Del Bomber, Leader of The Pink Ladies

Posted on May 30, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

The Pistolwhippers are no strangers to championship bouts.  These gals were the Champions of 07 and they’re looking to add Champions of 09 to their list.  The Pistolwhippers are also undefeated so far this season which will make for an exciting game as they battle against the D-Funk Allstars, a team that only lost to them by 18 points. I spoke with the Pistolwhippers’ Captain, Del Bomber, to discuss her team, fast-paced skaters, and the crushing of opponents.

What has been the most challenging thing for the Pistolwhippers this season?

Choosing an intro song. Oh, and league practice attendance.

What has been your team’s greatest accomplishment?

It’s probably our ability to retain players. Pistolwhippers have a much lower skater turnover relative to the other home teams. Many of us have been skating together since the beginning and under the same management of Scarlette Fever (with our new addition of former Dames manager and my bff Bettie Two-Guns). Our comfort level with one another and the cohesiveness that results from that is probably our greatest strength. Honey (previous Captain) did a great job putting the original team together and we’ve drafted some really fantastic ladies since then.

Making it to the championship game three out of four seasons is pretty sweet too.

Give me five words that describe the Pistolwhippers.

Cohesive. Relentless. Open. Weird. And, um…Mature.

Roxanna Hardplace, D-Funk’s Co-Captain, is unable to compete in this bout due to a collarbone injury. Do you think Roxanna’s absence will give an edge to the Pistolwhippers’ game?

Of course, Roxanna is one of the best blockers in the league. However, a team does not get to the championship because of any one particular player and D-Funk has a deep bench of experienced hard-hitters and fast, agile jammers. Also, during games sometimes things “just click” for someone you least expect and they end up beating the ^&*! out of you. We try to expect that.

I also believe that Cap’n Hardplace will be doing plenty of damage to our plan of dismantling the Funk with her cheery disposition at the bench. Damn her and her positivity!

Pistolwhippers are known for their speed. What makes your team capable of playing such a fast game?

I would say that is probably because the Pistolwhippers are well represented on the travel team, which plays a significantly faster game than our league’s home teams do. Also, our core group of jammers (Honey, Kat, Sarah) are among the fastest skaters in the league and each one of them put in a lot of time and effort, outside of league practices, to remain so.

Do you have anything you’d like to say to the D-Funk Allstars, with this being their first trip to a championship bout?

Yes, congratulations! It’s been an amazing pleasure to watch how well D-Funk has finally come together as a team and I’m excited you all have finally made it to the championship! Pistolwhippers vs. D-Funk games are always fun to play… so intense and close, always. That being said, I’m looking forward to crushing you all on Saturday!

“beware the chubby G”

Action shots provided by Colin Johnson.

Fatal Femme Brings The D-Funk Groove

Posted on May 30, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

The D-Funk Allstars are about to make history Saturday night when they take to the floor of the Masonic Temple.  This is the team’s first time ever making it all the way to a championship bout.  D-Funk has left their previous losing streaks far behind them and have in fact lost only once this season to the Pistolwhippers, Saturday’s opponent, by a mere 18 points.  I caught up with my favorite Captain, Fatal Femme, yesterday to discuss the team’s season, the loss of Roxanna Hardplace, and to predict the future of the Funk.

What has been the most challenging thing for the D-Funk Allstars this season?

The most challenging thing has been improving our skills and strategy as a team.

What has been your team’s greatest accomplishment?

By far, it’s winning bouts after last year’s losing season.

Give me five words that describe D-Funk Allstars.

Relentless. Ultimate.  Strength.  Gratifying.  United.

Roxanna Hardplace, D-Funk’s Co-Captain, broke her collarbone in a previous bout less than a month ago.  What does it feel like going into the final game without one of your key players?

It’s a huge blow to D-Funk and not having her in the championship bout is devastating but on the other hand it gives the rest of the girls the opportunity to step up their game.

D-Funk Allstars are known for their hard hitting. What makes your hits so vicious?

We have worked diligently on the fundamentals of hitting and we make sure to practice them every time we skate.

Do you have anything you’d like to say to the Pistolwhippers, with their perfect record this season?

The Pistolwhippers are a great team.  It’s obvious they have been playing together for a long time. With D-Funk keeping the core of our team for two seasons and adding some awesome new talent this year, I see us going undefeated next season.

Action shots provided by Colin Johnson.

Detroit Derby Girls vs. Derby News Network

Posted on May 22, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

Derby News Network (DNN) was created in late 2007 combining the previous efforts of websites Leadjammer and Have Derby Will Travel.  DNN provides derby lovers with coverage on all things derby such as previews, bout recaps, live and archived bout footage, scores, and upcoming events.  In February 2009, DNN staff debuted the DNN Power Rankings, monthly interpretations of the top ranked teams in roller derby according to the consensus of Justice Feelgood Marshall, Gnosis, and Hurt Reynolds. I caught up with 2/3 of DNN to shed some light on the relationship of the Power Rankings with the Detroit Derby Girls (DDG).

DNN has the DDG ranked at #14.  Could you go into detail as to why they are there?

Gnosis: Well, the simplest answer is because we think that, if they played today, Detroit would beat #15 (currently Pikes Peak) and would lose to #13 (currently Duke City).  Every month we haggle it out, but there hasn’t been too much to haggle with Detroit.  We know that on a good day, any team in the 12-18 range could beat any other team in that range, but overall we’re pretty confident about where Detroit ranks.  In fact, the only time their rank has ever changed since we started doing Power Rankings was when Denver shot up after Four Corners.

Are there any controversies between the three of DNN regarding DDG’s ranking? If so, please explain.

