Hollywood Has Got Some Sass

Posted on December 15, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

Sass Knuckles skates for the Pistolwhippers and played Smother Theresa in Whip It.  I asked her a few questions about being part of a major motion picture filmed right here in Detroit.  You can check out Sass on film and some of our other DDG star skaters/actresses at a special viewing of Whip It this Wednesday in Ferndale.

WHIP IT Brew & View - Magic Bag, Ferndale
Dec 16, 9:00pm

Doors open at 8:00pm
Admission $2.oo

Sass, on a typical day of shooting how long were you actually on skates?

We were on skates for hours at a time but weren’t actually skating unless we were doing second unit stunting.  Most of the time we were geared up and ready just in case they needed us.

 

What was it like skating on a banked track?  Was it strange to go back to a flat track afterward?

The banked track was fun, but I found it hard on my feet due to the slope.  It was a lot easier to gain speed but harder to time a hit than a flat track.  I prefer skating flat track as it feels a lot less restricted.
It wasn’t too strange to get back because we weren’t really playing on the banked track. We had warm up time and fooled around a bit, but I’ve only played “real derby” on the flat track.

In the Whip It trailer there’s a snippet from the scene where you and Black Eyed Skeez roll into a thrift store and slap some fliers down on the counter.  What was your initial reaction when you first saw yourself in the trailer?

I squealed a bit and called my mom.

If it was draft day and the Pistolwhippers got one pick from the roller derby actresses, who would you draft and why?

I would draft Zoe Bell.  I get the feeling she could learn anything.  She was doing 360 degree jumps on her skates the first time I saw her on wheels.  She tried and fell a few times and the next time she had it down.  She’s fearless.

What was your favorite scene to film?

My favorite is also my least favorite.  The food fight scene was awesome because everyone got to hang out together all day and before we filmed the scene… but the combination of chili, hot dogs, shakes, and pie was horrible.  While we were waiting for the actresses to do their parts some of us (like Whiskey) were making gross concoctions to throw once the time came.  Everyone smelled like vomit when we were done.  My carpool had to ride home with all the windows down.

Most skaters skated in the movie under their chosen skater name.  You didn’t.  Why the name change, Smother Theresa?  How did it make you feel to have a fake skater name, an alias to an alias?

They changed my name to pay homage to one of the derby choreographers for the movie, Axles of Evil.  She played for Texas under the name Smother Theresa.  It was confusing since the movie people called me Smother or my real name and all the Detroit girls called me Sass. I had a lot to answer to.

You just had your first child.  What do you think he’ll say when he’s old enough to realize that his mother was in a major motion picture?  Having a mom that’s a roller derby player and a movie star should give him some major street credit on the playground, right?

Either that or he’ll be totally embarrassed… “yeah, that’s my mom with all the tattoos and the weird hair… please don’t judge me.”  He’ll probably end up a young republican to rebel.  My mom and husband are saving all these clippings and pictures for him to see how “cool” his mom is.  I don’t know what he’ll think about it.  I don’t know what other parents will think about it either!

Revenge of the Nrrrd

Posted on December 12, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

Riot Nrrrd skates for the Devil’s Night Dames and is sick of always losing.  She’s looking to get her revenge tonight and isn’t afraid to talk about it. Riot and I sat down and crunched numbers, precise grammar, the serious side of roller derby business, and the rock star opportunities that arise from being a dame on wheels.

You’ve played for over a year and a half and have yet to win a game.  However the Dames have a new training system in place and are looking for a fight. Can you tell us a little bit about the new regime?

Well, the Dames have had a history of high player turnover, but this year we’ve retained more skaters than ever before.  Last year we drafted about a million rookies, including myself, and we n00bs have been learning and working hard all year, including playing a lot of MCDL games during the “off-season.”  And the rookies we picked up in the recent pre-season draft, Betty Beretta and Formosa Fury, are not to be trifled with.

We also have two awesome new managers with hockey backgrounds, Candyman and Uncle Bodybagz, who are bringing a new perspective and some additional cohesion to the team.

But our new training system…..that’s top-secret!

What do you think of the Detroit Pistoffs?

