rookies.  With the trident of Honey Suckit, Kat Von D’Stroya and Sarah Hipel jamming they’ve been unstoppable and are +69 overall in two games (2nd place D-Funk follows with a -6 on the season).  The rest of the ‘Whippers are known for stunning defense, and they’ve added tough blocker Mega Bloxx to their ’09 class of Karma Shoot’Ya and Cool Whip.  With their first round pick the ‘Whippers went with a possible jammer or blocker in Jackie O’Noyoudidnt.  The ‘Whippers are losing rookie prospects Demona and Kristi YamaGotcha, and TT vet Sass Knuckles will sit the rest of the season out with a pregnancy.

Tickets are on sale now for the rest of the season at www.ticketmaster.com and our local outlets.  Also, don’t forget the Detroit Derby Girls Travel Team continues their ’09 push for the Hydra against the #2 Windy City Rollers on March 28th at the Masonic Temple in Detroit.  Don’t miss our historic 50th bout when Chicago and Detroit finally meet on the hardwood!

Photos credited to Colin J. 

Pistoffs sneak by Pistolwhippers, 77-67

Posted on January 14, 2008

by Rusty Wheeler — Jan 13, 2008

The Detroit Pistoffs trailed most of the way, but they mounted a late comeback to finally defeat the Pistolwhippers 77-67 in a very defensive struggle in the Drill Hall at the Masonic Temple in Detroit, Michigan on Saturday, January 12, in a game played in front of an oversold crowd. Although the Pistolwhippers were without two of their best skaters, Honey Suckit and Killbox, they led 34-25 after the first period and 49-41 at the 2nd intermission. The ‘Whippers continued to hold the lead until the 9th jam of the final period when the Pistoffs took the lead and then held it until the end of the contest. This game set a Detroit Derby Girls record with the lowest combined score. The Pistoffs have always been the most defensive oriented of the DDG teams, and they showed why.

Going into this game, some people wondered if the Pistolwhippers would have any chance at all, as the ‘Whippers were without Honey Suckit and Killbox, the 2nd and 3rd highest regular season scorers in DDG history. Killbox is also a very hard-nosed defender, leading the league in most penalties and fairly earning her “most feared skater” in the DDG for two years in a row. But, derby must go on, even without all of a team’s skaters, and in that respect the Pistolwhippers team managers Scarlette Fever and Jam Onya (assisted for this game by Honey and Killbox) did a commendable job in motivating their skaters to “hang tough” with the Pistoffs. The ‘Whippers did also have the services of Rock Candy, a veteran two-way player who was subbing courtesy of the Devil’s Night Dames. It should also be noted that the Pistoffs were missing veteran blocker Smashing Darling who was sidelined with an injury.

Cassie Corridor opened the scoring in the 1st jam of period 1, outscoring the Pistoffs Rude Awakening to give the ‘Whippers a quick 4-0 lead. But then Effin’ Money tied it for the Pistoffs in the 2nd jam at 4-4. Jam 3 saw the Pistoffs go ahead 8-7 as Vega Vendetta bested Rock Candy 4-3. That was to be the last Pistoffs lead until very late in the game. In jam 4, Kat Von D’Stroya scored a Grand Slam and a 5-0 jam over Effin’ Money, and the ‘Whippers led 12-8. The highest scoring jam of the 1st period came in jam 11 when the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble and ‘Whippers Del Bomber skated to an 8-8 jam in a jam that had no lead jammer and so went the full 2 minutes. The period was fairly evenly played, the ‘Whippers got 6 lead jams to the Pistoffs 5 leads. Kat Von D’Stroya jammed four times, getting lead each of those jams, and outscored the Pistoffs 10-0 in those jams. And she usually got lead jam within 15 seconds of the start of the jam. In jam 6, Kat had lead jammer but got sent to the penalty box after scoring 2 points. Her teammates held off the Pistoffs jammer, Violet-N-Deed, for the full two minute jam without allowing Violet to score. In the period, whichever jammer managed to get lead jammer would come around and score and then call the jam before the other jammer could score. The entire period was close blocking, the Pistoffs failing to score in 6 of the 12 jams, and the ‘Whippers being held scoreless in 3 jams.