Gnosis: Not really, no.  We’ve had plenty of controversies (I think Justice even called me “daft” once; that’s low) but Detroit hasn’t been one of them.  One or the other of us has moved Detroit up or down one spot occasionally, but we’ve always put them right back in the same place without much haggling.

Justice Feelgood Marshall: Detroit has stayed more or less static in part because they haven’t beaten anybody ranked above them for some time — not since 2007 Regionals. They consistently beat the teams they’re expected to beat, though. That’s partially just a scheduling quirk, as Detroit has recently played teams ranked far below them (Arch Rival, Grand Raggidy) or far above them (Windy City.)

However, we’re very much looking forward to the results of Detroit/Rat City on June 6, as that will be the first time since October that Detroit takes on somebody near their ranking. The outcome of that could very well make it considerably harder to confidently rank them.

Ok, it’s fantasy derby time…what team/teams would you like to see DDG go up against?

Gnosis: Oly Rollers.  I just think it would be a fierce bout.

Justice Feelgood Marshall: Well, strictly from a rankings-nerd point of view, I’m always curious to see teams match up against opponents we’ve ranked just a notch above or below them, as it proves our assumptions right or wrong. So I’d like to see Detroit play Duke City or Pikes Peak. I’d expect those two to be much different kinds of games — Duke City and Detroit play a similar style of grinding, defense-heavy derby while Pikes Peak likes to play a faster, slightly more spread-out game. Both would be extremely entertaining to watch.

If you could be a derby girl for just one day which DDG player would you pick and why exactly would you want to be her?

Justice Feelgood Marshall: This question is a trap! Becoming any derby girl for a day is a proposition fraught with potential unintended consequences. That being said, I have to admit I don’t personally know many of the Detroit girls very well, but from a player’s perspective, I would love to play a game as Racer McChaseHer — not many skaters have her combination of speed, stability, endurance and versatility. She might not be quite as flashy as Sarah Hipel or Cookie Rumble in her hits, but she’s extremely effective whichever position she’s playing, and seems to hardly ever get tired.

Gnosis: I’d say Sarah Hipel or Racer McChaseHer.  Hipel because she caused a very long discussion thread on DNN by officially changing her name.  I’m not sure if she was actually the first, but she was the first big splash, the first girl with national name recognition, to switch to her real name after years of discussion on the matter.  McChaseHer because she’s the only derby girl I know of who’s won the MVP award at a WFTDA tournament without playing in the championship bout.

Who came up with the idea to start the DNN Ranking System? Do fans love you for it or hate you?  Do you have any specific regrets about creating it?

Justice Feelgood Marshall:  I think the Power Rankings were originally Hurt’s idea, which came out of a conversation we had when we were made aware that WFTDA was going to a regional-only ranking structure, meaning there would be no more official national rankings. It seemed there was a definite hole opening up which we were uniquely positioned to fill.

I won’t lie, I was a little nervous about whether the derby community would find the Power Rankings to be a little presumptuous of us. But the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive and, PR-wise, quite a few WFTDA teams seem to have adopted the DNN rankings as the closest thing we have to national rankings — with the knowledge that it’s still the regional WFTDA rankings that affect tournament seeding, as it should be.

I think that part of the reason they have been accepted by fans is because they’ve proven fairly accurate so far. Right now, we’ve got a record of 35-9 in games involving at least one ranked team, with three of the upsets being in super-close games between teams we had ranked right next to one another — Charm City vs. Boston, Oly vs. Denver, and Pikes Peak vs. Rocky Mountain.

Personally I think the most useful thing about the Power Rankings — other than the opportunity they provide for people to argue on the Internet — is that they are monthly. Back in 2006 and 2007 when there were far fewer bouts being played, a quarterly system made sense, but now with some high-level teams playing three or four times a month, quarterly rankings can get outdated very quickly.

Gnosis: DNN readers start hitting our site on the first of every month now and complain each day until our rankings are posted.  So obviously there’s a demand there.  I personally feel no regrets about doing Power Rankings and I’m sure they’ll be a part of DNN for a long time to come.

Photos by Colin Johnson.

Detroit Pistoffs 116 vs. Devil’s Night Dames 71

Posted on May 12, 2009

by Rusty Wheeler
Detroit, MI
May 9, 2009

The Detroit Pistoffs concluded their 2009 season by overcoming a 13 point deficit to defeat the Devil’s Night Dames 116-71, thereby winning the Consolation Game for 3rd place in the Detroit Derby Girls league. The game was close throughout the 1st half with the Dames holding a 43-39 lead at the intermission. About a third of the way through the 2nd half, the Pistoffs went on a 57-4 scoring tear, helped by 7 grand slams, and ran away with the game. The Pistoffs won the 2nd half by a 77-28 count, and the Pistoffs defense shut out the Dames in 12 of the half’s 18 jams.

The Pistoffs were league champions in 2006 and 2008. The Dames were runner-up to the Pistolwhippers in 2007.

1st Half

The Dames jammed Muffy Mafioso vs. the Pistoffs Effin’ Money to start the game, but the jam was scoreless. The Dames struck first in jam 2 when Racer McChaseHer won it 2-0. Although the Dames Yo-Yo got lead in jam 3, the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble won the jam 4-3. Effin’ Money got the Pistoffs first lead in jam 4 and won the jam 4-0 to give the Pistoffs their first lead at 8-5. Muffy Mafioso came right back with a 4-0 win in jam 5 to put the Dames back on top, 9-8.