You know, Holly, in all these interviews when you ask the skater about the other team, they always say such nice and encouraging things.  Where is the playful trash talk, I want to know?

So, what do I think of the Pistoffs?  I think they’re about to get Pist ON this Saturday!    (Ohhhhh, BURN!)

What makes you particularly nerdy?

Hmm.  The fact that my number is 1337?  The fact that I’m in my 9th year of post-secondary education?  The fact that I do science experiments for a living?

As the derby girls that I carpool with can report, I will often inundate them with nrrrdy trivia such as the fact that “Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.” is a grammatically correct sentence or give them the history of internet memes.

Being a member of the league is a lot more than just skating in bouts. There’re countless hours of practicing, committee/business meetings, making policy, and events/meet and greets.

What do you think the most challenging thing is about being a derby girl off skates?

I think the hardest part is remembering that we, the skaters, in fact run this league, and that if we don’t do it, it doesn’t get done.  It’s so easy to hang up your skates at the end of the day and forget the business aspects of derby.  Obviously hitting a jammer to the floor is way more fun than, say, drafting a committee budget, but ultimately, we can’t have the former without the latter.

You were recently on the radio. Tell us about that event and what you liked about it.

Well, you (Holly Hitsville), Tess Tackles, and I were on “Pandora’s Lunchbox,” a half-hour radio show, ostensibly about food, on Ann Arbor’s WCBN.   Our segment aired on Thanksgiving.

My favorite part was actually hanging out in the studio beforehand.  It made me feel like a rock star.  We sat around drinking our coffee and sitting on 3000 year-old couches in a room plastered floor to ceiling with band stickers.  The host of the show, Mike Perini, gave us skating magazines from the ‘40s to page through, and we explored the studio.

Yin Joins The Detroit Pistoffs Dynasty

Posted on December 12, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

Rolling onto the track in front of a sold-out crowd for the first time can be daunting as a rollercoaster of emotion battles against all the training that has lead up to this one moment.  Tonight, Yin will experience this firsthand.  I caught up with one of our newly minted Detroit Pistoff to talk about being a derby girl, the Fresh Meat experience, and why hairdressers always seem to be up to date on the coolest things.

Why did you want to become a Detroit Derby Girl?

In early 2005, I met a girl through Myspace, who is in the Kentucky Roller Derby. I was unaware that the sport even existed and became fascinated with it. I searched the internet trying to discover if Detroit had a league but never found a website. Then in late 2008 my hairdresser brought up the Detroit Derby Girls. To my amazement, I rushed home, went online, found the website and started attending the bouts. I fell in love instantly and just had to sign up for it. So I did and now here I am.

What’s it like being part of the Detroit Pistoffs?

I love being a Pistoff! I really can’t imagine any other team being able to handle my personality. Also, they have had incredible patience with teaching me how to be a better player and skater because I am such an amateur. Being a Pistoff I feel completely at home! I’m accepted, loved, and allowed to be myself, which means being outrageously loud and a cuckoo.

When skaters try out they go through Boot Camp with other skaters that we call Fresh Meat. This group tends to bond but then gets broken up when the Fresh Meat become Rookies and get drafted to one of the four home teams.

How has your experience as a member of an actual team differed from being a part of Fresh Meat?

I would describe it as being a child and then finally entering into adulthood. Each Fresh Meat skater was assigned a Derby Den Mother who supported and assisted us in our training. Getting drafted was our way of maturing and finally being able to call ourselves real derby girls…not just saying we were one in our hearts.

How are you feeling headed into your very first bout? Nervous? Prepared?

I am nervous only because I do not want to make any crucial errors and disappoint my team. Regardless, I know that I will enjoy myself and give it my all.

Any particular Devil’s Night Dames you’re going to keep an eye on while out on the track?

Hah yes! I told YoYo that I am going to pay her back for bruising up my left bum pretty bad. However, I think Whiskey is going to be after me because I don’t think she likes me constantly slapping her butt during league practices.

Bytch Ryder and Her Detroit Wheels

Posted on November 28, 2009

by Holly Hitsville

Bytch Ryder skates with her heart and for the Pistolwhippers.  She was bred for roller derby, after all.  Fresh off of an injury and a tough derby decision, Bytch talks about her love of the sport, her team’s solidarity, and her upcoming competition.

