Detroit Derby Girls Bout IV and Mid-Season Draft Recap
Posted on February 27, 2009
By AK-40 oz.Saturday night the Drill Hall shook with excitement as the largest and loudest crowd Detroit derby has ever experienced witnessed the D-Funk All Stars break their losing streak with a 103-91 victory over the Devil’s Night Dames. The D’s Fire Marshall opened up 100 more tickets (which sold promptly) to the Masonic Temple’s derby den and it was filled with rowdy fans who roared from roster announcements to the last whistle. The downtrodden Funkers came in with the same record as the Dames, 0-1 so far in ‘09, but also bore the weight of a winless 2008 season. In fact the D-Funk hadn’t won since their first bout of Season 2 back in 2007. Their only 2 recorded wins were against the Dames in ’06 and ’07, and since had gone winless in 7 bouts and nearly 2 full years. Both teams surged strong in the beginning and a back and forth battle lasted the initial jams until the D-Funkers gained their bearings and started to pull away. Frustration and early penalty trouble snowballed for the Devil’s Night Dames into a hefty deficit by the end of the first half and they found the Funk up 63-31 in what looked like a possible runaway victory. A last-jam push gained them only a pair of points, but also a nice little spark of momentum going into the locker room.
Twenty minutes of New Orlean’s style zydeco music and hoola-hooping kids later the teams were back, and though the Dames were skating with only 11 bodies, they showed great endurance and that signature flame as they started wearing down the lead. Slowly but surely they made progress against a wide rotation of D-Funk jammers, and once the penalty troubles shifted to the Funk, the Dames pushed hard, and Racer McChaseHer put up a 15-point jam to decimate the D-Funk lead. The Dames were within striking distance but the D-Funk pack play wowed the crowd and ensured that they wouldn’t give up that edge. Captains Fatal Femme and Roxanna Hardplace looked every bit the all-star duo of blockers up front, and when working with original DDG skaters Tinja, Cat’s Meow, Black Eyed Skeez and a number of other “Green Machine” blockers they shut down the Dames’ jammers when they were down by 10 with three jams to go. The D-Funk dominated lead jammer and though the Dames got close to tying it up, they couldn’t penetrate the wall of neon green and shimmer silver. In the last two, the penalty troubles put the D-Funk All Stars in a tough spot and with a chance at tying or winning in the last jam (albeit a long shot of a chance), Racer McChaseHer simply couldn’t pull it out after a stunning game and what was assuredly a tiring effort to carry her team. The Dames fell just short of keeping a chance to head to the Championship for a third straight year alive. The Funk exploded as soon as the jam ended, and with the weight of 3 losing seasons lifted in one night, they were ready to head to that long awaited victory afterparty.
Outstanding individual performances abounded on both sides that night. The Dames’ rookie core showed great promise and coupled with their strong mid-season draft on Monday, it’s evident they’re looking to 2010 and not going to let their current 0-4 streak get them down. Captain Racer McChaseHer said “Yeah, we’re definitely looking at next year. The Pistoffs better watch out, because we’re taking it next season!” Racer was referring to the oft-told joke in Detroit that the Pistoffs win every even-numbered year (undefeated Champs in ’06 and ’08), and take the subsequent one off. Rookies Fifi La Foe, Dizzy Devine and Spanish Ass’assin looked like seasoned vets in the pack. Muffy Mafioso, though brutalized by the massive Funk attack, showed great resolve and visibly improved her strategy throughout the game. The Dames also had a standout performance from Vicious Vixen (lead all blockers in both offense and defensive averages, earned Offensive Blocker of the Game), as well as Racer who rocked on both sides of the jammer line (4.11 points per jam, 1.63 actions/jam).
The D-Funk All Stars all showed up in great form, but special attention is deserved by MVP Polly Fester who’s speedy jamming and great strategic blocking backed up the impressive team play by the Funk (31 points, 11 attacks). Roxanna Hardplace, flag skater and MVP of the most recent Detroit vs Arch Rival game, wowed again with huge hits (7 knockdowns) and great awareness (32 attacks). boo d. livers, who was heard to say afterwards that she was unhappy with her performance, as the Dames targeted her especially when she sported the star, still put up great numbers with a 4.0 ppj (40 points) and 70% lead as well as a +21 jamming. When told she was named Jammer of the Game she was shocked, and could only smile when a nearby teammate commented “yeah, just think how high her numbers will be when she has a GOOD game!”