In period 2, Cassie Corridor of the ‘Whippers got lead jammer in the 1st jam, but got knocked down and couldn’t call it off before the Pistoffs Effin’ Money scored a point. The Pistolwhippers built their lead to 16 points, 44-28, after 5 jams although the Pistoffs did somewhat close the gap and the ‘Whippers led by only 8 points at the end of the 2nd period. This period was even more defensive than the 1st, with the Pistoffs outscoring the Pistolwhippers in the period by a 16-15 margin. The ‘Whippers were shutout in 8 of the 13 jams, and the Pistoffs were blanked in 7 jams. Vega Vendetta did manage to skate to a 7-0 advantage for the Pistoffs in jam 6 when the ‘Whippers Cassie Corridor got sent to the box. That jam also featured a hard blindside hit by the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble on Holly Crap. But most of the rest of the jams were merely an exercise in blocking if not in scoring. I noted at the time that the first two periods featured “slow grinding defense.” There was a brief scare in jam 5 when the Pistoffs Elle McFearsome got knocked down in the pack and got (accidentally) kicked in the helmet. She was a little slow to get up after that, but then did arise and appeared to be OK the rest of the game.

The 3rd period got more lively, and really got the crowd fired up. Effin’ Money tried to start a Pistoffs comeback in jam 1 with a 4-1 win over Rock Candy. After a scoreless 2nd jam, Cassie Corridor took advantage of the Pistoffs jammer Effin’ Money going to the penalty box and dealt a 6-3 jam win for the Pistolwhippers to regain an 8 point lead, 56-48, at that point. And in the next two jams, the ‘Whippers fans were getting delirious as the ‘Whippers Del Bomber and Kat Von D’Stroya outscored the Pistoffs 8-0 to get to a 64-48 lead, tying the ‘Whippers biggest lead of the game at 16 points. But then Pistoffs Captain Cookie Rumble took charge of the game in jam 6, outscoring Cassie Corridor 9-0 to cut the ‘Whippers lead to 64-57. It was the turn of the Pistoffs fans to start cheering loudly. Then in jams 7, 9, and 10 the Pistoffs jammers Effin’ Money, Elle McFearsome, and Effin’ (again) rang up 16 Pistoffs points while the Pistoffs blockers were shutting out the ‘Whippers in those jams. The Pistoffs jammers scored Grand Slams in the last two of those jams. Suddenly, the Pistoffs, who had been trailing by 16 points, were in the lead 73-64. In the middle of that run, in jam 8, the Pistolwhippers started the jam with their jammer in the box, and then Pistoffs jammer Cookie Rumble got whistled to the box only a few seconds after the jam started, so play was stopped (the rules say you can’t continue a jam with both jammers in the penalty box, besides, there’s no point in playing without jammers!) and each team had to pick a player from the track to become their jammer in a new jam. Time was now running short for the Pistolwhippers, but they gave it a game try until the end. The ‘Whippers Kat Von D’Stroya got lead jammer in jam 11 but was only able to skate to a 3-3 tie against Cookie Rumble. Then the Pistoffs got lead jammer in the final two jams of the period and were able to call the jams just when the ‘Whippers got within smelling distance of the pack and so the ‘Whippers could not score to close the gap. The game ended in a win for the Pistoffs by a 77-67 score, although the Pistolwhippers gave them a scare and a skate for their money! And even though the teams fought down to the wire, they skated a fairly clean game as exemplified just before the final jam of the game when jammers Cookie Rumble and Del Bomber exchanged pleasantries just before the whistle blew and they then started trying to out skate the other.