Racer McChaseHer got another 2-0 win in jam 6, then jam 7 was scoreless. The two captains, Racer & Cookie, skated to a 4-4 tie in jam 8. Muffy won jam 9 by 4-0 for the Dames, then Goodnight Gracie got a 2-0 win for the Pistoffs in jam 10 to cut the Dames lead to 19-14.

The Dames lost their jammer Rock Candy to the box in jam 11 for cutting the track, and that allowed Effin’ Money to win the jam 3-0. With Rock Candy still in the box to start jam 12, the Pistoffs’ Combat Cat recovered from a very nice block applied to her by the Dames Vicious Vixen and went on to score a grand slam and a 9-6 jam win to put the Pistoffs back in front by 26-25. Elle McFearsome then donned the star for the Pistoffs and pitched a 4-0 shutout in jam 13, upping the lead to 30-25. Summers Eve-L tied the game at 30 by winning jam 14 by 5-0 (with a slam), but was bounced around in the pack by Pistoffs blockers Mexi-Go, Bruisie Siouxxx, and Devil Kitty and had to earn the points the hard way. Jam 15 was scoreless.

Yo-Yo grabbed lead jammer for the Dames in jam 16, but was belted by Elle McFearsome. Elle continued the hit out of bounds and so was banished to the place where derby skaters have to sit for a minute when they’ve been naughty. But that block allowed Elle’s sister, Cookie Rumble, to skate by and win the jam 3-2, so the Pistoffs again led, 33-32. Summers Eve-L emerged first from the pack in jam 17 but was not awarded lead as she swam through the enemy blockers. Devil Kitty eventually did get lead and called the jam, but Summers won it 4-3, resulting in another tie score at 36-36. Muffy won jam 18 by 4-3 over the Pistoffs Vega Vendetta, and Racer McChaseHer ended the half with a 3-0 shutout for the Dames.

At the intermission, the Dames led 43-39. Amazingly, the Dames had 13 lead jammers to only 4 leads for the Pistoffs, although the Pistoffs defense prevented the Dames from fully taking advantage of those leads. Each team had only one grand slam. The Dames lost two jammers to the penalty box, the Pistoffs only had one jammer sent to the sin bin. The half was played fairly even blocking wise, although there were lots of easy “pass throughs” for the jammers going through the packs. Also, in four different jams in the 1st half, one team or the other employed the “Sarah Hipel” strategy of lining up a blocker behind the jammers to start jams so they could quickly get their 4th minor and thus skate directly to the penalty box without having to skate all the way around the track on their way to the box.

2nd Half

The Dames jammed relatively new skater Yo-Yo vs. the Pistoffs experienced Devil Kitty to start the 2nd half, resulting in a 4-4 tie. Yo-Yo got lead jammer, scored, but didn’t call the jam soon enough and so DK was also able to score. Summers Eve-L stretched the Dames lead to 51-43 with a 4-0 win in jam 2. The Pistoffs Cookie Rumble jammed vs. Muffy Mafioso in jam 3. Cookie blocked Muffy into the infield, and then stopped. Muffy was ahead of Cookie in track position, but couldn’t re-enter without getting a cutting the track penalty. Cookie did eventually start skating again, though, and went on to a 4-0 jam win. That jam reminded me of some old “classic” derby match races. Then the Dames Racer McChaseHer scored a 9-0 win with a slam in jam 4, although there was no lead jammer. The Dames led 50-47, their biggest, and as it turned out, last lead of the evening.

The Pistoffs totally turned the game around in jams 5-10, outscoring the Dames 57-4 and shutting out the Dames in 5 of those 6 jams. First, Vega Vendetta tied the score at 60-60 with a 13-0 rout in jam 5. Vega got two slams in that jam, and was helped by two huge knockdowns of the Dames’ jammer Yo-Yo by teammate Bruisie Siouxxx. Summers Eve-L got lead for the Dames in jam 6, but could only manage a 4-4 tie with Effin’ Money. The Pistoffs Combat Cat won jam 7 by 14-0 with two slams, followed by a 4-0 win by Cookie Rumble, then jam 9 went to Effin’ Money 8-0 with a slam, then Vega Vendetta won jam 10 by 14-0 with two more slams. Suddenly, the Pistoffs were leading by 40 points at 104-64, and there were less than 9 minutes remaining on the game clock.

The Dames tried hard to get back into the game, but only mustered 7 more points the rest of the way. Racer McChaseHer won jam 12 by 4-0, then called it quickly to save time. But that time-saving was countered by the Pistoffs finding ways to waste time, such as Cookie Rumble taking her sweet old time to cross the blocker start line when lined up as a blocker, which meant the jammers couldn’t start until that last blocker crossed the blocker start line. The Pistoffs, themselves, only scored 12 points in the game’s last 8 jams, but with a 40 point lead and tremendous blocking they didn’t have to worry much about scoring.

While there wasn’t much scoring in the final 8 jams, there was still lots of hitting. One hit that really stood out was a floor-wiping knockdown of Dames jammer Muffy Mafioso by the Pistoffs Goodnight Gracie in scoreless jam 15. There was an interesting play in jam 14 when Dames jammer Vicious Vixen lost her helmet cover. She made a great move to slide in front of a couple of Pistoffs blockers to retrieve the cover from its resting place on the track. After the game, Vicious admitted she hadn’t known she had lost the cover except for hearing the announcers on the PA saying “Vicious has lost her helmet cover and so can’t score until she retrieves it!”