The gray clouds over them finally cleared out the D-Funkers are seeing only blue, but that blue is of a dreaded hue. On March 14th their next hurdle comes as they shift from devils to blue dresses and face the defending Champion Detroit Pistoffs. They’ll fight the Funk for the chance to face the 2-0 Pistolwhippers in the Championship going down in May. The Pistoffs, of course, are no strangers to the big dance and with the additions of mid-season re-acquisition Effin’ Money and new blocker Jen Ann Tonic to their injury-depleted lineup, it could be the shot they need to beat the amped up Funk. The D-Funk All Stars are hungry for the win and a chance to take on the Pistolwhippers (who edged them out by only 18 points in their first bout of the season) again, and because they have never beaten Captain Cookie Rumble’s Pistoffs. D-Funk’s full bench and 2nd place seeding only garnered them one draft pick, third overall, but shored up their defense with the pick of promising blocker Holly Hitsville. The D-Funk All Stars will lose vet blocker Fanny Pack for the rest of the season (injury) and the Pistoffs retire rookie SnapHer. Longtime Pistoffs Soldier Doll and Wanda Throwdown join Smashing Darling on long-term reserve, and will sit the rest of the season.
The Devil’s Night Dames may be out of the running for the RS Cup, but with only 11 skaters and a last place standing they got the first overall draft pick in the speedy Yo-Yo, and a handful of other exciting additions. Their new blood includes San Diego transfer Ann Atomic and pure rookies Inky Gash, Master Braider, and Tess Tackles. Altogether their rookies total 11 of their 16 skaters for the rest of the season. The Dames bid adieu to retiring vet and defensive presence Loretta Synn who spent her 3 ½ seasons as a core player for the team. They’ll be taking on the “Maroon Monsoon,” the dreaded and currently undefeated Pistolwhippers, in April. The ‘Whippers are a team of serious vets and monster Travel Teamers, with a few hard-hitting rookies. With the trident of Honey Suckit, Kat Von D’Stroya and Sarah Hipel jamming they’ve been unstoppable and are +69 overall in two games (2nd place D-Funk follows with a -6 on the season). The rest of the ‘Whippers are known for stunning defense, and they’ve added tough blocker Mega Bloxx to their ’09 class of Karma Shoot’Ya and Cool Whip. With their first round pick the ‘Whippers went with a possible jammer or blocker in Jackie O’Noyoudidnt. The ‘Whippers are losing rookie prospects Demona and Kristi YamaGotcha, and TT vet Sass Knuckles will sit the rest of the season out with a pregnancy.
Tickets are on sale now for the rest of the season at www.ticketmaster.com and our local outlets. Also, don’t forget the Detroit Derby Girls Travel Team continues their ’09 push for the Hydra against the #2 Windy City Rollers on March 28th at the Masonic Temple in Detroit. Don’t miss our historic 50th bout when Chicago and Detroit finally meet on the hardwood!
Photos credited to Colin J.
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Roxanna Hardplace, DDG Travel Team MVP
Posted on February 16, 2009
by Holly Hitsville
Tell us about your skating background before roller derby.
I started ice skating when I was three and have been skating in one form or another ever since. Although I have competed in pretty much every discipline of figure skating, I focused mainly on freestyle and synchronized skating, competing internationally in Europe in synchronized skating for several years.
How long have you been playing with the DDG and when did you start skating for the Travel Team?
I have been involved since July 2007 and have been on the Travel Team since April 2008.
The first three jams or so of the DDG vs. ARRG were a nail-bitter. ARRG actually had the lead and personally, I was a little worried. Then DDG came back hard. What happened there in the beginning of the bout? How did your team start playing differently?
Sometimes we tend to be kind of a slow-starting team. Once we have played in a few jams, we start to understand how the other team is playing and how we can adjust our game to counter theirs.
You were voted the MVP of the bout last Saturday. You could see the concentration on your face out there and you just looked tough. I spoke with you a few days after and you mentioned you had made a breakthrough on your skating during that bout. Can you elaborate on that statement?