 

There’s some old school roller derby history in your family. Tell us about it. 

My pops skated professional roller derby through the 60’s and 70’s.  He played amongst some of the great derby icons, traveling throughout the US and overseas.  It is inspiring to have him here at the bouts; of course he’s sure to remind me what could have been done better. 

Why do you play roller derby? 

Simply…for the love of the game.  I have been on skates all my life, I love to skate and I have always been a physical competitor.  The ability to put the two together while surrounding myself with a bunch of great gals…wouldn’t you do it?

 

In May, the Pistolwhippers played the D-Funk Allstars in the championship bout of the season.  At halftime, your team was up by 39-points but then the tides changed.  D-Funk came back hard with a one-point lead going into the final jam.  At the last minute the Pistolwhippers were able to rack up a few points and win the game, 86-82. 

What did you learn from that specific bout?

During the second half we made some changes to our lines because we were feeling confident.  That game was a good reminder not to underestimate our competition.  You have to play with heart too and see it through to the end.   

What do you think of the D-Funk Allstars? 

One word comes to mind.  Spunk.  They have some key players and they have managed to retain a core roster now.  I am looking forward to seeing great things from them this season.  I don’t think underdog is a title they will carry for too much longer…go get ‘em ladies!

You’re just coming off of an injury.  What happened and how is your recuperation going?  I tore my left quad while attempting to make a hit on the jammer, just one of those fluke things.  It was a severe tear and given the amount of blood and swelling around the muscle they decided against surgery.  Recovery has been tough; I can say this is one of the most painful injuries I have ever sustained, but I’m working through it and trying to stay positive. 

  

Recently you made the decision to stop skating with the DDG Travel Team.  Was this a tough choice to make and have you had any second thoughts about it? 

It was an extremely difficult decision which I sat on the fence about for weeks.  When you train at that level, the only payoff you have for your dedication is to play at nationals.  Unfortunately, after tearing my quad that goal was not realistic for me.  I wouldn’t say I have second thoughts exactly, though I do miss it and I did not want to let down my team; I know the choice I made was best for my injury. Maybe I’ll skate again for the Travel Team soon.

   

What’s your favorite thing about being a Pistolwhipper? 

My favorite thing is being part of a team that has massive respect for one another.  We are sisters that come together to do something we love, we recognize that everyone makes sacrifices to be part of our team and we all have a voice.  Pistolwhippers play together, we win together, and sometimes lose together, but we do it as a team.

Action Shots by Colin Johnson.

Is this thing on? DDG invades the airways.

Posted on November 24, 2009

by Holly Hitsville

Riot Nrrrd, Tess Tackles, and I were invited to WCBN Ann Arbor Radio for Pandora’s Lunchbox, a 1/2 hour show, hosted by Mike Perini. We’ll dish about derby and listen to some old school songs about food.  Tune into 88.3 FM or livestream it here this Thursday, the 26th, at 6:30 PM.

Cookie Rumble Takes A Bite Out Of Hollywood

Posted on October 3, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

Take Two.  October may be mustache month but in DDG land it’s movie month with Whip It debuting nationally.  Our Cookie Rumble has been known to rock a fake ‘stache as well as steal some scenes.   Sporting big bad hair and one particularly lovely asset, Cookie Rumble tells all.

What was your reaction when you first saw the Whip It poster and noticed your butt in the “W” of Whip It?

Tinja was the one who told me (and then proceeded to snag me a huge poster, thanks Tinja!) At first I didn’t get what she was saying but when I actually saw the poster I thought it was hilarious! After all, I’m known for my booty here in the D and now everyone can gaze upon its glory…just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. What really made me smile though was the fact that there is a DDG patch right there for the world to see. Hooray for DDG!!

What was it like skating on a banked track and how is the style different from your usual flat track ways?

OMG! I’m terrible on the banked track. My shins were killing me by the end of the first day. Thankfully, we had some really great girls to help us get acclimated to the different style of skating. Silly me, I thought I was hot stuff when it came to derby…..not so much when I can’t even stay on the bloody thing! It did, however, force me to learn how to cross over left.