Leading scorer in the game was Effin’ Money of the Pistoffs with 30 points while jamming 14 times, getting 6 leads and scoring 2 Grand Slams. Other Pistoffs scorers: Cookie Rumble (20 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads, 1 slam); Vega Vendetta (15 pts, 5 jams, 3 leads, 1 slam); Elle McFearsome (9 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads, 1 slam); Violet-N-Deed (2 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads); Justass (1 pt, 3 jams, 1 lead); Rude Awakening (0 pts, 1 jam). The Pistolwhippers got fairly even scoring from a four jammer rotation, lead by Cassie Corridor with 20 points in 11 jams with 6 leads. Other Pistolwhippers scorers: Del Bomber (17 pts, 6 jams, 3 leads); Kat Von D’Stroya (16 pts, 10 jams, 7 leads, 3 slams); Rock Candy (14 pts, 10 jams, 3 leads).

Leading blocker of the game was Most Valuable Player of the game Cookie Rumble of the Pistoffs with 27 defensive blocks and 22 assists. Bikini Killer also skated another fine defensive game for the Pistoffs with 21 blocks and 11 assists. The Pistolwhippers Diesel Doll was outstanding with 30 defensive blocks as was Cold Fusion with 23 blocks and 10 assists.

The Pistoffs are now pretty well assured of regaining a trip to the championship game to attempt to regain their championship they last won in 2006 as they lead the league with a 2-0 record. They have one remaining game vs. the Devil’s Night Dames on April 12. The Pistolwhippers are all but eliminated from maintaining their current 2007 championship as they are now 0-2, with one game remaining vs. the D-Funk Allstars on March 8. The ‘Whippers must win their game and then hope that both D-Funk and the Pistoffs can defeat the Dames in order for the ‘Whippers to have a chance to return to the championship game for 2008. The DDG championship will be decided between the two teams with the best record. That championship game will be played on May 10.

The next DDG game is Saturday, February 9, featuring the 1-0 Devil’s Night Dames with Racer McChaseHer vs. the 0-1 D-Funk Allstars of Black Eyed Skeez. The D-Funk won the first two matches between these two teams, 146-102 in 2006 and 204-131 in 2007, so it promises to be a high-scoring game. Come down to the Drill Hall in the historic Masonic Temple in downtown Detroit, Michigan and enjoy every hard-hitting, fast-skating jam! Doors open at 6:00pm, game starts at 7:00pm. Tickets are $12 in advance, and $15 at the door. The January 12 game was sold out, so buy your tickets early to avoid getting shut out of watching your favorite sport–derby! Children 12 and younger are free with an adult. Check out http://www.detroitderbygirls.com for more information.

2008 Detroit Derby Girls regular season game 2: Detroit Pistoffs 102

Posted on December 10, 2007

– December 8, 2007
– Masonic Temple, Detroit, MI
– by Rusty Wheeler

While it wasn’t quite a case of “old age and treachery overcoming youth and skill,” the superior experience of the Detroit Pistoffs enabled them to easily defeat the D-Funk Allstars 102-59 in the Drill Hall at the Masonic Temple in Detroit, Michigan. Going into the game, the Pistoffs roster featured 11 players with a total of 94 derby games of experience, while D-Funk had only 10 players on wheels with a total of 29 games of experience. And 14 of those experience-games belonged to team captain Black Eyed Skeez. The Allstars had to borrow Kat Von D’Stroya from the Pistolwhippers just to have 10 players for the game, as they were missing Juicy Contusion and Tiny Ninja due to injuries, and assistant captain Cat’s Meow is on maternity leave. The Allstars were also hard hit in the off season when they lost four experienced skaters to other teams. The Allstars had five rookies (Eight Mile Rose, Fatal Femme, Polly Fester, Roxanna Hardplace, Seoul Slayer) in their
lineup compared to only two “fresh meat” (Beaver Fever, Violet-N-Deed) for the Pistoffs.