Some days you just feel like everything clicks. That Saturday was one of those days for me. I was extremely focused, but I also felt that my timing for hits, leans, etc. was dead on. The DDG Travel Team is also made up of some amazing skaters. Everyone was doing their individual jobs wonderfully, which made it very easy to mesh well and play together as a team.
What kind of boots/wheels do you roll on?
My boots are Riedell 965 Minx and the wheels I am currently using are D-rods, although I also really like the Omegas.
There’s a fundraiser to support the DDG Travel Team this Tuesday Feb 17. Can you give us the details?
The DDG Travel Team needs support paying for cross-country trips for WFTDA bouts, tournaments, uniforms, lodgings, etc. The derby girls will act as guest grillers at the BD’s Mongolian BBQ in Royal Oak and part of the proceeds will be donated to the DDG Travel Team. It begins at 6pm. Tickets are $25 adults/$12 kids. Prices include one bowl of stir-fry, soup, salad, a non-alcoholic beverage, tip, and taxes! Come out and help us get on the road! Seatings are promptly at 6:00 pm and 7:30 pm. Tickets may be purchased at the door. BD’s Mongolian BBQ is located at 430 S. Main Street, Royal Oak.
Photos provided by Colin Johnson.
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All You Need Is Derby Love
Posted on February 14, 2009
by Holly Hitsville
I HEART DERBY, YO!
crushin’ on U, doll
gotsta let UR feelings show
brutal valentine
There is a lot of roller derby love out there. Some women watch a game, immediately fall in love with it, and are sooner or later skating in bouts. A handful of fans are so enamored they become volunteers or referees. Others make witty bout signs and cheer their hearts out. One former Saline, Michigan resident chose to illustrate her derby love through haiku. I recently chatted with the self-taught artist, haiku master, and avid Windy City Rollers (WCR) supporter, Liesl Lavery. In late 2007, Liesl started writing haiku on her blog http://derbyhaiku.com/ and is nearing the 500th derby related haiku mark.
How did you become acquainted with roller derby?
My friend Jase is the photographer for the Cincinnati Rollergirls and he encouraged me to check out the local scene in Chicago. I went to my first bout in January 2007. Windy City Rollers played Fort Wayne, I think. I was overwhelmed, fascinated, and totally hooked. I have never missed a home bout since.
What made you want to start blogging about it and why with haiku?
Would you believe that Derby Haiku came into being at the Masonic Temple in Detroit? I was home for a visit and my dad and I went to watch the Detroit Derby Girls (DDG) take on the Sin City Neanderdolls. A little history- - growing up, my dad and I would sometimes write haiku back and forth about cool stuff we did together. Our courtside seats and a close call with a Neanderdoll named Ivanna S. Pankin inspired the very first Derby Haiku, penned by my pops. I ran with it and started my blog a few days later.
I keep up with the blog because it turns out the girls actually read it and like it (who knew?)! I have a ton of respect for derby girls and this is my way of giving them the mad props they deserve.
What is it exactly that you admire about roller derby girls?
I respect their tenacity, strength, speed, wherewithal, and fearlessness. Derby girls are the epitome of girl power: 100% girl. 100% power. Plus roller skates, hallelujah!
Describe your process for creating a new haiku.
It’s a combination of factors. A girl’s nom-de-skate is always a good starting point. And when I create the picture to go with the haiku, I often begin with a photo that inspires me to transform it in some way. For example, there was a picture of Beth Amphetamine stretching before a bout that reminded me of someone hanging out at the beach. So, I turned it into a postcard-like image that said “Greetings from Derby Beach”.
MY STAYCATION BEATS UR STAYCATION
fun in the sun, YO!
post-bout, head 2 the beach &
see what washes up!
Stuff in the news or popular culture can get me started, too. There was a series of haiku inspired by the presidential election last year. And I have an ongoing Alice in Wonderland storyline inspired by WCR’s Malice With Chains.
Most roller derby girls skate under an alias; similarly, you compose under a pen name of Lead Jammer. Why?
Poets need pen names to protect them from the wrath of those who may not appreciate their “art”. Who wants to face the fury of a derby doll on the dark side of a haiku? (I once had a run in with Donna D. Apocalypse over a haiku… barely escaped with my finger of power.)