Also, late in the game, the Dames lined up Whiskey Soured against Mexi-Go. Both skaters are usually blockers, and they skated to a scoreless draw. Mexi-Go did get lead, and called the jam. She called it too soon, however, as the Dames Racer McChaseHer then called time out with only 3 seconds left on the game clock. That timeout allowed one more jam to take place. While the score was out of reach, the Dames were able to jam usual blocker Dizzy Devine, perhaps to give her some experience jamming. But the Pistoffs Cookie Rumble got the lead in that last jam, and just called the jam off right away to end the game.

In the 2nd half, the Pistoffs totally took charge. They had 8 lead jammers to the Dames 7 leads, but the Pistoffs scored 8 grand slams in the period (9 in the game), while holding the Dames to just 2 slams in the entire game. The Pistoffs also outscored the Dames 77-28 in the half, and won the game by 116-71.

Afterthoughts

This was the 6th meeting between these two teams, and the Pistoffs continued their mastery of the Dames as the Pistoffs have now won five of those contests. While the Pistoffs ultimately prevailed in this game, it was a very close and exciting game for the first 40 minutes. Even the stretch of the game in the 2nd half where the Pistoffs went on their 57-4 surge was exciting, if not for Dames fans. The Pistoffs had four different jammers score 19 or more points, while the Dames had Racer McChaseHer with 27 points but nobody else with more than 17 points.

The Pistoffs used to have a dominating defense in previous years, and although their defense let them down a little earlier this season, their “D” played up to the standards of their championship seasons in this game. Roller derby leagues and teams are always “rebuilding” by having to replace players who leave for various reasons. It seems the Pistoffs have finally gotten their new players up to snuff, although it occurred too late in the DDG season and so they miss the championship game this year. However, the Pistoffs are still technically league champs until there is a winner in the D-Funk Allstars vs. Pistolwhippers game on May 30, and the Pistoffs played like champions vs. the Devil’s Night Dames.

The Pistoffs also now have a lifetime overall record of 9-4 (tied with the Pistolwhippers for best in the DDG), while the Dames have fallen to a 4-10 overall mark.

Statistics

The Detroit Pistoffs were led in scoring by Effin’ Money with 31 points in 12 jams with 4 leads and 2 grand slams. Close behind was Vega Vendetta with 30 points in 6 jams with 2 leads and 4 slams, Other jammers were: Combat Cat (23 points, 5 jams, 1 lead, 3 slams); Cookie Rumble (19 pts, 6 jams, 2 leads); Devil Kitty (7 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Elle McFearsome (4 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Goodnight Gracie (2 pts, 2 jams); Mexi-Go (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead); Justass (0 pts, 1 jam).

The Devil’s Night Dames were paced by Racer McChaseHer with 27 points in 10 jams with 7 leads and 1 grand slam. Other jammers were: Summers Eve-L (17 points, 6 jams, 3 leads, 1 slam); Muffy Mafioso (12 pts, 9 jams, 4 leads); Yo-Yo (9 pts, 5 jams, 4 leads); Rock Candy (6 pts, 2 jams, 1 lead); Master Braider (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead); Dizzy Devine (0 pts, 1 jam); Inky Gash (0 pts, 1 jam); Vicious Vixen (0 pts, 1 jam); Whiskey Soured (0 pts, 1 jam).

The Pistoffs’ Bruisie Siouxxx was awarded game MVP. Bruisie had a total of 19 defensive “actions” which are blocks & knockdowns, plus 5 offensive actions (blocks, whips, etc). Other standouts for the Pistoffs were Elle McFearsome with a total of 39 actions, Cookie Rumble with 32 actions, Mexi-Go (21), and Combat Cat (15).

The Dames were led defensively by Racer McChaseHer with a total of 24 actions, proving once again that Racer is a top two-way player who plays defense as well as offense. Rock Candy had a solid game with 21 actions. Other notable blockers were Vicious Vixen (20) and Summers Eve-L (13).

Future

The Detroit Derby Girls will conclude their 2009 season on May 30 with their Championship Game featuring the 2007 champion Pistolwhippers versus an up-and-coming D-Funk Allstars. The Pistolwhippers defeated D-Funk 102-84 in the opening game of the 2009 season, but D-Funk has matured since then and it’s anybody’s game. The Allstars will be without experienced blocker Roxanna Hardplace, though, as she was injured in a game against Grand Raggidy on May 2. The Pistolwhippers’ Sarah Hipel also has an injury, but it would be extremely surprising if she doesn’t play in spite of the injury.

The Detroit Pistoffs: The Bad Girls of Derby

Posted on May 9, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

Cookie Rumble is the Captain of The Detroit Pistoffs.  She is also a machine.  Seriously, she was voted Most Feared derby girl in 2008.  Don’t get me wrong, Cookie has an amazing personality, great leadership skills, and is usually the first on the scene comforting an injured skater, but her hits are giant and somehow she can be anywhere in the pack at a moment’s notice.  I think this is because Cookie plays derby with every part of her heart and soul.

Cookie, what has been the most challenging thing for The Detroit Pistoffs this season?

I think the biggest challenge has been to get all the rookies on our team caught up with the vets in regards to rules, skating techniques, and different scenarios that you would come across during a bout.

What has been your team’s greatest accomplishment?

Well, despite the fact that our team is consistently plagued with what we like to call “Detroit drama”, I think we have the most dedicated, upbeat, and all around greatest team in the world.

Give me five words that describe The Detroit Pistoffs.

- fun
- hard-working
- accepting
- caring
- drunk

Mexi-Go is another hard-hitting Pistoff and seems to be a protégé of Cookie. When she’s not practicing, she enjoys going to more practices.  She is a dedicated skater and is definitely someone to keep your eye on.  

Mexi-Go regularly attends all the additional speed, agility, and Travel Team practices.  What keeps you going when you do three different practices, for a total of six hours of skating, in one day?  How do you think those additional practices have improved your game?