But derby is derby, and teams must compete with what they have. That being said, the D-Funk Allstars made a good accounting of themselves in the game’s opening period. Rookie Polly Fester jammed for D-Funk in the opening jam against the Pistoffs Rude Awakening. Polly got lead jammer when the Allstars Fatal Femme took a well earned major penalty by wiping out the Pistoffs jammer, thus also enabling Polly to score a
grand slam and a 5-0 lead for the Allstars. The Pistoffs Elle McFearsome countered in jam 2, passing easily through the pack on the inside and scoring a grand slam of her own in a 9-3 jam over Ima Wrecker to give the Pistoffs a 9-8 lead. Then it was Polly Fester’s
turn again in jam 3, besting former D-Funker Vega Vendetta 4-1 and flipping the score to 12-10 for the Allstars. Polly got the lead, scored, and quickly called off the jam, just the way the derby textbooks say to do it (that is, if there were any derby textbooks around!). In the 5th jam of the opening period, Kat Von D’Stroya leaped over Elle McFearsome’s attempted leg block to score another 4-1 jam for the Allstars, putting the D-Funk lead back at five points, 16-11. Then after the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble and D-Funk’s Roxanna Hardplace skated to a 3-3 deadlock in jam 6, the Pistoffs Vega Vendetta jammed three
times consecutively (spending a minute in the penalty box along the way), outscoring the D-Funk 15-7 in those jams to put the Pistoffs back on top, 29-26. The Pistoffs couldn’t score in the final three jams of the period, while Polly Fester scored a 4-0 jam in jam 11 to make the score at the first intermission 30-29 for the D-Funk. Things were looking OK for the Allstars at that point, and it looked like their rookies would be able to skate with the Pistoffs.

As compared to the opening game of the ’08 DDG season when the Devil’s
Night Dames defeated the Pistolwhippers 151-138, and where the jammers eschewed calling off jams and instead went around for second and third scoring passes even though that allowed the opposition jammer to also score, in the 1st period of this Pistoffs-Allstars game the jammers were almost universally getting lead jammer status, scoring, and then
calling the jam before the other jammer could score. Each team had five leads, and two jams went the full two minutes without a lead jammer. And there was some nice blocking in the period. In jam 8, the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble wiped out the D-Funk jammer Damsel Distresser, causing Damsel to get stuck in the pack while the Pistoffs jammer Vega Vendetta was able to come out of the penalty box and circle the track. And then
on that same jam Cookie’s sister, Elle McFearsome, tripped Damsel. Elle received her 4th minor penalty which sent her to the box, but Damsel did not score on that jam. The final jam of the 1st period started with only 55 seconds left on the clock, and the Pistoffs Rude Awakening got lead, but was passed by the Allstars Kat Von D’Stroya. Rude then waited
until Kat got near the back of the pack and then adroitly called the jam.

In the 2nd period, the Pistoffs asserted themselves and had their way with the Allstars. Rude Awakening jammed the 1st jam versus Black Eyed Skeez. Rude got lead, Skeez got stuck in the pack, Rude scored, then called the jam winning the jam 4-0 and putting the Pistoffs in front to stay, leading at that time 33-30. Effin’ Money made it another 4-0 jam
over Polly Fester and the Allstars in the 2nd jam, giving the Pistoffs a 37-30 lead. And it got far worse for the D-Funkers after that. In the 2nd period, the Pistoffs outscored D-Funk by a 42-6 margin, shutting D-Funk out in nine of the period’s 12 jams. The Pistoffs were aided in that by grabbing lead in nine jams to only two leads for D-Funk. And
the hits just kept on comin’ in the period. The 3rd jam was scoreless between Black Eyed Skeez and Vega Vendetta, and during that jam Skeez was abusing Vega behind the pack. It wasn’t until there were only 26 seconds left in that jam when Skeez finally got lead for D-Funk, and there wasn’t enough time to jet around the pack to score. Kat Von D’Stroya got the only other lead for D-Funk in jam 5, although she had to survive a hard hit from Cookie Rumble. In that jam, the Pistoffs Devil Kitty picked up a major penalty for taking Kat down from behind, and before Kat could recover and call the jam, she was outscored 4-3 by the opportunistic Vega Vendetta. In jam 8, Cookie Rumble bounced Polly Fester off the hardwood. In jam 9, Polly was jamming for D-Funk and got sent to the box. The Pistoffs blockers astutely slowed the pack to make it easier for their jammer Vega Vendetta to come around and score a grand slam. And the D-Funkers were dishing out the hits, too. In jam 11, Vega was lead jammer but was passed by Roxanna Hardplace who then was banished to the penalty box leaving the Allstars without a jammer. Vega had scored seven points on that jam when Black Eyed Skeez sent Vega flying off the track, almost landing in the announcer’s table. Instead of getting up and continuing, Vega decided she had enough points for that jam and called it off. And then in the final jam of the
period, jam 12, the Pistoffs Bikini Killer wasted Roxanna when Roxanna came out of the penalty box, driving poor Ms. Hardplace into the media seating. After two periods, the Pistoffs easily led 71-36.