You’re in the food fight scene (shot at the Lafayette Coney Island, Downtown Detroit). Was the fight filmed in one take or many?  Describe your appearance after the director yelled cut.  Did you nail anyone famous? 

The fight itself was one take. One gloriously disgusting shot. I smelled like barf, I looked like I got barfed on, and it was one of my favorite memories from the movie. We were in Lafayette for a good long time so the tension leading up to the food fight was palpable. There were many a threat against my awesome hairdo (love you Stefani!) and a lot of goofing around. Did I nail anyone famous? I have no idea. It was hit or be hit. At one point I actually tried to crawl under the table, unsuccessfully.

If the Detroit Pistoffs had one draft pick out of all the Whip It actresses who would you draft and why?

I would have to say Kristen Wiig, Maggie Mayhem - she has a wicked sense of humor.

Are there any myths or misconceptions you’d like to dispel about roller derby before the film officially opens?

We aren’t allowed to fight or throw elbows. That, and I really don’t know how to pull off half of the sweet moves I did in the movie. Viva Hollywood!

Racer McChaseHer Goes Hollywood

Posted on October 1, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

A large handful of Detroit Derby Girls (DDG) skaters have gone Hollywood.  Perhaps you’ve heard of a little film called Whip It, based off of the book Derby Girl written by Shauna Cross, that was partially filmed right here in Detroit, Rock City?  There’s a DDG skater in just about ever scene; blink and you might miss one.  Our multitalented Racer McChaseHer answers a few of my questions about her Hollywood debut, her other nickname and the acting lessons she’s going to give Juliette Lewis after Nationals.

Most roller derby players skated in Whip It under their chosen skater name.  You didn’t.  Why the name change, Princess Slaya?  How did it make you feel to have a fake skater name, an alias to an alias?

It wasn’t necessarily a name change.  I was cast for the role of Princess Slaya who was a character on the team the Holy Rollers.  There were a few other skaters cast as characters in the movie including Sarah Hipel as Mary Jane Pain and Sass Knuckles as Smother Theresa.I didn’t mind having a fake skater name since there is actually a “real” Princess Slay-ya from the Kansas City Warriors.  I actually met her shortly after I was cast for the role.  She was like, “Hey, you are going to be me?”  It was pretty funny.

Word on the track is that your real nickname is Princess.  Coincidence? How’d you get that nickname?

Not really a coincidence but a funny story nonetheless.  It started back in the Fall of 2007 when we were at WFTDA Nationals in Austin, Texas.  After having the airline hold the plane for me because I was running late (per usual), we had to go back to the airport the next day to pick up my luggage, which obviously didn’t make it on the plane since I barely did myself.  I was on the phone with my dad trying to get him to stop and pick up something before flying to Austin.  Rock Candy looked at me and said, “Are we all just pawns in your game of life, Princess?”  And it stuck!

Some DDG skaters previewed the movie and told me about the scene where Drew Barrymore’s character, Smashley Simpson, passes you and then waves.  Did the producers know that you’re actually a highly ranked speed skater at the national level?  Did you find that scene particularly comical?

Yeah, that was pretty funny.  They told me to skate fast but slow enough to let her pass me.  I tried to fake it the best I could but anyone that knows me at all knows that I wouldn’t have just let her skate by me.

You obviously couldn’t hit in the scenes like you normally do at practice and in bouts.  Did you secretly ever want to lay out one of the actress, just once, to let them know what it actually feels like when your spine cracks from a great hit?

Well…none of them did anything to make me want to hit them that bad.  But when they kept asking the roller derby skaters to hit them harder, we just kind of chuckled and tapped them a little harder.

You coached Juliette Lewis, Iron Maven, on how to be a roller derby captain.  What pointers did you specifically give her?

I just told her that she had to give us a little pep talk and pull the team together for huddles and stuff.  You know, the basic captain stuff.  By the end, she really did become like a captain and would get us drinks and snacks out in the middle of the track in between scenes.  She’s awesome!