There are only a few times where I have done all three practices in one day. Before I was able to do the Travel Team practices, I was going to open skate every and any night that I could. So, as silly is it might sound, it’s all heart and then add some protein and water. Most importantly it’s the support group of people that we all have that keeps me going.  I can remember what it was like being the last one in all the drills when I started.  Seeing how my speed and everything else has changed in a year keeps me wanting more.

I think the more comfortable you are on your skates, the easier it becomes for you to do things. The more you skate the better skater you will become. So, these are the things that I am working towards.

Do you have any advice for incoming skaters?

You will get out of derby what you put into it. And most important, have FUN!

Violet-N-Deed was an injured skater who religiously attended almost every practice.  While off skates, she enthusiastically managed the first MCDL bout of the season and often helped call scrimmage line-ups.

Violet is just coming off of a long injury.  What exactly happened?

I was subbing for the Devil’s Night Dames on February 9, 2008.  We were playing against D-Funk Allstars.  I was hit and tried to control myself so I wouldn’t land in the crowd skates first.  I remember going to get up, seeing my skate sticking straight up in the air, and knowing that my leg was broken.  Both my tibia and fibula were broken spirally.  The next morning doctors put two plates and ten screws in my leg.  I was in a cast for ten weeks, then an aircast for two months, and finally an air brace for two months.  In September, I returned to skating again but by December the doctors put me back in another cast with a bone stimulator.  I have been dealing with this for about 14 months; I am ready to get back to a normal life.

Even though you were injured you continued to come to practice and watch from the sidelines.  Did you learn anything new about your team while being off skates?

I have observed that our new girls have really come a long way since draft day.  I have had a great time working with them and getting to know them better.  My skating style also has to adapt, and now I know what to change and how to do it.  It’s going to be a long off-season for me, but I will make it through, ready for next season. I learned so much, not just about The Pistoffs, but also about myself.

Action shots provided by Colin Johnson.

Ask a Dame a Question

Posted on May 9, 2009

By Holly Hitsville

Racer McChaseHer is the Captain of the Devil’s Night Dames. She embodies speed, endurance, and a graceful style that makes everything she does look effortless.  Every move she takes is calculated and her hits are massive.  She can squeak through the tiniest of holes as a jammer and can easily open up the track as a blocker.  Not only is she an excellent skater but she’s also a patient teacher.

Racer, what has been the most challenging thing for the Devil’s Night Dames this season?

It has probably been our constant turnover of skaters. Of the four girls that joined our team last spring during the mid-season draft, none of them are around. Of the six girls that joined our team this past fall, two of them are injured. With the mid-season draft we just added five more girls to our team in February. It’s difficult to gel as a team when you are constantly adding new skaters to the mix. But as soon as we get some girls that stick it out, look out!

What has been your team’s greatest accomplishment?

I would say making it to the Championship bout in 2006. We had been the underdogs for a very long time and had never won a game until that season. We lost our first game of the season to D-Funk Allstars only to later beat the Pistolwhippers and the Detroit Pistoffs to get into the Championship (where we were ultimately defeated by the Pistoffs). We came a long way that season.

Give me five words that describe the Dames.

Dynamic. Amiable. Maniacs. Entertaining. Sarcastic.

Spanish Ass’assin also plays for the Dames.  She’s a solid hitter and always seems to be holding down the spot where her opponents want to be.  Her timing is right on and she never gives up until the other player is out of the way or on the ground.

Spanish, tell us a bit about your first season playing derby.

This first season couldn’t have been more rewarding or eye-opening for me. I went from not being able to understand what’s going on in game from even just the sidelines to being able to anticipate plays before they happened and actually make blocks and create holes for my jammers. I’ve had numerous veteran skaters to me help me along the way, and that is how I have improved. If anyone was willing to take two minutes to stop and explain/show me something, I listened! I also realized that you have to surrender your fear. The day during Queen of the Track, when Whiskey knocked the wind out of me, was the day I became a good blocker. Once I got back up and realized that was probably the worst it would get, I wasn’t afraid of the heavy-hitters anymore. Now it’s just fun and I want to be a heavy-hitter!

Can you explain how the score of a derby bout doesn’t always reflect the game that is being played?

The score can definitely change drastically at any point of the bout.  In any given jam 20+ points can be racked up by a team. Jammers can take a tactical approach to a jam by playing defensively to stop an opposing jammer from scoring points. The other team might be winning, but the score is not showing how well the defense is being played here. Penalties also play a big role in the score. When one team has skaters in the box, it makes it much easier for points to be scored. Jammers get points for every person in the box in this situation just by passing an opposing blocker. Points are being accumulated here, but that doesn’t mean that the other team isn’t playing excellent defense with the short-handed skaters they are working with.

Muffy Mafioso is a spark plug.  My favorite thing about her, besides the fact that she’s a skilled derby girl, is that she’s loud and you know exactly where she is just from the tone of her voice.   She’ll keep you going even when you feel like you can’t skate anymore.

You and Whiskey Soured have this great rapport off the track together. The two of you are a skating comedy/loudmouth/dirty joke telling duo.  What’s your relationship with Whiskey like on the track?

Comedy/loudmouth/dirty joke duo?  I always thought I was the serious/quiet/modest one on the league!  Seriously though, Whiskey is my sister from another mister.  She always has my back, regardless of the footwear or floor surface and anyone lucky enough to know her is a little better off than everyone else.

In a jam I like to think of us as the perfect Zen balance…I shouldn’t be telling you this because it’s pretty top secret, but basically, I hide behind her and she hits like it’s nobody’s business.  Bottom line:  I would kill for her off the track, and she would kill for me on it!