The D-Funk Allstars rebounded somewhat in the 3rd period and played theDetroit Pistoffs somewhat evenly. Each team got lead in five of the 11 jams, and although the Pistoffs had the edge in scoring 31-23 in the period, it was still hard-hitting derby action throughout. Polly Fester tried to get her team back into it with a 5-0 grand slam jam to open the period, but then Elle McFearsome answered for the Pistoffs with a 7-1 grand slam jam of her own. The Pistoffs got three more grand slams later in the period from Elle, Cookie Rumble, and Effin’ Money, while Polly and Ima Wrecker slammed the Pistoffs twice more. The blockers continued hitting anything that moved on the track right to the very end, and on the very last jam with about 29 seconds left in the game, D-Funk’s Ima Wrecker got sent to the penalty box. The Pistoffs Bikini Killer waved a “bye bye” to Ima as she left the track. At the end of the game, the scoreboard said it all: Detroit Pistoffs 102, D-Funk
Allstars 59.

For the statistically minded, the Pistoffs Vega Vendetta led all scorers with 41 points while jamming 14 times. She got lead 6 times, and tallied 1 grand slam. Other Pistoffs scorers: Elle McFearsome (25 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads, 3 slams); Effin’ Money (20 pts, 7 jams, 6 leads,
1 slam); Cookie Rumble (12 pts, 4 jams, 2 leads, 1 slam); Rude Awakening (4 pts, 4 jams, 2 leads); Violet-N-Deed (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead). Polly Fester led the D-Funk with a fine rookie performance of 25 points in 12 jams, 4 leads, and 3 grand slams. Other D-Funk scorers:
Ima Wrecker (13 pts, 6 jams, 3 leads, 1 slam); Kat Von D’Stroya (12 pts, 5 jams, 3 leads); Roxanna Hardplace (6 pts, 7 jams); Eight Mile Rose (3 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead); Black Eyed Skeez (0 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Damsel Distresser (0 pts, 2 jams).

The Pistoffs Elle McFearsome was named Most Valuable Player of the game. Besides scoring 25 points, Elle also racked up 26 defensive blocks, 8 assists, and was a plus 45 for the game while skating in 57% of the jams. Her sister Cookie Rumble also skated a typically outstanding game, with 12 points, 34 defensive blocks, 15 assists, plus 49 while skating in 74% of the jams. The Pistoffs also relied on their experienced blocking corps of Bikini Killer (36 blocks, 74%), Smashing Darling (28 blocks, 57%), and Rude Awakening (24 blocks, 57%). Rookies Violet-N-Deed and Beaver Fever only skated in 23% and 11% of the jams respectively.

For the D-Funk, Black Eyed Skeez had a very strong game with 36 defensive blocks while skating in a phenomenal 83% of the jams. Rookie Fatal Femme skated in 71% of the jams for D-Funk while earning 24 blocks and Damsel Distresser tabulated 30 blocks while skating 60% of the jams. Other D-Funk rookies gained a lot of track time in this game.
Polly Fester skated in 54% of the jams, Roxanna Hardplace 51%, Eight Mile Rose 40%, and Seoul Slayer 17%.

Although they were beaten by 43 points, D-Funk captain Black Eyed Skeez did a pretty good job assembling a raw bunch of recruits in the past few months and turning them into a derby team. Aside from the disastrous 2nd period, they did manage to win the 1st period and only lost the 3rd period by eight points. With a bit more experience for their rookies, the D-Funk can only move up in the standings.