I also jokingly told her that if she needed acting lessons, I could probably help her out.  A few of the girls couldn’t believe I said that to her but I just laughed because she knew I was kidding.  When she signed my copy of Derby Girl, she mentioned how maybe she’ll take me up on those acting lessons.  Ha ha!

If you had to give out a Rollie, that’s DDG’s equivalent of an Oscar or Grammy, for The Best Actress Skater, who would you give it to and why?

Ooo…that’s a toughie.  I would probably say Ellen Page because she really got into her derby character, Babe Ruthless.  From the very beginning when she was trying out to the time she makes it on the team to the Championship game, she did the part justice in showcasing what it’s really like to be a derby girl.  Plus, she always wanted to try her stunts herself.  My guess is that if you see her doing a stunt in the movie, it’s really her.

What do you hope the audience gets out of this movie regarding the sport of roller derby?

There are so many people out there that don’t even know that derby is going on in pretty much every major city across the country and everywhere in between.  Once they find out about it, they usually make their way to a bout eventually but I think the movie really helps convey what derby is all about.  Friendship, competition, confidence, and family.

Photos by Colin Johnson.

Cold Fusion and Her Other, Non-Pink, Team

Posted on September 13, 2009

Cold Fusion was in a tattoo parlor when she discovered a Detroit Derby Girls (DDG) flier advertising the need for skaters.  She was no stranger to being on wheels, having stemmed from a childhood filled with time spent at the skating rink. Cold Fusion quickly jumped into the world of roller derby and has been with DDG for a little over five years now.  She plays for The Pistolwhippers, one of the four DDG home teams.  I caught up with Cold Fusion to talk about her other team, Motor City Disassembly Line (MCDL), on the eve of the MCDL vs. Ohio’s Gem City Pistol Whips bout.

When and why was the MCDL formed?

MCDL was formed last year by DDG as an opportunity to raise funds for the league and for non-Travel Team players to have the experience of playing a bout with a team outside of our league. Initially, it was only a single game opportunity against Killamazoo, but now has evolved into multiple bouts against other leagues.

What makes MCDL different from DDG’s Travel Team?

MCDL is different from Travel Team in a couple of ways. First, there isn’t a try-out for MCDL, although our players have to pass the league skills testing requirements and must be in good standing with the league. MCDL also varies from Travel Team because our roster rotates every game. We do this so that our many players can all share play time and can gain exposure to trying out new roles and positions on the track.

What do you like about playing with a rotating roster? Is teamwork ever an issue because of this factor?

I think that playing with a rotating roster is a strength and a weakness for MCDL. I have heard a lot of positive feedback from players about how MCDL has allowed them to sharpen their skills and learn new things by playing with individuals who they don’t normally work with. For this reason, I think that MCDL helps to strengthen league unity outside of what develops amongst home team players.

The rotating roster is also a bit challenging at times, especially when you consider that some of our games are scheduled close together. This doesn’t always leave us with a lot of time to pick our captains and managers, get that time we need to practice, and become accustomed to each other’s playing styles.

What have you learned from being a part of MCDL that you hadn’t been exposed to as a member of DDG’s home team, The Pistolwhippers?

Playing for MCDL has given me the experience of working as both a captain and an assistant captain. The Gem City bout this weekend will actually be my second time working as the MCDL captain. This is definitely something new for me that I haven’t experienced as a Pistolwhipper. It’s nice because it gives me an opportunity to learn and grow as a player and I’m honored that the MCDL players have asked me to do this.

When is the next MCDL bout?

MCDL vs. Ohio’s Gem City Pistol Whips this Sunday, September 13th, at Riverside Arena located in Livonia, MI.  Tickets are only $5 and may be purchased at the arena.  The doors open at 6:00pm and the bout starts at 6:30pm.

MCDL will return to the regular DDG venue, The Masonic Temple, located in Detroit, MI, on Saturday, October 10th for a doubleheader. MCDL will bout against Team Unicorn followed by our Travel Team vs. Dairyland Dolls from Madison, Wisconsin.