Action shots provided by Colin Johnson.

Detroit 179 vs Grand Raggidy 35

Posted on May 5, 2009

by Rusty Wheeler
Grandville, MI
May 2, 2009

The Detroit Derby Girls made it four wins in a row over the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls, but unlike the last time these two teams played, where Detroit squeaked out a 94-82 victory, this time Detroit thrashed Grand Raggidy 179-35. Detroit dominated the game in every way, and it made for a long night for the hosts and fans of Grand Raggidy.

Rather then recap this game jam by jam as is my usual fashion, I will instead write more in generalities due to the game’s lopsided nature.

1st Half

Perhaps the highlight of the game from the Grand Raggidy standpoint was the game’s opening jam which Jackie Daniels won for the home squad 3-0 to give GR an early lead. In jam 2 Sarah Hipel (formerly known as Killbox) got a 2-0 win for Detroit, and that was the last jam that saw Grand Raggidy leading on the scoreboard. In jam 3, Detroit’s boo d. livers put up a 13-0 win with a grand slam, followed by DDG’s Sista Slitchya winning jam 4 by 8-0 with a slam, and suddenly it was 23-3 for the DDG. It was off to the races for the rest of the night. Detroit outscored Grand Raggidy 77-12 in the 1st half with DDG scoring 7 grand slams. Lead jammers were evenly distributed at 10 apiece, but Detroit’s defense only allowed GR to score 5 points in those 10 jams in which GR had lead jammer.

The game was marred in jam 11 when Roxanna Hardplace was injured. I didn’t see what occurred, but the referees called off the scoreless jam when Roxanna was down on both knees on the floor outside the track and in front of the penalty boxes. After a somewhat lengthy delay in which the EMTs attended to Roxanna, she was able to walk off the floor with minimal assistance on her way to get further medical attention for what appeared to be a left shoulder injury. Both teams then received ample time to warm up again after taking a knee for the injury time. When the injury occurred, Detroit was leading it 39-7. It was looking like a repeat of the Minnesota-Grand Raggidy game of a week earlier, although Detroit never let up, and Grand Raggidy was not able to mount a comeback this time.

There was also an interesting ploy in the last jam of the 1st half. Many times blockers will line up deliberately with a skate in front of the blocker start line in order to get called for their 4th minor penalty so they can go to the penalty box early in a jam and “get it over with.” But for this jam, DDG’s Sarah Hipel instead lined up behind the jammers. That way when the jam started she was called for illegal procedure (or would it be a false start?), which was her 4th minor. But instead of having to skate all the way around the track to the penalty box from the usual blocker start line, from where she lined up behind the jammer start line she could skate directly to the box without having to pass Go, and also without presumably collecting $200. No doubt there will be a future WFTDA rule to prevent such shenanigans! By the way, this game was played under WFTDA 3.1 rules.

2nd Half

Detroit continued the pressure in the 2nd half, starting out by winning the 1st three jams by 4-2, 9-5, and 3-1 scores. Detroit scored more points in the 2nd half (102) than in the 1st, and both teams were still whacking each other pretty good. Grand Raggidy’s Jackie Daniels appeared to get roughed up a couple of times in the half. In jam 15, Jackie got knocked down in the pack and a teammate fell heavily on top of her. Play was stopped, and Jackie looked a bit shaken. Another time Jackie skated around holding her hand to her face after it appeared she caught either a finger or an elbow in her eye. Since I was recording stats I couldn’t note all of the big hits by both teams, but there were many. The hitting continued until about jam 17 (out of 19 in the half) when both teams reverted to just cruising around the track like they were at an open skate. There was no scoring in the last two jams of the game.

Detroit particularly dominated the lead jammer stats in the 2nd half, getting lead in the first 15 jams in the half, and 16 overall. Grand Raggidy were only able to get lead in 3 of the half’s last four jams.

Afterthoughts

What to say about this game, except it was sort of uncomfortable watching Detroit pound Grand Raggidy. Many skaters on both teams are friends, but in spite of that, both teams skated hard and didn’t hold back on the hitting until the very end. Grand Raggidy seems to have gotten disorganized ever since the Fall Brawl in Ft. Wayne in 2008 where they lost to an upstart Arch Rivals squad.

Grand Raggidy was once again without star jammer Mira Maheiney who has had to at least temporarily withdraw from derby due to life circumstances. I’m sure she would be welcomed back, if and when she can return to derby. I don’t believe GR has recovered from losing experienced blockers Javelin, Battleaxe, and Letha Venom to the nearby Killamazoo Derby Darlins when that league was formed in Kalamazoo a couple of years ago. Those three players lived closer to Kalamazoo than Grand Rapids, and so they decided to skate nearer to home. They do make up a deadly blocking trio, not to mention that Javelin and Letha are also quite effective jammers. One could also throw in Terrorhawk as an effective blocker that went from GR to Kzoo.

Bette Mangler was unavailable for this game for Grand Raggidy, and that also hurt as she is a blocker who likes to hit people. And I kept forgetting to ask where Angie Warhaul is as she’s not listed on the GR team web pages any more. Another good blocker that is missed.

This game was the 2nd game of a double-header between the two cities, and Grand Raggidy had to use several players in both games, in particular Disarmin’ Darlin, Keisha Mei Ash, Lindsay Blowhan, Lucy Morals, Shutter Speed, and Tone Loco. Having just skated 60 minutes versus the Motor City Disassembly Line and then having to skate another 60 against the Detroit Derby Girls All-Stars has got to be tiring!