The Pistoffs are now in the lead for the 2008 DDG regular season with a 1-0 record and a +43 points differential. The Devil’s Night Dames are also 1-0, but are only +13 so they are technically in second place. The Pistolwhippers are third at 0-1 and -13, while the D-Funk Allstars are last at 0-1 and -43.

The next DDG regular season game is on Saturday, January 12, when the Detroit Pistoffs return to action vs. the Pistolwhippers. These two teams have met twice before. The first meeting was for the 2006 DDG Championship which the Pistoffs won 121-113. The Pistolwhippers won the rematch in the 2007 regular season 125-122. So who will win is anyone’s guess. You can see all of the action for yourself by coming out to the Masonic Temple in Detroit, Michigan. Doors open at 6:00 pm, action starts on the track at 7:00 pm. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. Check out http://www.detroitderbygirls.com for more info.

Photos here

Mitten Kittens Victorious at Fall Brawl

Posted on November 29, 2007

Nov. 26, 2007 - AK-40oz.

Michigan’s Finest attended the first ever Fall Brawl this Saturday and took home the sterling silver! The tournament saw the first of the Kittens in official bout play, and they came with the ferocity there were shades of when they faced the Windy City Rollers. Featuring a mixed all-star lineup (Grand Raggidy: Dot Matrix, Jackie Daniels, Bette Mangler, Vindicator, Lil Ha Ha, and Lindsay Blowhan/Detroit: Cookie Rumble, Bikini Killer, Vega Vendetta, Devil Kitty, Kat Von D Stroya, and “The Phenom” Racer McChaseHer) the Kittens pounced on the opposition right out of the bag.

Facing the Rockford Rage travel team the Kittens jumped ahead and took the first round 74-7 with a well-rounded assault from primary jammers Racer, Jackie and Dot. In the second round the kittens faced off against Cincinnatti Rollergirls, new members of WFTDA. Cincinnati bested the Ft. Wayne Flying Squirrel squad and looked to be one of the top contenders of the tournament. Cincinnati’s big blockers and hard-hitting defense, with speedy jammer Sadistic Sadie, batted the Kittens back and forth. With the clock winding down, Cincinnati had managed to wear down the Kittens and take the lead. Having faced penalty trouble, they called a timeout, the fired up and came out furiously with the big cats.

With under 1 minute remaining, the Cincinnati girls had the lead again by two and Cookie, Bikini, Dot and Jackie lined up with Racer looking to grab at least enough points to send the bout into overtime. Thanks to some fantastic teamwork and the game breaking jamming of McChaseHer they caught 4 points before time was up, and advanced to the finals. Cincinnati took third in the tournament and definitely made an impression on everyone on the tourney as a team to watch for.

After the nerve-wracking last minute victory the Kittens started the Championship against hosts Ft. Wayne’s Bomb Squad travel team with a barrage of hitting and a strong jammer rotation to take an early lead and try to get some quick points before Ft. Wayne could make adjustments. Having played 2 bouts already the Mitten Kitten skaters seemed more confident and comfortable working with their nemesisters from across the Great Lakes State, and played incredibly strong together. The Bomb Squad had beaten the Hammer City girls of Hamilton Ontario and the Rebelles from Grand Rapids, both great showings for the Ft.Wayne team. They fought hard to the end, but the Kittens had figured out their rhythm and struck hard and early and never let up. The final saw the Kittens with 98 and the Bomb Squad with 16, and with wins over two tough, young WFTDA teams the Kittens emerged victorious as the first ever Fall Brawl Champions!