Do you have a favorite derby girl and team?
I am a fan of ALL derby girls, but hold a special place in my heart for the Windy City Rollers. Varla Vendetta and the lovely ladies of the Hell’s Belles (reigning champions of Chicago’s Ivy King Cup!) totally rock my world.
On March 28th WCR takes on DDG in Detroit. There have been some major derby rumblings in your hometown regarding derby and this bout. Tell us about it.
Yeah, I grew up in Saline, moved to the Windy City, fell in love with derby and then WHAM! Last summer my little hometown was transformed into a movie backdrop for Drew Barrymore’s upcoming roller derby flick “Whip It.” So, now my parents compare notes with friends and neighbors about the latest star sightings- - be it movie stars or derby dolls. There’s talk of busloads of Salinians coming to the WCR vs. DDG showdown on 3-28. And you know what they say: “Saline girlz like mean girlz.” So, watch out!
Name the top three WCR players DDG should not take their eyes off of.
Dare I say… the WCR line up is wicked and the bench is deep. To be fair, I’ll warn you that Eva Dead is not really dead. Shocka Conduit plays with electricity for kicks when she’s not lapping the opposing jammer. And Varla Vendetta is recently bionic.
MEETCHYA @ THE ARCADE
25 cent jam
ms. pacman on UR tail, YO!
chomp, score, chomp some more
How are you feeling about this particular bout with the Masonic Temple being the birthplace of Derby Haiku, but you personally being a hardcore WCR advocate? Any predictions?
I might spontaneously combust on March 28th! It’s my DREAM COME TRUE! My two favorite teams go head-to-head. I can’t wait! I have to say that the WCR All Stars are a force to be reckoned with… but all bets are off when you derby in Detroit Rock City. I expect a night of malicious intent in a very neighborly, mid-western way.
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Detroit Derby Girls on NBC!
Posted on February 3, 2009
Detroit Derby Girls on NBC!The Biggest Loser, a major network weight loss show, filmed the Detroit Derby Girls training one of the show’s contestants. Look for DDG’s try-out session on NBC February 17, 2009! Check your local cable listings for times and channel.
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Recent News from DDG
Posted on February 3, 2009
First, CONGRATS to our Detroit All-Stars for their win against ST. Louis’ Arch Rival Roller Girls! And to our fans for selling out the FIRST travel team game in DDG history! See ya at the next bout! In the meantime here is some cool stuff going on in the Detroit derby world.
This is a reminder to send in your votes for Skater of the Month and Editor Pick-Photo of the Month!
Skater of the Month - Vote for a Detroit Derby Girl and tell us why your skater of choice should be picked!
Photo of the Month- Have you worn a DDG shirt in an odd place? See one of our stickers somewhere cool? Send in cool DDG related photos and it may be picked for Photo of the Month! All photos should be high res, please. No crazy nudie shots either! (For many reasons, there are no cameras or video allowed at bouts. If you are a photographer/ videographer and would like to film a game, please email PR@detroitderbygirls.com. Any unauthorized pictures taken at bouts will not be chosen.)
Send all submissions to newsletter@detroitderbygirls.com!
Signing up for the newsletter is easy! Just email newsletter@detroitderbygirls.com with the subject line “sign me up!”
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You will find the ladies of the DDG making an appearance at this year’s The Dirty Show February 6-8! visit www.dirtyshow.org or www.detroitderbygirls.com for details.
Don’t forget about Valentine’s Day!
Any date would appreciate the affordable fun of watching the Devil?s Night Dames take on the D-Funk All-Stars on February 14th! Get your tickets early, games have been selling out! www.ticketmaster.com or www.detroitderbygirls.com
The Detroit Travel Team All-Stars need your help!
The Travel Team, who represent the Detroit derby machine nationally, need support paying for cross-country trips for WFTDA bouts and tournaments, uniforms, etc. They will be getting hot at Mongolian BBQ in Royal Oak on February 17th! The ladies will act as guest grillers and part of the proceeds will be donated to the DDG Travel Team. It begins at 6pm. Tickets are $25 adults/$12 kids. Prices include bowl, soup, salad, a non-alcoholic beverage, tips, and taxes! Come out and get these ladies on the road! Visit our website for more details.
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