Statistics

Detroit was led by boo d. livers with 50 points in 11 jams with 8 leads and 3 grand slams. Other Detroit jammers: Kat Von D’Stroya (43 points, 9 jams, 6 leads, 4 slams); Sarah Hipel (35 pts, 9 jams, 5 leads, 3 slams); Sista Slitchya (31 pts, 8 jams, 4 leads, 3 slams); Racer McChaseHer (20 pts, 2 jams, 2 leads, 2 slams); Elle McFearsome (0 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead).

Grand Raggidy was paced by Dot Matrix’s 12 points in 11 jams with 4 leads and GR’s only grand slam. Other scorers: Viva La Boom (11 pts, 8 jams, 3 leads); Jackie Daniels (8 pts, 13 jams, 4 leads); Hot New Girl (4 pts, 8 jams, 2 leads).

Don’t have any blocking stats, although Roxanna Hardplace of DDG was awarded MVP of the game.

Future

The Detroit Derby Girls All Stars next skate at Seattle on June 6.

The Grand Raggidy Roller Girls next travel to Cincinnati on May 30.

Motor City Disassembly Line 105 vs. G-Rap Attack! 92

Posted on May 5, 2009

by Rusty Wheeler
Grandville, MI
May 2, 2009

In the first half of a double-header between the “B” teams of the Detroit Derby Girls and the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls, Detroit’s Motor City Disassembly Line overcame a 16 point halftime deficit to defeat the host G-Rap Attack! by 105-92. G-Rap led 51-35 at the half, but the MCDL outscored G-Rap 70-41 in the 2nd half to rally for the win. MCDL was led by experienced jammer Effin’ Money with 48 points, 31 of those points in the 2nd half.

These two teams exist as a way for each league to have newer skaters gain experience playing against other leagues, although MCDL’s Effin’ Money, Cold Fusion, and Whiskey Soured already had beaucoup experience coming into this game. It appeared it was just the right amount of seasoning needed to help out the less experienced skaters on the squad. G-Rap also had some experienced players, namely Keisha Mei Ash, Lindsay Blowhan, Lucy Morals, Shutter Speed, and Tone Loco, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the MCDL.

1st Half

The G-Rap Attack struck first. After a scoreless opening jam, G-Rap’s Tamara Hurtsworse won jam 2 by 3-0, then GR’s Disarmin’ Darlin added a 4-0 win in jam 3. After GR got lead jammer in those first three jams, MCDL came back with 5 straight leads, but could only cut two points off GR’s lead in those jams 4-8. Combat Cat got MCDL’s first points in jam 5 with a 4-4 tie vs. Disarmin’ Darlin. Disarmin’ started that jam in the box, and Cat ended the jam in the box. After a scoreless jam 5, MCDL’s Effin’ Money edged Tamara Hurtsworse in jam 6, followed by a 4-2 jam win for Disarmin’ over Ghetto Barbie in jam 7, followed by a 3-0 win by Effin’ in jam 8. It was 17-12 for G-Rap.

G-Rap then proceeded to gain lead jammer in 6 of the next 7 jams, and outscore MCDL 26-6 in those jams. After a scoreless jam 9, Tamara Hurtsworse got a 4-0 win for GR in jam 10. Disarmin’ got the first of her two grand slams on the night in a 5-0 win in jam 11. Effin’ Money got the lead for MCDL in jam 12, but the best she could do was a 3-3 draw with Lucy Morals. GR’s Keisha Mei Ash got a 5-0 win in jam 13 (not a slam), then Disarmin’ won jam 14 by 4-3 over Combat Cat, then Keisha got a 5-0 slam win in jam 15 to extend G-Rap’s lead to 43-18. G-Rap had their largest lead of the game at 25 points.

Motor City called time out after jam 15, and must have had some energy drinks during the short break, because their Dizzy Devine skated to a 4-4 tie in jam 16 versus Lucy Morals, in spite of Dizzy starting that jam in the box. Dizzy did get lead on that jam. Dizzy had a toe-stop malfunction when she was jamming in jam 15, and she skated to the infield and tried to get the referees to stop the jam, but that was not to be. Then she skated on to the track and was sort of stationary, and was eventually sent to the box. I’m not sure what the penalty call was, and I forgot to ask afterwards or to check the penalty sheets, but that’s probably the real reason MCDL called a time-out - so they could repair her toe stop before she had to leave the box in the following jam.

In any event, MCDL’s Effin’ Money grabbed lead and quickly scored 4 points in jam 17. She could have called the jam, but instead kept going. That allowed GR’s Keisha Mei Ash to also score 4 points, but then Effin’ came around for another 4 point scoring pass and then called the jam with an 8-4 jam win. The final jam of the period was a 5-0 grand slam win by MCDL’s Combat Cat. It was sort of a strange jam as Cat went to the box early, but MCDL’s blockers were able to stymie GR’s Tamara Hurtsworse. Tamara was then sent to the box, Cat came out and was able to score her 5 points. That late rally by MCDL shaved 9 points off the GR lead and so G-Rap only led 51-35 at the half. GR had the edge in lead jammers 9-8 in the period’s 18 jams, and also controlled most of the blocking. Somehow, though, MCDL was able to stay close on the scoreboard.

2nd Half

The pace picked up to start the 2nd half, with GR’s Tamara Hurtsworse starting the half in the penalty box, MCDL’s Effin’ Money took full advantage with lead jammer, two slams, and a 14-0 jam win to cut the GR lead to 51-49. Jam 2 was without result (i.e., no scoring), and jam 3 was a 4-4 tie between Effin’ Money and Disarmin’ Darlin (Effin’ had lead). Keisha Mei Ash secured lead and a 4-2 win in jam 4 for GR, then Tamara got another lead and a 4-0 win for GR in jam 5. That put the GR lead at 63-55. That was to be the last jam in which they led, but nobody knew it then.