Though we don’t know when the Kittens will strike next, both Grand Rapids and Detroit will feature bouts with most of the tournament’s skaters. This Friday (Nov 30th) Kittens and Blue Collar Broads Jackie Daniels, Dot Matrix, Bette Mangler, Mira Maheiney, Lindsay Blowhan and Lil Ha Ha will face off against fierce rivals The Roustabout Rollers and MK assister extraordinare, The Vindicator. www.gr-rollergirls.com

Captain Cookie Rumble, Devil Kitty, Vega Vendetta, Bikini Killer and the rest of the Detroit Pistoffs kick off their intra-league season against the D-Funk All Stars and Kittens Black Eyed Skeez and Polly Fester (MVP vs Windy City) on December 8th at the Masonic Temple in Detroit. www.detroitderbygirls.com

2008 DDG Season Opener: Devil’s Night Dames 151 vs. Pistolwhippers 138

Posted on November 13, 2007

– November 10, 2007
– Masonic Temple, Detroit, MI
– by Rusty Wheeler

In a rematch of the two teams who battled for the 2007 Detroit Derby Girls championship, the runners-up of 2007, the Devil’s Night Dames, outscored last season’s champs, the Pistolwhippers, to win a wild shootout by a 151-138 score. Last season’s Rookie of the Year, Racer McChaseHer, led the way for the Dames by scoring 78 points, breaking her old league record of most points in a game. Also for the Dames, Vicious Vixen, who previously skated for the D-Funk Allstars, tallied 44 points and played very determinedly on defense, punishing many Whippers with devastating hits. Vicious had played 14 previous games overall with the DDG, and had only scored six points on five jams. A fine effort was wasted for the Whippers by their assistant captain, Killbox, who jammed to the tune of 63 points, her personal best and putting her over the 400 points career mark. It was also the 5th best tally by any DDG jammer in any game. Killbox also delivered many hard hits in the game, proving again why she is one of the best two-way players in the DDG.

While the game featured many hard hits, it also saw most lead jammers declining to call off jams after they had scored to prevent the other team’s jammer from scoring. Instead, the lead jammers almost always went around for another pass. And in spite of some fast-skating packs, the jammers were absolutely whizzing around the track at a frightful pace and would catch the pack to rack up more points.

The very first jam of the game set the tone of what was to come. The Whippers’ Killbox matched up against the Dames’ Rock Candy, and the jam was scored 7-7. Then it was the Dames’ Racer McChaseHer besting Del Bomber 9-4, with a grand slam, in jam 2 to give the Dames a 16-11 lead. Del was the lead jammer, but didn’t call the jam. In the 4th jam, the Dames’ Vicious Vixen, in her first jam of the game, outscored Kat Von D’Stroya 12-4 with two grand slams. Vicious did finally call off the jam when she was floored by a vicious hit by the Whippers Holly Crap. That gave the Dames a 31-18 lead. In jam 7, Killbox got tossed in the box with a major penalty for wiping out the Dames jammer Dire Skates on a large hit, but it allowed the Dames Honey Suckit to get lead jammer and score a 4-0 jam. After 12 jams total, the 1st period ended in favor of the Dames, 49-40.

The second period was even more high-scoring than the first. In spite of the Dames using the slogan “burn it down!,” it was the Whippers who were on fire to start the period. In the 1st jam, the Dames lost their lead jammer, Lady Macdeath, to the box, so the Whippers’ Honey Suckit then proceeded to rack up a 16-0 jam, with three grand slams. Honey adroitly didn’t call the jam with the opposition being jammerless, but skated hard for the full two minutes, even passing on the inside right at the very end of the jam to score a couple of more points. That put the Whippers in front for the first time in the game, 56-49. The 2nd jam was Killbox vs. Racer again, and that jam was a 12-12 affair. But then instead of burnin’ it down, the Dames put out the Whippers fire in the next three jams, outscoring the Whippers 11-0 to regain the lead at 72-68. Vicious Vixen pulled off another outstanding jam for the Dames in jam 6, outscoring Diesel Doll 13-0 with two grand slams, to make it 85-73 in favor of the Dames. But the Whippers weren’t through. Killbox scored a 10-0 jam over Racer in jam 8 when Racer went to the box, cutting the Dames lead to 85-84. Jam 9 saw the Whippers’ Diesel Doll outscore Vicious Vixen 7-4 to put the Whippers back in front 91-89. Unfortunately for the Whippers, Diesel was sent to the box immediately after the jam, as apparently she had picked up a 4th minor penalty. In the ensuing 10th jam of the 2nd period, the Whippers were sans jammer and the Dames’ Rock Candy scored a 3-0 jam to once again flop the score to the Dames favor, 92-91. Then Racer McChaseHer once again raced to a 9-0 jam in jam 11 to give the Dames the lead, 101-91. There was one final jam in the period, but with only 30 seconds on the clock there was no scoring to close the period with the Dames holding a 10 point lead.