Del Bomber, Leader of The Pink Ladies

Posted on May 30, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

The Pistolwhippers are no strangers to championship bouts.  These gals were the Champions of 07 and they’re looking to add Champions of 09 to their list.  The Pistolwhippers are also undefeated so far this season which will make for an exciting game as they battle against the D-Funk Allstars, a team that only lost to them by 18 points. I spoke with the Pistolwhippers’ Captain, Del Bomber, to discuss her team, fast-paced skaters, and the crushing of opponents.

What has been the most challenging thing for the Pistolwhippers this season?

Choosing an intro song. Oh, and league practice attendance.

What has been your team’s greatest accomplishment?

It’s probably our ability to retain players. Pistolwhippers have a much lower skater turnover relative to the other home teams. Many of us have been skating together since the beginning and under the same management of Scarlette Fever (with our new addition of former Dames manager and my bff Bettie Two-Guns). Our comfort level with one another and the cohesiveness that results from that is probably our greatest strength. Honey (previous Captain) did a great job putting the original team together and we’ve drafted some really fantastic ladies since then.

Making it to the championship game three out of four seasons is pretty sweet too.

Give me five words that describe the Pistolwhippers.

Cohesive. Relentless. Open. Weird. And, um…Mature.

Roxanna Hardplace, D-Funk’s Co-Captain, is unable to compete in this bout due to a collarbone injury. Do you think Roxanna’s absence will give an edge to the Pistolwhippers’ game?

Of course, Roxanna is one of the best blockers in the league. However, a team does not get to the championship because of any one particular player and D-Funk has a deep bench of experienced hard-hitters and fast, agile jammers. Also, during games sometimes things “just click” for someone you least expect and they end up beating the ^&*! out of you. We try to expect that.

I also believe that Cap’n Hardplace will be doing plenty of damage to our plan of dismantling the Funk with her cheery disposition at the bench. Damn her and her positivity!

Pistolwhippers are known for their speed. What makes your team capable of playing such a fast game?

I would say that is probably because the Pistolwhippers are well represented on the travel team, which plays a significantly faster game than our league’s home teams do. Also, our core group of jammers (Honey, Kat, Sarah) are among the fastest skaters in the league and each one of them put in a lot of time and effort, outside of league practices, to remain so.

Do you have anything you’d like to say to the D-Funk Allstars, with this being their first trip to a championship bout?

Yes, congratulations! It’s been an amazing pleasure to watch how well D-Funk has finally come together as a team and I’m excited you all have finally made it to the championship! Pistolwhippers vs. D-Funk games are always fun to play… so intense and close, always. That being said, I’m looking forward to crushing you all on Saturday!

“beware the chubby G”

Action shots provided by Colin Johnson.

Fatal Femme Brings The D-Funk Groove

Posted on May 30, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

The D-Funk Allstars are about to make history Saturday night when they take to the floor of the Masonic Temple.  This is the team’s first time ever making it all the way to a championship bout.  D-Funk has left their previous losing streaks far behind them and have in fact lost only once this season to the Pistolwhippers, Saturday’s opponent, by a mere 18 points.  I caught up with my favorite Captain, Fatal Femme, yesterday to discuss the team’s season, the loss of Roxanna Hardplace, and to predict the future of the Funk.

What has been the most challenging thing for the D-Funk Allstars this season?

The most challenging thing has been improving our skills and strategy as a team.

What has been your team’s greatest accomplishment?

By far, it’s winning bouts after last year’s losing season.

Give me five words that describe D-Funk Allstars.

Relentless. Ultimate.  Strength.  Gratifying.  United.

Roxanna Hardplace, D-Funk’s Co-Captain, broke her collarbone in a previous bout less than a month ago.  What does it feel like going into the final game without one of your key players?

It’s a huge blow to D-Funk and not having her in the championship bout is devastating but on the other hand it gives the rest of the girls the opportunity to step up their game.

D-Funk Allstars are known for their hard hitting. What makes your hits so vicious?

We have worked diligently on the fundamentals of hitting and we make sure to practice them every time we skate.

Do you have anything you’d like to say to the Pistolwhippers, with their perfect record this season?

The Pistolwhippers are a great team.  It’s obvious they have been playing together for a long time. With D-Funk keeping the core of our team for two seasons and adding some awesome new talent this year, I see us going undefeated next season.

Action shots provided by Colin Johnson.

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