MCDL got lead in jams 6-8 and outscored GR 29-0 in those three jams. Ghetto Barbie started it rolling for MCDL with a 9-0 slam win in jam 6, followed by Dizzy Devine’s two slams in a 10-0 jam, capped by Effin’s 10-0 twin slam jam in jam 8. Suddenly, MCDL led by 21 at 84-63.

The Attack! didn’t just sit back, they struck back. MCDL’s Ghetto Barbie got sent to the box early in jam 9, so GR’s Disarmin’ Darlin scored a slam and 8 points before she too was sent to the box with a major for a back block on a play in which Disarmin’ was knocked down by MCDL’s Zooma Thurman. That did trim the MCDL lead to 84-71. Needless to say, jam 9 was one of the last “jammerless jams” we will see (this game was played under WFTDA 3.1 rules), and so each team had to select a new jammer from among the skaters who were remaining on the track. GR picked Lindsay Blowhan to wear the star, and MCDL countered with Whiskey Soured. Now, let’s just say that Whiskey does not sport a typical jammer’s physique–it can safely be said that Whiskey is “large and in charge.” Nonetheless, Whiskey got the lead and a 4-3 jam win, and the MCDL fans were loving it. I especially loved watching Whiskey skating for a short time with her tongue sticking out; it reminded me of old-time hockey player Eddie “the Entertainer” Shack who would frequently skate like that.

MCDL upped their lead to 92-74 when Goodnight Gracie got lead and a 4-0 win in jam 11. Jam 12 was scoreless. Tamara Hurtsworse got lead for GR but MCDL’s Combat Cat caught her and so Tamara called the jam. The Attack! edged a bit closer in jams 13-15, gaining all three lead jammers but could only outscore MCDL 8-2 in those jams. Disarmin’ Darlin won jam 13 by 2-0, then Tamara Hurtsworse won jam 14 by 4-0. Keisha Mei Ash skated to a 2-2 deadlock with Effin’ Money in jam 15. MCDL’s lead was down to 12 points at 94-82.

Jam 16 was huge for MCDL and Combat Cat as she got lead and scored 2 grand slams in a 10-0 win to put MCDL up by 104-82. It had the feeling of salting away the game, but there was still enough time for a couple more jams. MCDL’s Effin’ Money was able to eke out a 1-0 jam win over Disarmin’ Darlin in jam 17, more importantly using up some time. For the final jam of the game, MCDL lost their jammer Goodnight Gracie to the box about 30 seconds into the jam. G-Rap’s Keisha Mei Ash skated hard, earning two grand slams, but ran out of time in a 10-0 jam win that left MCDL with the 105-92 win.

Besides doubling their 1st half scoring and holding G-Rap to 10 fewer points than Half One, MCDL had more lead jammers in the 2nd half, 10-8.

Afterthoughts

This was an entertaining game. Each team led by 20 plus points at different times, although MCDL led at the end when it counted. While G-Rap had the blocking edge in the 1st half, MCDL evened that in the 2nd. This game was also played in streaks where one team would get several lead jammers in a row and outscore the opponent by a margin. The biggest of those streaks went to MCDL in jams 6-8 of the 2nd half when they outscored GR 29-0. Take away those three jams and GR wins instead. But, you must count all jams skated, and thus Motor City hangs on for the win.

I was helping out with stats-keeping in this game, and I have to say I had a little confusion at times. At least two different G-Rap skaters had large stickers on the right sides of their helmets that looked very much like the jammer’s star, although of course those stickers were visible only when those skaters weren’t wearing any helmet covers. A couple time I was about to credit Motor City blockers with a jammer knockdown, only to check to see it was instead a blocker on blocker knockdown. I would like to point out that WFTDA 4.0 rule 3.6.5.1 says: “Only the Jammer’s helmet cover may have stars on it or any marks that might be confused with stars.” Also, rule 3.6.4.1 says: “Only the Pivot’s helmet cover may have stripes on it that run the length of the helmet in any direction or any marks that might be confused with stripes.”

Statistics

Motor City’s Effin’ Money was high scorer in the game with 48 points while jamming 10 times with 8 leads (an outstanding 80% lead percentage), also scoring 4 grand slams, all in the 2nd half. Effin’ also was high in the game with a + 20 in plus/minus as a jammer. Other Motor City scorers were: Combat Cat (22 points, 11 jams, 4 leads, 3 slams); Dizzy Devine (14 pts, 3 jams, 2 leads, 2 slams); Ghetto Barbie (11 pts, 5 jams, 2 leads, 1 slam); Goodnight Gracie (6 pts, 6 jams, 1 lead); and Whiskey Soured (4 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead). I’m not certain, but that may have been the first career jam for Ms. Soured.

The G-Rap Attack! were led by a nice 1-2 combo of Disarmin’ Darlin (35 points, 10 jams, 5 leads, 2 slams, also +12 in plus/minus as a jammer) and Keisha Mei Ash (30 pts, 12 jams, 7 leads, 3 slams). Other GR scorers: Tamara Hurtsworse (17 pts, 10 jams, 5 leads); Lucy Morals (7 pts, 3 jams); and Lindsay Blowhan (3 pts, 1 jam).

Sorry, don’t yet have any blocking stats.

Future

The Motor City Disassembly Line next returns to action on July 18 at the Chicago Outfit.

The G-Rap Attack!’s next game is May 30 at Cincinnati.

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