The 3rd period started off a bit more defensively than the first two periods. In the first four jams of the period the Dames added 15 points to the Whippers 9, and then in jam 5 the Dames’ Lady Macdeath pulled herself off the track, and skated slowly around the track towards her team’s bench while she was holding her left shoulder. When she got to her bench and took a knee, the refs quickly called off the jam and the EMTs got to work on Lady. Eventually Lady had her left shoulder wrapped in elastic bandages and she was wheeled off for a trip to hospital for an appointment with a doctor. It was reported after the game that Lady did indeed suffer a broken collarbone. It should be pointed out that the Detroit derby scene does an excellent job at handling injuries, and skater safety is almost of paramount importance. After the injury was attended to, it was reported that the Dames’ Racer McChaseHer had racked up another 5-0 jam on that jam, making the score 121-100 for the Dames. After the somewhat lengthy delay for Lady’s injury, Racer skated two more consecutive jams, scoring zero and nine points in them. After seven jams of the 3rd period, the Dames led it 130-104. The crowd seemed to lose a little enthusiasm at that time, although the Dames fans still displayed their “Sink the Pink” signs (pink being the uniform colors of the Whippers). But yet the Whippers were not through. Skating as befitting the 2007 league champs, Honey outscored Vicious 9-1 in jam 8 and Killbox bested Vicious 5-0 in jam 9 to cut the Dames lead to 131-118. Then Racer appeared to ice the game for the Dames in jam 10, outscoring Del Bomber 12-8 to make it 143-126 for the Dames with only a few minutes remaining in the 3rd period. But again the Whippers countered in jam 11, with Killbox going 12-1 over Vicious to make the game 144-138 in favor of the Dames. Now the Whippers fans were frantic with anticipation, whilst the Dames fans were in danger of falling off the edges of their seats. Just enough time for one final jam, and the Dames did indeed hold on as they sent out Racer McChaseHer, and Racer easily outscored the Whippers’ Cassie Corridor 7-0 to salt away the game for the Dames, 151-138. On that final jam, Racer broke her own league record of 75 points in a single game which she had set in her very first game in the DDG, finishing the night with 78 points. That final jam also put her over 600 career points (counting both regular league and travel team points), the first DDG skater to attain that mark.

Scoring by period: Dames 49-52-50 (151); Whippers 40-51-47 (138).

Jammer stats (unofficial): Dames: Racer McChaseHer (78 points, 15 jams, 8 leads, 3 slams); Vicious Vixen (44 points, 10 jams, 3 leads, 5 slams); Rock Candy (24 points, 8 jams, 5 leads, 1 slam); Dire Skates (5 points, 2 jams); Lady Macdeath (0 points, 1 jam, 1 lead). Whippers: Killbox (63 points, 10 jams, 6 leads, 2 slams); Honey Suckit (43 points, 14 jams, 7 leads, 5 slams); Diesel Doll (12 points, 3 jams, 1 lead); Del Bomber (12 points, 4 jams, 1 lead); Kat Von D’Stroya (4 points, 1 jam); Cassie Corridor (4 points, 3 jams, 1 lead).

The next Detroit Derby Girls home game is Saturday, December 8, featuring the Detroit Pistoffs vs. the D-Funk Allstars. The action takes place in the Drill Hall at the Masonic Temple, 500 Temple St, Detroit, MI. Tickets are $12 in advance, $15 at the door. Note the new time for all DDG games: Doors open at 6:00 pm, games start at 7:00 pm. Check the website at <http://www.detroitderbygirls.com/> for the latest info about the Detroit Derby Girls games and appearances.

Next Page »

© Copyright Detroit Derby Girls • Powered by Wordpress